Probably last posting of the year... and boy has this year been quite a ride! Let me start by thanking all of you for your comments and support. I hope that this blog has been of some little help if you either have had a replacement yourself, are scheduled one, or are trying to avoid one!
So why "The Revenge of Frankenstein"? When I get up from a chair and start to walk I feel like I am doing a darn good (but not on purpose) imitation of Frankenstein. Lots of times I am walking near to normal - no limp, no listing to one side, no hesitation. But, every once in a while, I do feel that if my skin were green and I had some bolts coming out of my neck you would do a double-take, thinking you were for sure seeing Frankenstein himself, walking down the street! I can only be hopeful that my "steinish" walk will also improve as the months go by.
In terms of discomfort - I still have that feeling that I have a bad scrape on my knee. My guess is that I keep tearing tissue under the skin. I am on the fence about calling the doctor - my guess is that, even if that's it, there's nothing I can do about it - he certainly won't want me to keep my knee still - that would have even worse results. Meanwhile I've started using the stationary bike but not every day. I think that's too much right now.
So anyway, I want to wish you all a healthy, happy New Year - and my advice: TAKE CARE OF YOUR KNEES!!!!!!! If taking off weight or strengthening your leg muscles will help avoid or put off a knee replacement, make that your ABSOLUTELY MOST IMPORTANT resolution this year!
Miriam
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Am I dreaming?
Well it might be because what I noticed was in the wee hours of the night. My knee isn't stiff when it's been bent and I have to straighten it --- and it's not stiff when it's been straight and I have to bend it. I'm telling you... little things are so big!
Also - on the diet front I just want to share my "ah-ha" moment. I was in the kitchen in the evening, and not even hungry - just "looking" - y'all know what I mean. I had something in my hand and I put it down. I said to myself - "Every decision I make has a consequence." It wasn't just the consequence on the scale - because that is fleeting. The deeper consequence was that, given my tendencies, I know that if I had the one thing, it would have lead to eating everything "not nailed down" in the kitchen. Then I would have felt bad about myself. Then I would have had to "start over" AGAIN. I'm sick of starting over.
However, having said that - wishing you a healthy, prosperous new year - where all your start overs are perfect!
Miriam
p.s. Sandy - I hope you enjoyed your trip to Disney. Didn't I tell you the old-lady scooter would save you???
Also - on the diet front I just want to share my "ah-ha" moment. I was in the kitchen in the evening, and not even hungry - just "looking" - y'all know what I mean. I had something in my hand and I put it down. I said to myself - "Every decision I make has a consequence." It wasn't just the consequence on the scale - because that is fleeting. The deeper consequence was that, given my tendencies, I know that if I had the one thing, it would have lead to eating everything "not nailed down" in the kitchen. Then I would have felt bad about myself. Then I would have had to "start over" AGAIN. I'm sick of starting over.
However, having said that - wishing you a healthy, prosperous new year - where all your start overs are perfect!
Miriam
p.s. Sandy - I hope you enjoyed your trip to Disney. Didn't I tell you the old-lady scooter would save you???
Friday, December 16, 2011
I may have turned a corner :)
Finally! I can say that I have moved two steps forward and no steps back! In terms of turning a corner, not a sharp right, not even a right fork... more like a very slight bearing to the right - but I'll take it.
I've noticed it as I've been taking the steps at my office up AND down, step-over-step. Going down I have to hold on both sides (one side a railing and one side a wall). I cannot do it if I don't have an anchor on both sides. Going up I can hold on to just one side, and once in a while I try to do it with a "look Ma - no hands" sort of glee. I think that as the stair-stepping gets better other things are as well. Probably because I am getting stronger more than anything else.
My endurance on my feet is better too. I find that I can go grocery shopping and not be holding on to the cart for dear life by the time I make it to the check-out line. I still do feel the swelling but it's not as massive and depressing as it had been. What hasn't lifted at all is the numbness alongside the knee and part way down the leg. Also, I still do look quizzically at my knee, as it often feels as if it's been scraped, but the skin is just fine - the scrape is on the inside... weird...
I've been doing well with my dieting, and I'm hopeful that each ounce of weight loss will transfer to some relief to my knees.
Anyway - all is well, and things are looking up. I have started taking Arthritis-Strength Tylenol since I can't take any NSAIDs. So far so good - I think that has a bit to do with why I feel better as well. So I'm almost at the 7-month mark, and finally feeling a little bit better about my decision to do the surgery. I can't wait till I hit the 12-month or 18-month mark - I'm hopeful!
Miriam
I've noticed it as I've been taking the steps at my office up AND down, step-over-step. Going down I have to hold on both sides (one side a railing and one side a wall). I cannot do it if I don't have an anchor on both sides. Going up I can hold on to just one side, and once in a while I try to do it with a "look Ma - no hands" sort of glee. I think that as the stair-stepping gets better other things are as well. Probably because I am getting stronger more than anything else.
My endurance on my feet is better too. I find that I can go grocery shopping and not be holding on to the cart for dear life by the time I make it to the check-out line. I still do feel the swelling but it's not as massive and depressing as it had been. What hasn't lifted at all is the numbness alongside the knee and part way down the leg. Also, I still do look quizzically at my knee, as it often feels as if it's been scraped, but the skin is just fine - the scrape is on the inside... weird...
I've been doing well with my dieting, and I'm hopeful that each ounce of weight loss will transfer to some relief to my knees.
Anyway - all is well, and things are looking up. I have started taking Arthritis-Strength Tylenol since I can't take any NSAIDs. So far so good - I think that has a bit to do with why I feel better as well. So I'm almost at the 7-month mark, and finally feeling a little bit better about my decision to do the surgery. I can't wait till I hit the 12-month or 18-month mark - I'm hopeful!
Miriam
Monday, December 5, 2011
Just my luck
I've recently been told by the doctor that I have to stay off NSAIDs (Advil, Aleve, Motrin, etc.). I got my blood tests back from last week and I have low kidney function (thank heavens only a few numbers off from normal, so it very well be MY normal) - but he suspects it might be from the anti-inflammatories I've been living on since about 2003, and especially since I started them after my surgery. The first few days were hard - especially since I had gone walking (only a mile ... but still...).
I realized with the walking that even every other day is too much. If I go walking once or twice a week it's all I can handle now. I have been going up and down steps, though, step-over-step. Not more than a flight at a time, but still I'm happy with that. (And holding on, on both sides.) And, I've been using my recumbent bike more often. So, little by VERY little... at least I'm moving.
Diet-wise, I'm doing well. With being on South Beach recently, I've been making the shift back to "clean eating" - I am finding that I just cannot follow RULES. Suggestions, yes. Guidelines, yes. Rules - NO. So I'm making my own... but within reason! lol Also, I've come to the decision that counting is counting - some days I do points, some days I do calories, some days I do food groups (just as a system of checks and balances). I find that if I use any of these counting methods just to make sure I'm eating within a health range (not too much, not too little) I do well with my overall choices and portion decisions.
I think that any diet works if you follow it. What drives my choices is health, not diet rules. I think rules are good - to a point. Then you get someone like me who GAINS weight on a diet, and you know that I'm a fighter... lol Not making an excuse not to diet - I actually AM, I'm just taking the best of everything and fashioning what is good for me. A little WW, a little SB, a little ECD, etc.
I guess I do have a few rules:
(1) NO JUNK
(2) NORMAL portions
(3) If it ain't hunger, food isn't gonna fix it
(4) Stop at two bites if my only need is to "have just a taste"
I can live with those!
Miriam
I realized with the walking that even every other day is too much. If I go walking once or twice a week it's all I can handle now. I have been going up and down steps, though, step-over-step. Not more than a flight at a time, but still I'm happy with that. (And holding on, on both sides.) And, I've been using my recumbent bike more often. So, little by VERY little... at least I'm moving.
Diet-wise, I'm doing well. With being on South Beach recently, I've been making the shift back to "clean eating" - I am finding that I just cannot follow RULES. Suggestions, yes. Guidelines, yes. Rules - NO. So I'm making my own... but within reason! lol Also, I've come to the decision that counting is counting - some days I do points, some days I do calories, some days I do food groups (just as a system of checks and balances). I find that if I use any of these counting methods just to make sure I'm eating within a health range (not too much, not too little) I do well with my overall choices and portion decisions.
I think that any diet works if you follow it. What drives my choices is health, not diet rules. I think rules are good - to a point. Then you get someone like me who GAINS weight on a diet, and you know that I'm a fighter... lol Not making an excuse not to diet - I actually AM, I'm just taking the best of everything and fashioning what is good for me. A little WW, a little SB, a little ECD, etc.
I guess I do have a few rules:
(1) NO JUNK
(2) NORMAL portions
(3) If it ain't hunger, food isn't gonna fix it
(4) Stop at two bites if my only need is to "have just a taste"
I can live with those!
Miriam
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Back in Business
Thanks to Sandy at "New knees- the good, the bad, and the ugly!" for reminding me that I haven't posted for a while. My work crunch has subsided and it was my intention to start reposting on Monday - but it was nice to get the nudge this morning! First, congratulations to her for reaching her 1-year anniversary. Anyone who has had a knee replacement, or is considering one, PLEASE bookmark her site! I, myself just had my 6-month anniversary.
I still have the tightness and swelling, but I knew going in to this that 6 months would only mark the 1/2-way point. After reading Sandy's blog I realize that might be too over ambitious, and that indeed, six months might only be the 1/3-way point. That's good to acknowledge, though, because it takes the edge off the disappointment. Anyway, when going in for my check-up I decided that I was going to feel any way the doctor reacted to my progress. In other words, although I am miserably disappointed that this is "only" how far I've come, if he's thrilled and happy about my progress I will be too. Needless to say - he was thrilled and happy. So I had to let a lot of my expectations and feelings go, and be grateful for being just where I am.
I have started to use the stairs at work instead of the elevator - just tackling one flight at a time up and down, step over step, several times a day. My inclination is to hold on both sides, but now I'm holding on to just one side, and even at that, I practice not holding on at all. That's a big deal, believe me! I let everything else slide (the swimming and the stretching) because of that awful setback I had, but am now going to pick up on walking. The doctor was absolutely impressed that I could walk 1 - 1.5 miles without resting. He said to stick with just one mile for a while so as to not have another set-back. (That old teetering on the line between what is just enough to make progress, and what is too much that will result in a setback.)
In terms of dieting - that has been going well, I am happy to report. A chat friend and I have started Linda Spangle's "100 Days of Weight Loss" - two of my "followers" here also are doing that - and it's nice to have support with that. It's not a diet - it's a way to help with any eating plan you are doing. It's been quite helpful and I haven't missed a day yet (granted I'm only on day 14... lol).
So - back in the saddle! Exercise and diet.
Miriam
I still have the tightness and swelling, but I knew going in to this that 6 months would only mark the 1/2-way point. After reading Sandy's blog I realize that might be too over ambitious, and that indeed, six months might only be the 1/3-way point. That's good to acknowledge, though, because it takes the edge off the disappointment. Anyway, when going in for my check-up I decided that I was going to feel any way the doctor reacted to my progress. In other words, although I am miserably disappointed that this is "only" how far I've come, if he's thrilled and happy about my progress I will be too. Needless to say - he was thrilled and happy. So I had to let a lot of my expectations and feelings go, and be grateful for being just where I am.
I have started to use the stairs at work instead of the elevator - just tackling one flight at a time up and down, step over step, several times a day. My inclination is to hold on both sides, but now I'm holding on to just one side, and even at that, I practice not holding on at all. That's a big deal, believe me! I let everything else slide (the swimming and the stretching) because of that awful setback I had, but am now going to pick up on walking. The doctor was absolutely impressed that I could walk 1 - 1.5 miles without resting. He said to stick with just one mile for a while so as to not have another set-back. (That old teetering on the line between what is just enough to make progress, and what is too much that will result in a setback.)
In terms of dieting - that has been going well, I am happy to report. A chat friend and I have started Linda Spangle's "100 Days of Weight Loss" - two of my "followers" here also are doing that - and it's nice to have support with that. It's not a diet - it's a way to help with any eating plan you are doing. It's been quite helpful and I haven't missed a day yet (granted I'm only on day 14... lol).
So - back in the saddle! Exercise and diet.
Miriam
Monday, November 7, 2011
busy at work....
I am going to suspend my blog at least until Thanksgiving. We are entering a very busy "crunch time" at work and my only free time will probably be spent vegging out when I get home, waiting for bedtime to arrive.
No worries, though - I will continue my paper journaling and look forward to sharing with you at the end of the month!
Have a great month and everyone enjoy your Thanksgiving!
Miriam
No worries, though - I will continue my paper journaling and look forward to sharing with you at the end of the month!
Have a great month and everyone enjoy your Thanksgiving!
Miriam
Sunday, November 6, 2011
The Morning After
No - don't worry - it's GOOD news. For two days now I have been following Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet and it has been SO easy. (Flo - thank you for the recipe link.) My cravings have already begun to subside, and I feel normal again. The "morning after" reference isn't that "hangover" mode - quite the opposite!
Last night I was laying in bed and spent close to two hours talking myself out of going to the kitchen to eat BBQ potato chips that I had bought for my guys. The conversation went like this: One small bowl of chips won't hurt. ... But you KNOW you won't stop at that.... Yes I will... No you won't... Okay then I will have some fruit... But you committed to Phase 1 to get rid of cravings... Okay, then I'll have potato chips.... Well it's 9PM and the kitchen is closed - that's a great rule.. But if I'm hungry I want to eat - there's no rule that says I have to go to sleep hungry...." OMG this went back and forth for TWO hours. But then instead of words I tried to hone in on the feelings - how I would feel in the morning if I gave in to the chips. How I would hate myself and beat myself up and have to start all over again on day 1.
But really, I was hungry. So I made myself a plate of about 5 pieces of very thinly sliced deli turkey. And this morning I feel great! Willpower is like a muscle - when you exercise it, it gets stronger. Maybe tonight the conversation will go on for only an hour!
Meanwhile, I had such a busy day - I started with 2 1/2 hours of teaching my belly dance class. I was able to join the gals for part of the drills. It felt so good to dance. I just couldn't do the steps where I my right leg had to bear the weight. That will still take a while. Then I grocery shopped for at least two hours, making a detour to TJMaxx where I bought a new top and some glass Pyrex food storage containers (I'm trying to get away from plastic - it's expensive so I'm just going to get a couple of pieces at a time). ETC. So last night my legs (not just my knees) were just aching. I found one prescription pill from after my surgery (stupid me threw them out because I didn't like them - but one pill escaped) and took that with TWO Advil-PMs and slept really well. THAT coupled with not hating myself this morning feels just SO good.
I really was SO hungry the minute I woke up I grabbed a piece of chicken that was left from dinner last night! I'll call that breakfast unless I make some eggs later. Also having a coffee.
Lunch: Huge salad with olive oil, walnuts, and cut up chicken.
Dinner: I am making brisket with lima beans. I'm REALLY looking forward to that!
My new favorite evening treat (more than the Skinny Cow ice creams I've been having) is a small container of fat free Greek yogurt, walnuts and a spoon of splenda. When I am off Phase 1 I will add 1/2 sliced banana to it.
Moral of the story: Mornings after CAN be good!
Miriam
Last night I was laying in bed and spent close to two hours talking myself out of going to the kitchen to eat BBQ potato chips that I had bought for my guys. The conversation went like this: One small bowl of chips won't hurt. ... But you KNOW you won't stop at that.... Yes I will... No you won't... Okay then I will have some fruit... But you committed to Phase 1 to get rid of cravings... Okay, then I'll have potato chips.... Well it's 9PM and the kitchen is closed - that's a great rule.. But if I'm hungry I want to eat - there's no rule that says I have to go to sleep hungry...." OMG this went back and forth for TWO hours. But then instead of words I tried to hone in on the feelings - how I would feel in the morning if I gave in to the chips. How I would hate myself and beat myself up and have to start all over again on day 1.
But really, I was hungry. So I made myself a plate of about 5 pieces of very thinly sliced deli turkey. And this morning I feel great! Willpower is like a muscle - when you exercise it, it gets stronger. Maybe tonight the conversation will go on for only an hour!
Meanwhile, I had such a busy day - I started with 2 1/2 hours of teaching my belly dance class. I was able to join the gals for part of the drills. It felt so good to dance. I just couldn't do the steps where I my right leg had to bear the weight. That will still take a while. Then I grocery shopped for at least two hours, making a detour to TJMaxx where I bought a new top and some glass Pyrex food storage containers (I'm trying to get away from plastic - it's expensive so I'm just going to get a couple of pieces at a time). ETC. So last night my legs (not just my knees) were just aching. I found one prescription pill from after my surgery (stupid me threw them out because I didn't like them - but one pill escaped) and took that with TWO Advil-PMs and slept really well. THAT coupled with not hating myself this morning feels just SO good.
I really was SO hungry the minute I woke up I grabbed a piece of chicken that was left from dinner last night! I'll call that breakfast unless I make some eggs later. Also having a coffee.
Lunch: Huge salad with olive oil, walnuts, and cut up chicken.
Dinner: I am making brisket with lima beans. I'm REALLY looking forward to that!
My new favorite evening treat (more than the Skinny Cow ice creams I've been having) is a small container of fat free Greek yogurt, walnuts and a spoon of splenda. When I am off Phase 1 I will add 1/2 sliced banana to it.
Moral of the story: Mornings after CAN be good!
Miriam
Friday, November 4, 2011
A scary glimpse into my truth
I had a very frightening glimpse into the truth of MY addiction. I had written that I had some candy on Monday night, but then got rid of the rest of it. OMG - today is the first day that the crawling-up-the-walls cravings have subsided. I'm talking about the feeling of being a caged animal hurdling myself into the bars, with the desire to get my hands on more candy. I went down to the office where I had put the candy and had some. Then had THREE ice creams at night. THEN yesterday stopped for a Wendy's hamburg and french fries (did you know Wendy's french fries are made with sugar?) on the way home AND that wasn't enough so I bought a container of hot and sour soup. THEN I went to CVS to get more candy - I put it on the register and if it had been buy one get one (as I thought) I would have bought two full-sized candy bars. They were buy 2, get 1, and I knew I would eat all three before getting home (and I tried to imagine how sick I would be) so I put them back and walked out. We are also talking white bread and butter (which I haven't had for months). This wasn't a case of a nose-dive because of the "I blew it" phenomenon. This was a deep craving that was absolutely making me scream inside. That is addiction.
I always gave a half-scoffing laugh at "oh I'm addicted to carbs" - but after this extremely frightening experience, I can say really and truly, I must stay away. Not all carbs, and not all sugar all the time. But the pure sugar experience is a path that I cannot go down again. To rid my body of the cravings, the only thing that works is Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. I am not "diet hopping" again, but I know this will rid my body of simple-carb cravings. I plan to do it for the full two weeks; more if I still am dreaming of donuts and candy and white bread with butter.
On the knee front: My brother started PT for his own knees. He was in such agony with the exercises, that his therapist cut him back to 1 set of 12 stretches every OTHER day (instead of two sets of 12 every day). Interesting - now that I heard this from him, I've confirmed that I was overdoing it in the stretching. That's hard to believe because you would think that it would be the exercises other than stretching that could hurt you if you do too much. I am looking forward to getting back on some schedule next week. Maybe a very mild walking and stretching regime - every OTHER day!
Breakfast: Garden Vegetable egg beaters with fat-free American cheese, sliced cucumbers
Lunch: HUGE salad with olive oil and vinegar and sliced turkey breast, and walnuts
Snack: Chicken chunks and Trader Joe's red pepper and artichoke tapenade (no sugar)
Dinner: grilled chicken, salad, steamed green beans and broccoli
Snack: Fat Free mocha ricotta
I am going to do some serious introspection these next two weeks and really reflect upon what happened.
Miriam
I always gave a half-scoffing laugh at "oh I'm addicted to carbs" - but after this extremely frightening experience, I can say really and truly, I must stay away. Not all carbs, and not all sugar all the time. But the pure sugar experience is a path that I cannot go down again. To rid my body of the cravings, the only thing that works is Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet. I am not "diet hopping" again, but I know this will rid my body of simple-carb cravings. I plan to do it for the full two weeks; more if I still am dreaming of donuts and candy and white bread with butter.
On the knee front: My brother started PT for his own knees. He was in such agony with the exercises, that his therapist cut him back to 1 set of 12 stretches every OTHER day (instead of two sets of 12 every day). Interesting - now that I heard this from him, I've confirmed that I was overdoing it in the stretching. That's hard to believe because you would think that it would be the exercises other than stretching that could hurt you if you do too much. I am looking forward to getting back on some schedule next week. Maybe a very mild walking and stretching regime - every OTHER day!
Breakfast: Garden Vegetable egg beaters with fat-free American cheese, sliced cucumbers
Lunch: HUGE salad with olive oil and vinegar and sliced turkey breast, and walnuts
Snack: Chicken chunks and Trader Joe's red pepper and artichoke tapenade (no sugar)
Dinner: grilled chicken, salad, steamed green beans and broccoli
Snack: Fat Free mocha ricotta
I am going to do some serious introspection these next two weeks and really reflect upon what happened.
Miriam
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Identities...
Last night on Oprah's Life Class she ran clips from an original interview with a woman who had come home from a jog in the morning, only to find that her ex-husband had killed her four children and then himself. Not only was she suffering the horrible grief from her loss, but she was lost herself, because her identity was that of MOTHER. She picked a date on the calendar to end her own life, but mothers of her children's friends begged her to reconsider, as their children might follow suit because of their own grief. Oprah had as a guest another woman who had suffered a similar tragedy yet went on, remarried and had children once again. After the show many people wrote in (and circumstances documented and validated by the production staff) that this was the day they chose for themselves but after seeing the story, they realized that they must go on and find new meaning to their lives. Fast forward 3 years: This woman had found love, remarried and was blessed with twins. One of the stories: One can rise from the ashes of their own lives.
I listen to books on CD during my commute and just that very morning one of the lines was: "Until you have visited a pediatric ward at a Shriner's hospital (specializing in burn treatment), you don't know that YOU have no problems." It was interesting to me that I got a double dose of this message - both on my book and again at night on Oprah's show. There was some residual upset over what had transpired for me last week, and right there, on the spot, I let it go. However, that being said, I have a friend who was permanently damaged in a car accident which also killed her fiance. One day my knees were particularly bothering me and I stopped myself from complaining in front of her. She said to me -" My pain is my pain, and your pain is your pain. My pain does not lessen yours." No, but it puts it in perspective.
The other lesson I took from last night's show was that you cannot let your past define your future. So, relating this to dieting (in my life it seems that all roads lead to dieting!), I was thinking about the Halloween candy situation. I did go and put it all in a shopping bag and bring it out to my car and handed it over to the keeper of the department's candy dish. Old me? NEVER. Another new thing (and a NSV): I had brought salad today for lunch, but they are (now at this moment!) putting out a spread for a staff lunch. Old me: Eat what I brought AND raid the lunch, taking more up to my office to eat in private. New me? I ate what I brought and I'm not even going to LOOK at the spread!
Breakfast: Tried something sort of new because I am out of LC cheese, but it was too much work because of the huge hole in the bagel: Bagel pizzas: (3) I am going to try it again with a "deli flat" or something with no holes! Coffee (2)
Lunch: Salad with oil, 4 oz turkey, popcorn (7)
Snack: apple, cheese stick, almonds (4)
Dinner: chicken cutlet (5), broccoli and beets, chard soup
Snack: yogurt, banana, walnuts (3)
Total: 24
Please - if you can catch Oprah's Life Class, I haven't been disappointed yet - even when, by the previews of a particular episode, I thought I would be!
Miriam
I listen to books on CD during my commute and just that very morning one of the lines was: "Until you have visited a pediatric ward at a Shriner's hospital (specializing in burn treatment), you don't know that YOU have no problems." It was interesting to me that I got a double dose of this message - both on my book and again at night on Oprah's show. There was some residual upset over what had transpired for me last week, and right there, on the spot, I let it go. However, that being said, I have a friend who was permanently damaged in a car accident which also killed her fiance. One day my knees were particularly bothering me and I stopped myself from complaining in front of her. She said to me -" My pain is my pain, and your pain is your pain. My pain does not lessen yours." No, but it puts it in perspective.
The other lesson I took from last night's show was that you cannot let your past define your future. So, relating this to dieting (in my life it seems that all roads lead to dieting!), I was thinking about the Halloween candy situation. I did go and put it all in a shopping bag and bring it out to my car and handed it over to the keeper of the department's candy dish. Old me? NEVER. Another new thing (and a NSV): I had brought salad today for lunch, but they are (now at this moment!) putting out a spread for a staff lunch. Old me: Eat what I brought AND raid the lunch, taking more up to my office to eat in private. New me? I ate what I brought and I'm not even going to LOOK at the spread!
Breakfast: Tried something sort of new because I am out of LC cheese, but it was too much work because of the huge hole in the bagel: Bagel pizzas: (3) I am going to try it again with a "deli flat" or something with no holes! Coffee (2)
Lunch: Salad with oil, 4 oz turkey, popcorn (7)
Snack: apple, cheese stick, almonds (4)
Dinner: chicken cutlet (5), broccoli and beets, chard soup
Snack: yogurt, banana, walnuts (3)
Total: 24
Please - if you can catch Oprah's Life Class, I haven't been disappointed yet - even when, by the previews of a particular episode, I thought I would be!
Miriam
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
So much candy... so little control
I was so careful this year. I didn't buy any candy until coming home at around 6PM. We hardly ever have trick-or-treaters so I bought one large back of snack-sized M&Ms. Truth be told, I would have been happy to sit in the dark with the lights out, but I didn't want to embarrass my son, who has, on occasion, bought full sized candy bars to give out.
So I'm pulling into the driveway and there is my husband pulling in as well. He took the night off because business was slow, and he, knowing my penchant for not buying Halloween candy, bought tons of it himself. So here we are with about 150 pieces of candy (and good stuff, too) and only 4 kids who rang the bell.
Sigh... about 10PM things got the better of me and I picked out a bunch of my favorites. I figured the damage was minimal because I only ate it for about 15 minutes. (Don't be impressed - it only took me that long to get through a dozen snack-sized various candies.) My intention is to bring the rest to work to give to the gal who keeps a candy dish on her desk. I should have just dumped it all in a shopping bag as I headed out the door - but I was in a rush and didn't give it too much thought until just now. When I get home tonight I am going to put it all in the trunk of my car so it's out of the house.
On the knee front: I heard from a friend who is 10 months out from her surgery and she had the same experience that I did - she did too much, had a setback but now she's on the mend again. She admonished me to not push my body because it will just push back. Well put. I'm dying to resume my walking, but this has been my first good week in almost a month, so I will see out the week without doing anything. Maybe Monday I'll start again - but scale way back to what I had been doing. This is a shout-out to Sandy if she's reading this (another TKR friend who had a setback): I love that you say you are "in training" for your WDW trip - that's just the way *I* feel - but YOU be careful too!
I find that I'm not connected to my tracking when I post it on the computer. I'll still do it because I don't mind feedback if anyone thinks that changes would be "profitable" but I am going to return to paper tracking. It's also easier to make changes as the day goes on. What I enter here is more my INTENTION of what I plan to eat - by the time I go to bed, things may have changed (but hopefully always within Points).
Breakfast: WW bagel, LC cheese, coffee (6)
Lunch: I'm done for now with my foray into sandwiches and am going to go back to putting my protein in my salad - it gives me an extra ounce, too - which is better than the Point spent on the bread:
Salad w/olive oil, 4 oz turkey breast, popcorn (7)
Snack: apple, cheese, almonds (4)
Dinner: Chicken cutlet (5), broccoli, beets
Snack: yogurt, 1/2 banana, 1 tbs walnuts (3)
Total: 25
Notice: no candy
Have a great day and I hope not too many of you are suffering a candy hangover!
Miriam
So I'm pulling into the driveway and there is my husband pulling in as well. He took the night off because business was slow, and he, knowing my penchant for not buying Halloween candy, bought tons of it himself. So here we are with about 150 pieces of candy (and good stuff, too) and only 4 kids who rang the bell.
Sigh... about 10PM things got the better of me and I picked out a bunch of my favorites. I figured the damage was minimal because I only ate it for about 15 minutes. (Don't be impressed - it only took me that long to get through a dozen snack-sized various candies.) My intention is to bring the rest to work to give to the gal who keeps a candy dish on her desk. I should have just dumped it all in a shopping bag as I headed out the door - but I was in a rush and didn't give it too much thought until just now. When I get home tonight I am going to put it all in the trunk of my car so it's out of the house.
On the knee front: I heard from a friend who is 10 months out from her surgery and she had the same experience that I did - she did too much, had a setback but now she's on the mend again. She admonished me to not push my body because it will just push back. Well put. I'm dying to resume my walking, but this has been my first good week in almost a month, so I will see out the week without doing anything. Maybe Monday I'll start again - but scale way back to what I had been doing. This is a shout-out to Sandy if she's reading this (another TKR friend who had a setback): I love that you say you are "in training" for your WDW trip - that's just the way *I* feel - but YOU be careful too!
I find that I'm not connected to my tracking when I post it on the computer. I'll still do it because I don't mind feedback if anyone thinks that changes would be "profitable" but I am going to return to paper tracking. It's also easier to make changes as the day goes on. What I enter here is more my INTENTION of what I plan to eat - by the time I go to bed, things may have changed (but hopefully always within Points).
Breakfast: WW bagel, LC cheese, coffee (6)
Lunch: I'm done for now with my foray into sandwiches and am going to go back to putting my protein in my salad - it gives me an extra ounce, too - which is better than the Point spent on the bread:
Salad w/olive oil, 4 oz turkey breast, popcorn (7)
Snack: apple, cheese, almonds (4)
Dinner: Chicken cutlet (5), broccoli, beets
Snack: yogurt, 1/2 banana, 1 tbs walnuts (3)
Total: 25
Notice: no candy
Have a great day and I hope not too many of you are suffering a candy hangover!
Miriam
Monday, October 31, 2011
Finally! A no-drama day
And boy was it nice! We lost power in the storm Saturday night - but were one of the lucky ones - still thousands of homes in the area still without. In the morning we made plans to spend the day at my brother's house but when our power came back on at 11AM we decided to stay close to home... there were 3 or 4 football games piggybacking on one another and my husband preferred not to spend an hour on the road getting home between them (or staying until 9 or 10PM until they were over). Fine by me!
I was actually dressed and ready to bolt (I always go out on Sunday afternoons during football), but every time I gathered my keys and my purse and went to the head of the stairs I just went back into bed. This happened 4 or 5 times until I finally just took my shoes off and called it a day. I realized that I DESERVED to stay home and rest and do NOTHING. I did make a huge pot of 15-bean soup, but all my grocery shopping had been done for the week, and my husband was going out to get dinner and make it besides (we had swordfish, fingerling potatoes, string beans and salad).
I felt that I should be doing something - like planning the week's meals, cleaning, laundry,read, something! I did change the kitty litter - but even my husband went out and got it for me because I didn't get it on Saturday. Anyway, I spent the day in bed watching a SVU marathon. I still can't believe that's all I did. Not only was there no family drama with regard to anything, but there were no obligations to be met (well besides changing the poor thing's kitty litter) or things to do. Believe me - it wasn't boring at all - it was quite delightful, indeed.
I just have one question: I'm a great believer in the "This too shall pass" outlook on life, and I would like to know WHY I get sucked into drama - when there is nothing I can do about it and when I KNOW it will pass. This time around it passed in record time - maybe 4 days. WHY do I do that to myself?????
I was going to go to the gym to use the hot tub today for my stretching, but I have a small compartmental swelling that was bothering me this morning (that's probably the last thing to go away) - I figured I needed ice and not a soak in 100+ degree water. I'm starting to wonder whether - although it feels GREAT - if it would be better to nix the hot tub soaks/stretches... I wonder if that is hampering or helping. Can you believe I am STILL trying to figure things out????
Breakfast: WW bagel and 2 wedges LC cheese. I changed up the sliced tomatoes though, and sprinkled on zatar (a middle eastern spice) and put fresh cucumbers; coffee (6)
Lunch: Ham sandwich on WW rye bread with salad/olive oil; popcorn (7)
Snack: apple, string cheese, almonds (4)
Dinner: steamed veggies (I have a "medley" of carrots, broccoli and string beans that I"ll steam)
chicken Parmesan: Baked chicken cutlet (4) with 1/2 cup sauce (1) and Parmesan cheese (1)
Snack: Greek yogurt, 1/2 banana, 1 tbs walnuts (3)
Total" 26 - 1 over but that's okay by me :)
I was actually dressed and ready to bolt (I always go out on Sunday afternoons during football), but every time I gathered my keys and my purse and went to the head of the stairs I just went back into bed. This happened 4 or 5 times until I finally just took my shoes off and called it a day. I realized that I DESERVED to stay home and rest and do NOTHING. I did make a huge pot of 15-bean soup, but all my grocery shopping had been done for the week, and my husband was going out to get dinner and make it besides (we had swordfish, fingerling potatoes, string beans and salad).
I felt that I should be doing something - like planning the week's meals, cleaning, laundry,read, something! I did change the kitty litter - but even my husband went out and got it for me because I didn't get it on Saturday. Anyway, I spent the day in bed watching a SVU marathon. I still can't believe that's all I did. Not only was there no family drama with regard to anything, but there were no obligations to be met (well besides changing the poor thing's kitty litter) or things to do. Believe me - it wasn't boring at all - it was quite delightful, indeed.
I just have one question: I'm a great believer in the "This too shall pass" outlook on life, and I would like to know WHY I get sucked into drama - when there is nothing I can do about it and when I KNOW it will pass. This time around it passed in record time - maybe 4 days. WHY do I do that to myself?????
I was going to go to the gym to use the hot tub today for my stretching, but I have a small compartmental swelling that was bothering me this morning (that's probably the last thing to go away) - I figured I needed ice and not a soak in 100+ degree water. I'm starting to wonder whether - although it feels GREAT - if it would be better to nix the hot tub soaks/stretches... I wonder if that is hampering or helping. Can you believe I am STILL trying to figure things out????
Breakfast: WW bagel and 2 wedges LC cheese. I changed up the sliced tomatoes though, and sprinkled on zatar (a middle eastern spice) and put fresh cucumbers; coffee (6)
Lunch: Ham sandwich on WW rye bread with salad/olive oil; popcorn (7)
Snack: apple, string cheese, almonds (4)
Dinner: steamed veggies (I have a "medley" of carrots, broccoli and string beans that I"ll steam)
chicken Parmesan: Baked chicken cutlet (4) with 1/2 cup sauce (1) and Parmesan cheese (1)
Snack: Greek yogurt, 1/2 banana, 1 tbs walnuts (3)
Total" 26 - 1 over but that's okay by me :)
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Meanderings at the Deli Counter
Thought I could take a break from tremendously deep thinking (oh - don't worry - you'll get my thoughts "Joy Rising" Oprah class - maybe tomorrow!) but couldn't escape doing SOME thinking as you will see.
So I go to the grocery store after my class this morning (someone had asked what class I take - I don't take a class, I actually teach belly dancing... and in today's advanced class we were talking about confidence... and something very poignant came up and I was thinking "WWOS" - what would Oprah say? lol -- I dug deep and found the words and my student had an "aha moment" which brought her to tears. Very moving, indeed). ...
I digress... back to the supermarket. So - there are huge crowds (which only happen before hurricanes, snowstorms and Thanksgiving - so when I went home I checked weather.com and indeed, there is a snow storm coming) and it took SO long for my number to come up at the deli. I went to get 1 lb skinless turkey breast and 1 lb Thin and Trim ham. There is SO much time before my turn that I start looking at everything else. I mentally started adding things to my list. I was going to get some herring in wine - an absolutely favorite thing of mine - PLUS I had just read yesterday that it's a great choice for Omega-3, and it's low in points. Then I was thinking about getting pepperoni - after all, tomorrow is a football Sunday so I started running Sunday afternoon football snack recipes in my head - if I get the pepperoni, I can make little pizzas on sliced french bread or pizzas or antipasto or any number of things. Well, if I'm going to get the pepperoni and I did just buy apples at another store- so why not get Castello cheese (it's like a creamy blue cheese and my husband's favorite) which my husband eats with apples. Hmm... the coleslaw looks good and now they have an edemame salad too. But back to the herring... how much should I get.
So this entire conversation, and party menu planning is going on in my head. My number is up next (I was 67 and it was only in the 40s when I got to the counter). So I think to myself - that's what I enjoy about WW - you can eat ANYTHING.... you just can't eat it all at the same time. Nor all you want of everything. My number was called - I'll have a pound of the turkey breast and a pound of the ham please. Anything else? No thank you. And I walked away. If I don't buy it I won't have it in the house and I won't have to make tough decisions about having this OR that. And if I limit the choice confusion I do so much better. Yes, I could have gotten the herring, and even have gotten the pepperoni and figure out all the points for all the dishes I could produce for the football game. But honestly, my husband is just as happy with a couple of bagels and I am much better with a stable lunch, and I don't need scads of leftovers facing me all week.
It was just a very interesting conversation in my head. At least I hope it was only in my head. When my kids point out I'm talking to myself I always say - yes - and it's the best conversation I've had all week!
Breakfast: Flat out bread (need to get some more), 2 LC cheese, tomatoes (3)
Lunch: 3 oz chicken, 8 oz potatoes (both leftover from dinner last night), beets, left over green veggies (6)
"Snack": Dunkin Donuts hot coffee with cream (3)
Dinner: 2 oz (dry) whole wheat pasta with Muir Glen garden vegetable pasta sauce (5)
Salad with 2 tsp olive oil (2)
Snack: banana "ice cream" (frozen banana whipped up like ice cream) with 1 tbs walnuts (3)
3 points left over - not sure how I'll spend them.
Lesson: The best conversations in your head are the ones where you talk yourself out of potentially doing very foolish things.
Miriam
So I go to the grocery store after my class this morning (someone had asked what class I take - I don't take a class, I actually teach belly dancing... and in today's advanced class we were talking about confidence... and something very poignant came up and I was thinking "WWOS" - what would Oprah say? lol -- I dug deep and found the words and my student had an "aha moment" which brought her to tears. Very moving, indeed). ...
I digress... back to the supermarket. So - there are huge crowds (which only happen before hurricanes, snowstorms and Thanksgiving - so when I went home I checked weather.com and indeed, there is a snow storm coming) and it took SO long for my number to come up at the deli. I went to get 1 lb skinless turkey breast and 1 lb Thin and Trim ham. There is SO much time before my turn that I start looking at everything else. I mentally started adding things to my list. I was going to get some herring in wine - an absolutely favorite thing of mine - PLUS I had just read yesterday that it's a great choice for Omega-3, and it's low in points. Then I was thinking about getting pepperoni - after all, tomorrow is a football Sunday so I started running Sunday afternoon football snack recipes in my head - if I get the pepperoni, I can make little pizzas on sliced french bread or pizzas or antipasto or any number of things. Well, if I'm going to get the pepperoni and I did just buy apples at another store- so why not get Castello cheese (it's like a creamy blue cheese and my husband's favorite) which my husband eats with apples. Hmm... the coleslaw looks good and now they have an edemame salad too. But back to the herring... how much should I get.
So this entire conversation, and party menu planning is going on in my head. My number is up next (I was 67 and it was only in the 40s when I got to the counter). So I think to myself - that's what I enjoy about WW - you can eat ANYTHING.... you just can't eat it all at the same time. Nor all you want of everything. My number was called - I'll have a pound of the turkey breast and a pound of the ham please. Anything else? No thank you. And I walked away. If I don't buy it I won't have it in the house and I won't have to make tough decisions about having this OR that. And if I limit the choice confusion I do so much better. Yes, I could have gotten the herring, and even have gotten the pepperoni and figure out all the points for all the dishes I could produce for the football game. But honestly, my husband is just as happy with a couple of bagels and I am much better with a stable lunch, and I don't need scads of leftovers facing me all week.
It was just a very interesting conversation in my head. At least I hope it was only in my head. When my kids point out I'm talking to myself I always say - yes - and it's the best conversation I've had all week!
Breakfast: Flat out bread (need to get some more), 2 LC cheese, tomatoes (3)
Lunch: 3 oz chicken, 8 oz potatoes (both leftover from dinner last night), beets, left over green veggies (6)
"Snack": Dunkin Donuts hot coffee with cream (3)
Dinner: 2 oz (dry) whole wheat pasta with Muir Glen garden vegetable pasta sauce (5)
Salad with 2 tsp olive oil (2)
Snack: banana "ice cream" (frozen banana whipped up like ice cream) with 1 tbs walnuts (3)
3 points left over - not sure how I'll spend them.
Lesson: The best conversations in your head are the ones where you talk yourself out of potentially doing very foolish things.
Miriam
Friday, October 28, 2011
Breathe.....
Okay - so just as I thought I had squelched that negative energy flow into my life it started again this morning. Do you ever get the feeling that your life is like hanging on a cliff by your fingernails? That's what it felt like my whole drive in to work this morning. I just want ONE day without anxiety, anger, sadness, disappointment, and guilt. I want to live one day BLANK. I'd settle for not even happiness and satisfaction. I just want a blank slate. HOWEVER, I wasn't in physical pain this morning! :) lol --- Jan - I took Aleve instead of Advil and I don't know whether it's that or cutting out a lot of inflammatory foods (like sugar and dairy), but I'll take it. Oh why can't I have it all? No physical pain and no emotional pain.
But on my drive in, during all this turmoil, I was thinking that my food intake is the ONE thing that I have control over. I think when there is loss of control in one's life that we have to hang on to any life raft that floats by. By eating out of control that's just one MORE thing that's out of control. I'm hanging on to my food plan like a life raft these days. My "usual" way to handle things was: "Oh heck, everything is upside down, I can't concentrate on my food plan right now, it's not a priority, comfort food isn't called comfort food for no reason." But my NEW way to look at is, I have been given this life raft to hold on to. It's the one thing I CAN control, where my decisions DO count, where there IS a reward for holding on." So to that end, I stopped in a the supermarket and made a salad at the salad bar because I had run out of lettuce this morning.
Breakfast: Flat-out pita bread (1 at 1 pt) with 2 LC cheese, tomatoes and coffee (5)
Lunch: Salad with 2 tsp olive oil and vinegar, 2 pitas + 4 oz turkey (8)
Popcorn (1)
Snack: apple, cheese, almonds (4)
Dinner: Brussels sprouts and asparagus (these are appearing so often because I hadn't made them on a couple of nights that I said I would)
Fingerling potatoes (8 oz for 3 points) (3)
Protein (don't know whether hubby is getting chicken or fish): (4)
Total: (25)
Have a great day and .... breathe!
Miriam
But on my drive in, during all this turmoil, I was thinking that my food intake is the ONE thing that I have control over. I think when there is loss of control in one's life that we have to hang on to any life raft that floats by. By eating out of control that's just one MORE thing that's out of control. I'm hanging on to my food plan like a life raft these days. My "usual" way to handle things was: "Oh heck, everything is upside down, I can't concentrate on my food plan right now, it's not a priority, comfort food isn't called comfort food for no reason." But my NEW way to look at is, I have been given this life raft to hold on to. It's the one thing I CAN control, where my decisions DO count, where there IS a reward for holding on." So to that end, I stopped in a the supermarket and made a salad at the salad bar because I had run out of lettuce this morning.
Breakfast: Flat-out pita bread (1 at 1 pt) with 2 LC cheese, tomatoes and coffee (5)
Lunch: Salad with 2 tsp olive oil and vinegar, 2 pitas + 4 oz turkey (8)
Popcorn (1)
Snack: apple, cheese, almonds (4)
Dinner: Brussels sprouts and asparagus (these are appearing so often because I hadn't made them on a couple of nights that I said I would)
Fingerling potatoes (8 oz for 3 points) (3)
Protein (don't know whether hubby is getting chicken or fish): (4)
Total: (25)
Have a great day and .... breathe!
Miriam
Thursday, October 27, 2011
The flow of energy
Another Oprah Life class moment (sorry - but they are REALLY good): We are responsible not only for the energy that we give out, but also for what we allow in. This means that we can't control someone else's energy, but what we can do is decide to let it in or not. Something happened last night (just before dinner) that was very sad and unhappy, and I thought of that lesson. Normally I would eat like crazy (not tasting or enjoying anything at all) in order to either digest the energy into my own being, or to set up a block so that I wouldn't. Instead, I just sat quietly with the energy and thought about how I could get sucked in or let it go. All during this time I actually had NO appetite (very interesting... I wonder how often I have no appetite in such a situation but eat out of habit anyway) and thought I would go to bed without dinner. I try not to eat after 7, and imagined that I would not see my next meal until breakfast.
But instead, as I sat quietly with the emotions, and thinking about how I do not have to let the energy of the situation become MY energy, my appetite slowly returned and I enjoyed a nice dinner. Not what I had set out to eat, but with in the same exact points that I had allowed myself. Not a bit more or less.
I woke up this morning with a little less of a heavy heart than I went to bed with, and although I am still sad, most of the negative energy has dissipated with no damage to my eating plan. I realized that I can acknowledge an emotion but I do not have to be enveloped in it (unless I want to - like happiness!). I had something else that piggybacked on this - disappointment at the scale. I've changed my weigh-in day from Sunday to Thursday to keep in line with a Thanksgiving challenge. There was no loss, and I just looked at it, and instead of ditching the diet because, after all, if I haven't lost weight after being so "perfect" then what's the point... (but I remembered yesterday's lesson of not throwing out the baby with the bathwater) so I just planned out my day and went on with breakfast.
I also put my pain in perspective. My husband happened to be up this morning while I was getting ready for work and he saw me limping and wincing. He said that he thought the surgery was supposed to stop all that. But since I wanted to defend my choice to have surgery I broke into the spiel about how it takes 6 months to a year to start to feel normal again. Then I counted back to my surgery and said it's only been 5 months (this week) since the surgery, and since I had a manipulation one month out, technically, I have to start counting my recovery from that - which would make it only four months since the surgery. I also pointed out that the pain isn't where the surgery fixed, it's a side-effect of the surgery (general swelling and leg pain) and that the reason my left leg hurts so much is probably because it always hurt me, but I never noticed it because the right knee was so bad - and now that it's better I'm noticing it more. Once I got done giving the speech to my husband *I* felt better! lol - put things into a more realistic perspective for me. Yes, I'm in pain every single day, and I am limited in what I would like to do... but heck... I'm only a third of the way there!
Breakfast: Same as usual: bagel, LC cheese, tomatoes, coffee (6)
Lunch: 3 oz lite pastrami, 2 slices WW bread, popcorn, salad with oil (7)
Snack: apple, cheese, nuts (4)
Dinner: brussels sprouts, asparagus
Don't know yet: (6)
Snack: Ice cream truffle (1)
Have a great, positive energy day!
Miriam
But instead, as I sat quietly with the emotions, and thinking about how I do not have to let the energy of the situation become MY energy, my appetite slowly returned and I enjoyed a nice dinner. Not what I had set out to eat, but with in the same exact points that I had allowed myself. Not a bit more or less.
I woke up this morning with a little less of a heavy heart than I went to bed with, and although I am still sad, most of the negative energy has dissipated with no damage to my eating plan. I realized that I can acknowledge an emotion but I do not have to be enveloped in it (unless I want to - like happiness!). I had something else that piggybacked on this - disappointment at the scale. I've changed my weigh-in day from Sunday to Thursday to keep in line with a Thanksgiving challenge. There was no loss, and I just looked at it, and instead of ditching the diet because, after all, if I haven't lost weight after being so "perfect" then what's the point... (but I remembered yesterday's lesson of not throwing out the baby with the bathwater) so I just planned out my day and went on with breakfast.
I also put my pain in perspective. My husband happened to be up this morning while I was getting ready for work and he saw me limping and wincing. He said that he thought the surgery was supposed to stop all that. But since I wanted to defend my choice to have surgery I broke into the spiel about how it takes 6 months to a year to start to feel normal again. Then I counted back to my surgery and said it's only been 5 months (this week) since the surgery, and since I had a manipulation one month out, technically, I have to start counting my recovery from that - which would make it only four months since the surgery. I also pointed out that the pain isn't where the surgery fixed, it's a side-effect of the surgery (general swelling and leg pain) and that the reason my left leg hurts so much is probably because it always hurt me, but I never noticed it because the right knee was so bad - and now that it's better I'm noticing it more. Once I got done giving the speech to my husband *I* felt better! lol - put things into a more realistic perspective for me. Yes, I'm in pain every single day, and I am limited in what I would like to do... but heck... I'm only a third of the way there!
Breakfast: Same as usual: bagel, LC cheese, tomatoes, coffee (6)
Lunch: 3 oz lite pastrami, 2 slices WW bread, popcorn, salad with oil (7)
Snack: apple, cheese, nuts (4)
Dinner: brussels sprouts, asparagus
Don't know yet: (6)
Snack: Ice cream truffle (1)
Have a great, positive energy day!
Miriam
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday and letting go
Another very valuable lesson from Oprah's Life Class has been the concept of not letting your past define who you are now. I took that to heart because I realize a lot of my overeating behavior is mainly habit. I ALWAYS eat like crazy the whole rest of the day because I've had one piece of candy corn at 2 in the afternoon. Why not? I wasn't perfect so the whole day (then the rest of the week and/or month) is shot. How much of it is that the one piece of candy (or anything) triggers some physical thing that results in a downfall, and how much of it is habit? "I've always been this way so this is the way I am now." The definition of my past self was: I am the person who, if she strays one morsel from a food plan, then, since I allow myself no wiggle room, I have to totally ditch the program until at least the following Monday. If this happens on a Monday, then oh well - I'll just wait till the first Monday of the next week or month. Mostly month." So I ate according to my food plan (below) AND I had about 5 candy corns at 2PM. Hmm... the old me would have stopped for Chinese food on the way home - because... what the heck.... but the new me is going to have exactly what I have planned for dinner!
On the knee front - I am just so uncomfortable. I called my orthopedist's office today and one of their branches has an entire Eastern Medicine practice: Reiki, massage, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, etc. I am waiting for a call from the massage therapist. I've pinpointed that the worst of my left leg pain comes from tightness in the muscles, even though I am doing a really good job of stretching. I think the discomfort in the operated leg could also benefit from a massage. So, I'm biting the bullet and paying out of pocket for something that I feel I really really need. Hey - what I'm saving by not buying Chinese food on the way home should pay for it!
Breakfast: WW bagel, 2 wedges of LC cheese, sliced tomato, coffee (6)
Lunch: 2 1pt whole wheat tortillas with 4 oz turkey breast (6)
salad with dressing (2)
Snack: apple, string cheese, almonds (4)
Dinner: Asparagus, Brussels sprouts
1 can of tuna fish with 1 tbs lite mayo (3)
Butternut squash (2)
Snack: 1/2 banana with Greek Yogurt (2)
Total: 25
Be all that you can be TODAY - not who you were yesterday.
Miriam
On the knee front - I am just so uncomfortable. I called my orthopedist's office today and one of their branches has an entire Eastern Medicine practice: Reiki, massage, acupuncture, Chinese herbs, etc. I am waiting for a call from the massage therapist. I've pinpointed that the worst of my left leg pain comes from tightness in the muscles, even though I am doing a really good job of stretching. I think the discomfort in the operated leg could also benefit from a massage. So, I'm biting the bullet and paying out of pocket for something that I feel I really really need. Hey - what I'm saving by not buying Chinese food on the way home should pay for it!
Breakfast: WW bagel, 2 wedges of LC cheese, sliced tomato, coffee (6)
Lunch: 2 1pt whole wheat tortillas with 4 oz turkey breast (6)
salad with dressing (2)
Snack: apple, string cheese, almonds (4)
Dinner: Asparagus, Brussels sprouts
1 can of tuna fish with 1 tbs lite mayo (3)
Butternut squash (2)
Snack: 1/2 banana with Greek Yogurt (2)
Total: 25
Be all that you can be TODAY - not who you were yesterday.
Miriam
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Tuesday - Whispers
Did anyone see Oprah's Life Class last night? It was on listening to whispers before a pile of bricks needs to fall on you to get your attention. Although every single one of her classes has produced an "Aha moment" for me this was the one that absolutely hit me on the head. For weeks my body has been whispering: "stretch and lose weight." My ton of bricks was in the form of sending me to the doctor last week because I was afraid that I had a blood clot or that my implant had shifted. I had been in so much pain and discomfort - not felt since about a month out of surgery. All this time my body has been whispering: "Stretch. Lose weight." Well, after last night's show I find that today I am fitting in stretches wherever I can. For instance, when I get up for the bathroom I add a few stretches. I am more committed than I have ever been to following a weight loss program. I don't want the next ton of bricks to have the message - "Too late. This is how you will have to live."
Breakfast: WW Bagel and 2 wedges of LC cheese with tomato slices (4)
1/2 cup of coffee (1)
cactus pear (1)
Lunch: 3 oz turkey, 2 slices WW bread, lettuce (4)
salad w/2 tsp olive oil (2)
popcorn (1)
Snack: Apple,string cheese, and almonds (4)
Dinner: Primavera sauce (3)
Butternut squash (2) and asparagus
Snack: Skinny Cow Ice cream cone (3)
By the way: JAN: The truffle I've been having is an ice cream (like a whipped fudge bar) not their candy
Total: (25)
Since I've joined a Thanksgiving challenge my weigh-in day will be Thursdays. I'm actually looking forward to it!
Have a great day and listen to your whispers!
Miriam
Breakfast: WW Bagel and 2 wedges of LC cheese with tomato slices (4)
1/2 cup of coffee (1)
cactus pear (1)
Lunch: 3 oz turkey, 2 slices WW bread, lettuce (4)
salad w/2 tsp olive oil (2)
popcorn (1)
Snack: Apple,string cheese, and almonds (4)
Dinner: Primavera sauce (3)
Butternut squash (2) and asparagus
Snack: Skinny Cow Ice cream cone (3)
By the way: JAN: The truffle I've been having is an ice cream (like a whipped fudge bar) not their candy
Total: (25)
Since I've joined a Thanksgiving challenge my weigh-in day will be Thursdays. I'm actually looking forward to it!
Have a great day and listen to your whispers!
Miriam
Monday, October 24, 2011
Monday :)
I like Mondays. I know most people use the funny icons that signal "Monday...again?" and that sort of thing, but I love them. I wish I had Mondays off to recover from busy weekends (that's when I do all my household "chores" so I'm tired, not rested, by Sunday night) but I like the new beginnings. Every day is a new beginning, but Mondays especially.
Breakfast: WW bagel and 2 wedges of LC cheese (4)
Sliced tomatoes
Coffee with real cream (2) - coffee wasn't so satisfying this morning - my husband makes it from grinding beans, and sometimes just one bean too many or too little will tip the scales as to whether I like the coffee or not. Why not make it myself you ask? I decided, more than 30 years ago that I would never learn to make coffee - at least it's ONE thing that I won't be asked to do. Sort of falls under the category of your kid asking for puppy and promising to take care of it, but the mother is the one walking it at 4AM on a snowy morning.
Lunch: 3 oz turkey on 2 slices of WW rye bread (4)
Salad with 2 tsp oil (2)
Mini-bag of lite microwaved popcorn (1)
Snack: Apple (1)
WW string cheese (1) - I just found a smoked flavor - can't wait to try it.
Dinner: Chicken Primavera sauce with 2 oz (dry measure) whole wheat shells: (6)
1 1/2 cup butternut squash casserole (2)
Brussels sprouts, asparagus (0)
Snack: Skinny Cow chocolate truffle (1) OMG these are SO good
Total: 24 - I should have squeezed in another fruit - since I am writing this in the morning before I've actually eaten, I might make an executive decision to nix the butternut squash because I am having pasta (but OMG - this isn't just plain butternut squash - it's a recipe made with red onions and garam masala) and have another fruit instead.
I just got an email that my membership to blog-to-lose was accepted! I'm looking forward to getting to meet people there. WAVING HELLO!!
Have a great day everyone:
Miriam
Breakfast: WW bagel and 2 wedges of LC cheese (4)
Sliced tomatoes
Coffee with real cream (2) - coffee wasn't so satisfying this morning - my husband makes it from grinding beans, and sometimes just one bean too many or too little will tip the scales as to whether I like the coffee or not. Why not make it myself you ask? I decided, more than 30 years ago that I would never learn to make coffee - at least it's ONE thing that I won't be asked to do. Sort of falls under the category of your kid asking for puppy and promising to take care of it, but the mother is the one walking it at 4AM on a snowy morning.
Lunch: 3 oz turkey on 2 slices of WW rye bread (4)
Salad with 2 tsp oil (2)
Mini-bag of lite microwaved popcorn (1)
Snack: Apple (1)
WW string cheese (1) - I just found a smoked flavor - can't wait to try it.
Dinner: Chicken Primavera sauce with 2 oz (dry measure) whole wheat shells: (6)
1 1/2 cup butternut squash casserole (2)
Brussels sprouts, asparagus (0)
Snack: Skinny Cow chocolate truffle (1) OMG these are SO good
Total: 24 - I should have squeezed in another fruit - since I am writing this in the morning before I've actually eaten, I might make an executive decision to nix the butternut squash because I am having pasta (but OMG - this isn't just plain butternut squash - it's a recipe made with red onions and garam masala) and have another fruit instead.
I just got an email that my membership to blog-to-lose was accepted! I'm looking forward to getting to meet people there. WAVING HELLO!!
Have a great day everyone:
Miriam
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Shopping excursion
My husband and I took a drive out to see the new Wegman's supermarket - about 20 miles from our house but we wanted to see what the fuss is all about. Personally, I wouldn't go there again. It was so overwhelming and I didn't find the prices to be that great. No only that, all their effort was put into the outside aisles - the fresh deli and meat counters, cheese counters, produce, etc. and I found the inside aisles with regular groceries to be very depressing and dark - just, in general, not a place I would ever shop even if it were in my own neighborhood. After spending $89, however, we returned home with still nothing for dinner. Then I went to our usual store, but I was so shopped out nothing appealed to me so the rest of the family is getting either left overs or grilled cheese sandwiches and I will have some lentil soup and maybe a tuna sandwich.... as I work out my points below I'll decide....
Breakfast: WW bagel + 2 wedges of lite LC cheese (4)
Coffee with 2 TBS cream (2 - and worth every Point!)
Tomato slices
Lunch: 6 ounces of chicken (6)
2 large carrots (in desperate need of crunching!)
--- I ate this standing over the sink the minute we walked in from the grocery store. I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around having an actual meal! I figured it was smarter to grab some chicken than bread, snacks, or even fruit. It held me well until dinner so it was a good choice after all. :)
Dinner: 4 ounces lean deli ham (4)
4 slices WW rye bread (2)
Sliced tomatoes, lettuce
, Banana peppers
Lentil soup (4)
(Two sandwiches is what happens when no "real" dinner meal is planned. I'll live. :) )
Snacks 2 fruits (2)
Skinny Cow chocolate truffle (1)
Total: 25
Best surprise today: WW bagels are only TWO points on the old program :)
On the knee front: I used the scooter today at Wegman's. I never EVER could have walked it - and even at that, I am now resting, iced and elevated. I really am so set back in my recovery I think sometimes (when I'm in a pity party mode) that I shall never catch up and be well. I am just praying that a weight loss will make things better for me.
Miriam
Breakfast: WW bagel + 2 wedges of lite LC cheese (4)
Coffee with 2 TBS cream (2 - and worth every Point!)
Tomato slices
Lunch: 6 ounces of chicken (6)
2 large carrots (in desperate need of crunching!)
--- I ate this standing over the sink the minute we walked in from the grocery store. I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around having an actual meal! I figured it was smarter to grab some chicken than bread, snacks, or even fruit. It held me well until dinner so it was a good choice after all. :)
Dinner: 4 ounces lean deli ham (4)
4 slices WW rye bread (2)
Sliced tomatoes, lettuce
, Banana peppers
Lentil soup (4)
(Two sandwiches is what happens when no "real" dinner meal is planned. I'll live. :) )
Snacks 2 fruits (2)
Skinny Cow chocolate truffle (1)
Total: 25
Best surprise today: WW bagels are only TWO points on the old program :)
On the knee front: I used the scooter today at Wegman's. I never EVER could have walked it - and even at that, I am now resting, iced and elevated. I really am so set back in my recovery I think sometimes (when I'm in a pity party mode) that I shall never catch up and be well. I am just praying that a weight loss will make things better for me.
Miriam
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Incorporating : samidasweightlossjourney.blogspot.com
As it says in my header above, now that I am moving further out from my surgery and starting to really morph into the "NEW ME" portion of this blog I want to start addressing my weight loss issues. I tried to access my old blog to do it: blog here The entire archive is there but for some reason I cannot access it to update it - only this blog shows on my dashboard. So, instead of starting yet ANOTHER blog I think I shall merge the two here. I will still have plenty of news on my new knee, but I have to seriously get to work on the new me part of it!
I've been talking a lot about cycling through various weight loss programs. My daughter wanted me to sign up on South Beach with her (which I did with a Groupon coupon) and I am happy to provide her the support (we talk about recipes, points of the program, etc.) but I am currently doing the Weight Watchers "Turn Around" program. It is the one just before Momentum. The points are all the same but the difference is that Turn Around called their alternative program "Core" and Momentum called it "Simply Filling" and also introduced the concept of set points, which disappeared with the Points Plus program. The only reason I chose Turn Around over Momentum is that I like the Turn Around materials much better. But really, as long as I do Points it doesn't matter which one I say I am following. However, the alternative programs: Core vs. Simply Filling, do have differences so I would have to choose one or the other if I was doing the program other than Points. Actually Points Plus was the only major change since Points were first introduced. "1,2,3," "Winning Points," "Turn Around," "Momentum" - all the same except between a couple of them couscous (and maybe one or two other starches) were changed from 2 Points a cup to 3 Points a cup. Can you tell I've done them ALL??????????? I also have several sets of starting materials for each of them, and about 2 dozen points calculators - paper and electronic!
I understand WW's feeling that people were eating too many empty snacks and by changing their formula they would change the way people approach carbohydrates. But I was not one of those people. I always felt comfortable on South Beach (but eventually abandoned it because I did want more variety and more freedom) because I am a very avid complex carbohydrate fan. I didn't appreciate that my favorite WW wheat berry casserole went from five points to nine, or that my barley soup was now 5 points instead of 2. Granted you get more points, fruits are free, yada yada.... but I don't like being forced to use up all those extra points on things that are actually healthy choices. So, I'm comfortable with the older programs, and that's why I picked one of them.
So at this point in my knee recovery, I am certain about this: My extra weight is hampering my comfort and progress. If you have been reading my most recent blog entries you know that I have been facing some setbacks. But other than what I did to myself (by doing too much too soon) the other element in my discomfort and lagging recovery is my weight. I don't know this for certain - and I don't have a HUGE amount to lose, but I know that it is a struggle to move my body. Part of it is that my legs/knees won't support me, but built into that is that too much weight is hampering that support, along with the structural difficulties.
I am going to take one day, one meal at a time. I am not even going to look at the bigger picture and future payoffs. Right now it is so that I feel better tomorrow than I do today.
Today I did not fight with myself. The meals and decisions about meals came easily. I have a fruit left for later, a well as an extra point if I need it for something. I am going to try to make this blog a daily food diary as well as a journal on what I feel about the dieting process and the progress on my knee. It will be very interesting to see if a weight loss truly does improve my knees!
Breakfast: WW bagel (3)
2 Laughing Cow lite cheese wedges (2)
sliced tomatoes
Lunch: HUGE salad with 2 tsp olive oil and vinegar (2)
4 ounces grilled swordfish (4)
Snack: Lentil Soup (4)
Dinner: Whole Wheat shells (2 oz) (3)
Tomato primavera sauce with ground chicken (3) (This is the old WW Turkey Eggplant Casserole recipe without the breadcrumbs!)
2 TBS Parmesan Cheese (1)
Fruit: 1 apple, 1 cup grapes (2)
Total: 24 out of 25
I've been talking a lot about cycling through various weight loss programs. My daughter wanted me to sign up on South Beach with her (which I did with a Groupon coupon) and I am happy to provide her the support (we talk about recipes, points of the program, etc.) but I am currently doing the Weight Watchers "Turn Around" program. It is the one just before Momentum. The points are all the same but the difference is that Turn Around called their alternative program "Core" and Momentum called it "Simply Filling" and also introduced the concept of set points, which disappeared with the Points Plus program. The only reason I chose Turn Around over Momentum is that I like the Turn Around materials much better. But really, as long as I do Points it doesn't matter which one I say I am following. However, the alternative programs: Core vs. Simply Filling, do have differences so I would have to choose one or the other if I was doing the program other than Points. Actually Points Plus was the only major change since Points were first introduced. "1,2,3," "Winning Points," "Turn Around," "Momentum" - all the same except between a couple of them couscous (and maybe one or two other starches) were changed from 2 Points a cup to 3 Points a cup. Can you tell I've done them ALL??????????? I also have several sets of starting materials for each of them, and about 2 dozen points calculators - paper and electronic!
I understand WW's feeling that people were eating too many empty snacks and by changing their formula they would change the way people approach carbohydrates. But I was not one of those people. I always felt comfortable on South Beach (but eventually abandoned it because I did want more variety and more freedom) because I am a very avid complex carbohydrate fan. I didn't appreciate that my favorite WW wheat berry casserole went from five points to nine, or that my barley soup was now 5 points instead of 2. Granted you get more points, fruits are free, yada yada.... but I don't like being forced to use up all those extra points on things that are actually healthy choices. So, I'm comfortable with the older programs, and that's why I picked one of them.
So at this point in my knee recovery, I am certain about this: My extra weight is hampering my comfort and progress. If you have been reading my most recent blog entries you know that I have been facing some setbacks. But other than what I did to myself (by doing too much too soon) the other element in my discomfort and lagging recovery is my weight. I don't know this for certain - and I don't have a HUGE amount to lose, but I know that it is a struggle to move my body. Part of it is that my legs/knees won't support me, but built into that is that too much weight is hampering that support, along with the structural difficulties.
I am going to take one day, one meal at a time. I am not even going to look at the bigger picture and future payoffs. Right now it is so that I feel better tomorrow than I do today.
Today I did not fight with myself. The meals and decisions about meals came easily. I have a fruit left for later, a well as an extra point if I need it for something. I am going to try to make this blog a daily food diary as well as a journal on what I feel about the dieting process and the progress on my knee. It will be very interesting to see if a weight loss truly does improve my knees!
Breakfast: WW bagel (3)
2 Laughing Cow lite cheese wedges (2)
sliced tomatoes
Lunch: HUGE salad with 2 tsp olive oil and vinegar (2)
4 ounces grilled swordfish (4)
Snack: Lentil Soup (4)
Dinner: Whole Wheat shells (2 oz) (3)
Tomato primavera sauce with ground chicken (3) (This is the old WW Turkey Eggplant Casserole recipe without the breadcrumbs!)
2 TBS Parmesan Cheese (1)
Fruit: 1 apple, 1 cup grapes (2)
Total: 24 out of 25
Thursday, October 20, 2011
DUH!!!!!!!!!!
Legs aren't the only things I need for exercising....
I'm going to the gym first thing on Monday (if not tomorrow) to use the hand cycle (although I have one at home and could use that!) and to work on the Nautilus equipment for upper body.
Miriam
I'm going to the gym first thing on Monday (if not tomorrow) to use the hand cycle (although I have one at home and could use that!) and to work on the Nautilus equipment for upper body.
Miriam
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Boy it's getting old.....
Just got back from the hospital which started as a visit to the doctor this afternoon. The pain in my knee was keeping me up and really - it was luck going back to square one. Then last night a throbbing started in my thigh - and although I had no other signs of a blood clot I still had concerns. At first an x-ray was done to make sure that the implant is right where it should be (and it is) , then the exam - where I was told that where the swelling and pain is, is "natural" and that overall my knee looks good. But, the doctor did want to rule out a blood clot so sent me to the hospital for an ultrasound - and that turned out okay too.
So - rest, ice, elevate, stay on a strict schedule of Advil (3 pills, 3 times a day, whether or not I think I need it - just like at the beginning - I need to stay ahead of the pain - especially so that I can sleep). Cut back on the stretching (still do it but don't be overzealous) and cut OUT official exercising. It could be that the water jogging was the culprit in all of this.
Although it seems "gentle" because you are "only" in water and your feet don't have any impact to the floor, it is nonetheless extremely strenuous. I have to concur - that's when it started. One morning when I was particularly enjoying myself I pushed it to the next level (in intensity) and could feel that something was wrong with my patella (kneecap) and so I scaled back immediately... but the damage was done. That's probably where the "pinch" occurred that the doctor though happened, causing bleeding, and hence swelling, in the knee.
So right now my game plan is to do NOTHING but stretches and my old home PT plan - leg lifts, squats, extensions - once a day. I see the doctor again right before Thanksgiving, and if everything is okay I hope he gives me the go-ahead to get back on track with regular exercise. (OMG - did I ever in my LIFE think I would WANT to get back to regular exercise?????)
So anyway - this was a severe and true wake-up call with regard to my weight. Skinny people have bad knees too, but I can't help thinking that things would be so much easier for me if I was "carrying" less weight. It is so difficult for me to move my body. I'm not talking about the physical disability for taking stairs or walking - that is knee related. I'm talking about body mass and moving IT up and down stairs and across the floor. I feel like I am lugging bags and bags of groceries or heavy suitcases - but lo and behold - it is JUST my body that I am moving. Sad thing is I'm not talking about a monumental weight loss here. 25-30 pounds would be just fine. But imagine carrying around 30 pounds of groceries all day long.... doesn't sound so little does it? lol
But therein lies my dilemma - when I am exercising I generally do well with my eating plan. It will just be a little more difficult to stay focused on the food while not being able to move my body in a healthy way. Excuses.... excuses... when I did WW years ago I lost my first 25 pounds without so much as walking any more than from my house to the car! I know weight loss can be done without exercise... I'm not going to talk myself into looking for a problem where there really isn't any.
Sigh... I had come so far only to go back so far.... it really is getting old....
Miriam
So - rest, ice, elevate, stay on a strict schedule of Advil (3 pills, 3 times a day, whether or not I think I need it - just like at the beginning - I need to stay ahead of the pain - especially so that I can sleep). Cut back on the stretching (still do it but don't be overzealous) and cut OUT official exercising. It could be that the water jogging was the culprit in all of this.
Although it seems "gentle" because you are "only" in water and your feet don't have any impact to the floor, it is nonetheless extremely strenuous. I have to concur - that's when it started. One morning when I was particularly enjoying myself I pushed it to the next level (in intensity) and could feel that something was wrong with my patella (kneecap) and so I scaled back immediately... but the damage was done. That's probably where the "pinch" occurred that the doctor though happened, causing bleeding, and hence swelling, in the knee.
So right now my game plan is to do NOTHING but stretches and my old home PT plan - leg lifts, squats, extensions - once a day. I see the doctor again right before Thanksgiving, and if everything is okay I hope he gives me the go-ahead to get back on track with regular exercise. (OMG - did I ever in my LIFE think I would WANT to get back to regular exercise?????)
So anyway - this was a severe and true wake-up call with regard to my weight. Skinny people have bad knees too, but I can't help thinking that things would be so much easier for me if I was "carrying" less weight. It is so difficult for me to move my body. I'm not talking about the physical disability for taking stairs or walking - that is knee related. I'm talking about body mass and moving IT up and down stairs and across the floor. I feel like I am lugging bags and bags of groceries or heavy suitcases - but lo and behold - it is JUST my body that I am moving. Sad thing is I'm not talking about a monumental weight loss here. 25-30 pounds would be just fine. But imagine carrying around 30 pounds of groceries all day long.... doesn't sound so little does it? lol
But therein lies my dilemma - when I am exercising I generally do well with my eating plan. It will just be a little more difficult to stay focused on the food while not being able to move my body in a healthy way. Excuses.... excuses... when I did WW years ago I lost my first 25 pounds without so much as walking any more than from my house to the car! I know weight loss can be done without exercise... I'm not going to talk myself into looking for a problem where there really isn't any.
Sigh... I had come so far only to go back so far.... it really is getting old....
Miriam
Friday, October 14, 2011
Word from the Doctor
This past week or so I have been "suffering" in a way that I haven't since my first month out of surgery. It's gotten to the point where I had started using my cane again. I think a lot of it has to do with the damp weather - there IS actually something called a baroreceptor: (from Wikipedia):
Baroreceptors (or baroceptors) are sensors located in the blood vessels of several mammals. They are a type of mechanoreceptor that detects the pressure of blood flowing through them, and can send messages to the central nervous system to increase or decrease total peripheral resistance and cardiac output. blah blah blah but the end result is that some of us (ME) are very sensitive to drops in barometric pressure - usually occurring where there is loss of cartilage and other "upsets" in healthy tissues. WHOODA THUNK????? So when people say they feel rain coming on they ain't kidding!
Okay so back to my story - baroreceptors notwithstanding, I still started to get very worried - as I said in my last post, the swelling is awful and I'm starting to have pain that no Aleve or Advil will relieve.
So, I told all that to the doctor and he said that I may have pinched something that caused bleeding into the knee and to STOP all extra activity (walking, aqua jogging, swimming, etc.) except for stretching and to lay off everything for 2-3 weeks. He also said that since I am not getting any relief from the Advil or Aleve, to not bother taking it, as that opens a whole other set of problems. I still have a supply of Vicodin, and if it's been a particularly bad day I can take one at bedtime and one during the night.
Not quite back to square one, but a setback for sure - I think emotionally more than anything. Like I said in an earlier post, I feel I'm back to juggling - how much is too much? What is just right to put me on the brink of where I need to be? What's not nearly enough so I shouldn't even bother? The doctor said that when I was starting to walk 1 1/2 miles, that maybe 1 mile a little longer would have been better. Where is that extra one step that makes it "too" much? But I felt FINE at 1 mile - there was no reason NOT to push just a little further....
Those of you who may have a TKR in your future - make sure to take a class in juggling as part of your prep!
Meanwhile I have a belly dance class to teach in the morning. But I swear - I'm not getting out of my nightgown on Sunday!
Miriam
Baroreceptors (or baroceptors) are sensors located in the blood vessels of several mammals. They are a type of mechanoreceptor that detects the pressure of blood flowing through them, and can send messages to the central nervous system to increase or decrease total peripheral resistance and cardiac output. blah blah blah but the end result is that some of us (ME) are very sensitive to drops in barometric pressure - usually occurring where there is loss of cartilage and other "upsets" in healthy tissues. WHOODA THUNK????? So when people say they feel rain coming on they ain't kidding!
Okay so back to my story - baroreceptors notwithstanding, I still started to get very worried - as I said in my last post, the swelling is awful and I'm starting to have pain that no Aleve or Advil will relieve.
So, I told all that to the doctor and he said that I may have pinched something that caused bleeding into the knee and to STOP all extra activity (walking, aqua jogging, swimming, etc.) except for stretching and to lay off everything for 2-3 weeks. He also said that since I am not getting any relief from the Advil or Aleve, to not bother taking it, as that opens a whole other set of problems. I still have a supply of Vicodin, and if it's been a particularly bad day I can take one at bedtime and one during the night.
Not quite back to square one, but a setback for sure - I think emotionally more than anything. Like I said in an earlier post, I feel I'm back to juggling - how much is too much? What is just right to put me on the brink of where I need to be? What's not nearly enough so I shouldn't even bother? The doctor said that when I was starting to walk 1 1/2 miles, that maybe 1 mile a little longer would have been better. Where is that extra one step that makes it "too" much? But I felt FINE at 1 mile - there was no reason NOT to push just a little further....
Those of you who may have a TKR in your future - make sure to take a class in juggling as part of your prep!
Meanwhile I have a belly dance class to teach in the morning. But I swear - I'm not getting out of my nightgown on Sunday!
Miriam
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Twenty Weeks and Counting
Thank you all who commented on my last post - and Sandy, thank you for sharing your experience and giving me some advice. I've had sort of a hit-or-miss couple of weeks. My whole leg was in too much pain for my liking - but it was on the heels of aqua jogging and outdoor walking - maybe I am doing too much. This past weekend had me up and about because my daughter's engagement party was Sunday (thank you thank you!) and I had so much shopping and preparing to do, running to and from stores, etc.
At the party was my daughter's best friend who is the physical therapist and I told her about the pain and the swelling and she said to go ahead and call the doctor and move the appointment up a month. However, when she took a look she said the swelling didn't look "that bad" so maybe I'll just wait. I tried to take it easy today and am feeling better, but noticed when I am on my feet more than 15 or 20 minutes I can feel the swelling immediately and it becomes uncomfortable. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know whether looking at my recovery in terms of weeks makes it seem shorter or longer. Which sounds longer or shorter: 20 weeks or 5 months. FIVE MONTHS??? OMG - yesterday was only 4 months. Anyway what my daughter's friend did suggest is that I not do any vigorous exercise until I do see the doctor. That doesn't mean I'm off the hook - just maybe aqua jogging for 40 minutes might be out of the question... perhaps 20 will do... or maybe cut back to a mile instead of 1 1/2 miles for the walking.
This reminds me of my early journal entries where I was trying to figure out medication. How much was just enough to stay ahead of the pain... but how would I really know what the right amount would be if I didn't experiment just once taking less and seeing if I landed up in pain. But by then it was too late and I couldn't catch up to being pain-free again. This whole recovery is such a juggling act!
I'm so glad that I understood going in that the recovery would be a full year - if I'm lucky. It's just that the reality of it is such a different matter.
My husband and son have come home safely from Lebanon (they arrived Friday night), and my father-in-law is doing well. There was no permanent damage from the stroke but he's very tired from all the medication he's on and just the general tiredness from what his body went through. So between their safe arrival on Friday and my daughter's joyous engagement party on Sunday and a weekend spent with our best friends from Brooklyn, I can say the cloud has been lifted even though it's not all peachy.
Thanks again for all your well wishes.
Miriam
At the party was my daughter's best friend who is the physical therapist and I told her about the pain and the swelling and she said to go ahead and call the doctor and move the appointment up a month. However, when she took a look she said the swelling didn't look "that bad" so maybe I'll just wait. I tried to take it easy today and am feeling better, but noticed when I am on my feet more than 15 or 20 minutes I can feel the swelling immediately and it becomes uncomfortable. ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know whether looking at my recovery in terms of weeks makes it seem shorter or longer. Which sounds longer or shorter: 20 weeks or 5 months. FIVE MONTHS??? OMG - yesterday was only 4 months. Anyway what my daughter's friend did suggest is that I not do any vigorous exercise until I do see the doctor. That doesn't mean I'm off the hook - just maybe aqua jogging for 40 minutes might be out of the question... perhaps 20 will do... or maybe cut back to a mile instead of 1 1/2 miles for the walking.
This reminds me of my early journal entries where I was trying to figure out medication. How much was just enough to stay ahead of the pain... but how would I really know what the right amount would be if I didn't experiment just once taking less and seeing if I landed up in pain. But by then it was too late and I couldn't catch up to being pain-free again. This whole recovery is such a juggling act!
I'm so glad that I understood going in that the recovery would be a full year - if I'm lucky. It's just that the reality of it is such a different matter.
My husband and son have come home safely from Lebanon (they arrived Friday night), and my father-in-law is doing well. There was no permanent damage from the stroke but he's very tired from all the medication he's on and just the general tiredness from what his body went through. So between their safe arrival on Friday and my daughter's joyous engagement party on Sunday and a weekend spent with our best friends from Brooklyn, I can say the cloud has been lifted even though it's not all peachy.
Thanks again for all your well wishes.
Miriam
Friday, September 30, 2011
Singing the Blues
I just discovered a new (but very old) blog that I want to share with you: http://greattkr.blogspot.com. He had his TKR in September 2004, so I checked in on January 2005, which is 4 months post-op which is about where I am now. I know I have friends following me, but if you are in the middle of a TKR recovery you might want to follow his blog as well as mine.
So - what brought me to that blog? (I've been there before but this time I bookmarked it.) I was googling "Depression and TKR" as I have been having such blue days. Maybe part of it is I am missing my family (my husband's father, by the way, went home today and is having a fabulous recovery - everyone sounded happy all around), still stressed over my mother's situation (even though she is in a great place, Alzheimer's still is no picnic for the family), and in general so discouraged over my limitations, most notably the swelling and discomfort when (or following) walking, or the stiffness when I get up in the morning. No pain, mind you - so where's the happy dance?
I have just so neglected myself this week. I know that walking, stretching, swimming, hot-tub use, etc., makes me feel SO much better, but when I'm so down I can't get myself to do anything. This is just not one of my chipper days, let's say.... It's Friday and the end to a long week. I have so much to do this last weekend with the house to myself, I'll keep myself busy enough so that I don't wallow in whatever mud I seem to be wallowing in...
Having re-read this previous paragraph I was thinking of all the GREAT things I did for myself this week: I went walking a few times, bought myself an AM/PM stretch DVD for days I need a land stretch, got a really cute haircut yesterday, and went bra shopping at Intimacy with my sister-in-law, getting a new wardrobe of bras, followed by a really nice lunch on Newbury Street. I've been sleeping late, going to bed early, and eating well. Oh my gosh... what IS my problem?
I think this whole depression/feeling blue "thing" is a very real syndrome of TKR recovery from what I'm gathering (and so am writing about it to warn those of you that are heading down this road). It stems from the disappointment that sets in 4-5 months out from recovery when things just aren't going as smoothly and swiftly as you have dreamed about. (My heart goes out to the people who are still struggling after a year!) I know that my 4-month situation is more like other people's 8 or more-month situation so it's not so much that I am belly-aching. I just wish I could get up from a chair and just go - I still have to stand for a split second before my brain gets my body in gear. I wish I could finish a walk without my knee swelling up and getting hot. I wish I didn't still feel like I was going to fall when I walk up or down an incline. I wish ... I wish... I wish...
I'm feeling that I probably hit 75% of my recovery in these first four months. The remaining 25% will take the next 8 months. I actually had to laugh when I realized that according to the calendar I'm only 4 months + 1 week from surgery - even less if we start counting from the manipulation. Not long at all... I just need more practice in putting things into perspective...
Okay -now that I've depressed you all, I'm feeling better. :)
Off to clean....
Miriam
So - what brought me to that blog? (I've been there before but this time I bookmarked it.) I was googling "Depression and TKR" as I have been having such blue days. Maybe part of it is I am missing my family (my husband's father, by the way, went home today and is having a fabulous recovery - everyone sounded happy all around), still stressed over my mother's situation (even though she is in a great place, Alzheimer's still is no picnic for the family), and in general so discouraged over my limitations, most notably the swelling and discomfort when (or following) walking, or the stiffness when I get up in the morning. No pain, mind you - so where's the happy dance?
I have just so neglected myself this week. I know that walking, stretching, swimming, hot-tub use, etc., makes me feel SO much better, but when I'm so down I can't get myself to do anything. This is just not one of my chipper days, let's say.... It's Friday and the end to a long week. I have so much to do this last weekend with the house to myself, I'll keep myself busy enough so that I don't wallow in whatever mud I seem to be wallowing in...
Having re-read this previous paragraph I was thinking of all the GREAT things I did for myself this week: I went walking a few times, bought myself an AM/PM stretch DVD for days I need a land stretch, got a really cute haircut yesterday, and went bra shopping at Intimacy with my sister-in-law, getting a new wardrobe of bras, followed by a really nice lunch on Newbury Street. I've been sleeping late, going to bed early, and eating well. Oh my gosh... what IS my problem?
I think this whole depression/feeling blue "thing" is a very real syndrome of TKR recovery from what I'm gathering (and so am writing about it to warn those of you that are heading down this road). It stems from the disappointment that sets in 4-5 months out from recovery when things just aren't going as smoothly and swiftly as you have dreamed about. (My heart goes out to the people who are still struggling after a year!) I know that my 4-month situation is more like other people's 8 or more-month situation so it's not so much that I am belly-aching. I just wish I could get up from a chair and just go - I still have to stand for a split second before my brain gets my body in gear. I wish I could finish a walk without my knee swelling up and getting hot. I wish I didn't still feel like I was going to fall when I walk up or down an incline. I wish ... I wish... I wish...
I'm feeling that I probably hit 75% of my recovery in these first four months. The remaining 25% will take the next 8 months. I actually had to laugh when I realized that according to the calendar I'm only 4 months + 1 week from surgery - even less if we start counting from the manipulation. Not long at all... I just need more practice in putting things into perspective...
Okay -now that I've depressed you all, I'm feeling better. :)
Off to clean....
Miriam
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Identity Crisis
Who am I? Am I a walker or a swimmer? Am I a hot-tub stretcher or a land stretcher? Do I really enjoy what I am doing or am I just looking for the easier way? I think my bottom line is that I don't really want to do anything, and nothing is easy. I want to feel great, just by wishing it so.... I almost want to ask "What is the lesser of all the evils?" but that gives exercise a bad rap - it's not really evil... it's all in the eye of the beholder.
So what's up with this beholder today? I woke up with a crick in my neck and an aching back, and dreamed all morning of stretching in the hot tub. Then 11AM rolls around and I'm thinking - but I just did my hair last night - I don't want to have to shower and do my hair this afternoon. Then I start surfing about hot tubs (thinking wouldn't it be nice to have one on my deck) and came across literature about getting respiratory infections from breathing the vapor of indoor hot tubs. Wow - I had better not go to the gym today... (Of course, where I go is super-duper clean and sanitized... but we are talking about the air here...)
But I'm SO stiff so I half-heartedly started doing my stretches in the office -- maybe just to prove to myself that I know how to do them... not necessarily prove that I will do them. But the clock is ticking and I know I have to do SOMETHING to move my body today. So I went for my mile walk - I am happy to report that I did it without stopping and resting, and did it in close to a 1/2 hour. (This brings it to a sad starting point of a 2MPH walk - but I have to take into account where I'm coming from (0MPH walking!) and not where I used to be long long ago - 5MPH walks without breaking a sweat).
Okay so while I'm walking I'm thinking. I really do LOVE to walk. Always has been my most favorite form of exercise - ever. Then I thought over Sandy's blog (http://washdryandfold.blogspot.com) where she wrote about getting a new bike and finding that A does NOT equal B, meaning that riding outside on a real bike does not even resemble riding indoors on a recumbent bike. So I'm thinking that if I really want to get back to walking I need to walk outdoors - treadmill and indoor clay-track walking is NOT the same. It might work for cardio, but they really don't work your body the way outdoor walking does. I love swimming but it's the same thing - it does not translate to the same fitness that walking does (in my opinion - I have nothing to back this up). I took it up primarily because it was the only thing left to me before my surgery - I was in so much pain with anything else. But, if for walking, all I have to do is put on a pair of sneaks and head out the door isn't that so much easier than changing for the pool, getting all wet, then needing another 1/2 hour (at least) before I'm ready to go back to work again? Okay so walking wins in the EASY category. The hard part is just DOING it.
But I'm really torn on the hot tub. It's the same level of difficulty as swimming (the changing, showering, dressing, etc.) but it brings, for me, better results than land stretching. However, I think that's because I LIKE the hot tub so it's more "fun" to do my stretching in it. But if I'm going to walk and not swim - what is the point to get wet for just 20 minutes and have all the hassle?
I think it's just like picking a diet. (And, God help me - I'm back to counting calories... but it's quite an eye opener - I'm using http://www.myfitnesspal.com - and it tracks nutrients as well as calories - there are 530mg in ONE tablespoon of my vinegar and 520mg in two wedges of lite Laughing Cow cheese...a snack bag of Lite Cape Cod chips has only 80!) You just have to pick one and make up your mind to do it and see it through.
I don't think there is anything wrong with changing things up but I would like to stick to something long enough to give it a fair try. Bouncing around (diets or exercise) to find the easiest, least "painful" is going to get me no where.
Here's to walking, land stretching, and calorie counting.... THIS week anyway!
Miriam
So what's up with this beholder today? I woke up with a crick in my neck and an aching back, and dreamed all morning of stretching in the hot tub. Then 11AM rolls around and I'm thinking - but I just did my hair last night - I don't want to have to shower and do my hair this afternoon. Then I start surfing about hot tubs (thinking wouldn't it be nice to have one on my deck) and came across literature about getting respiratory infections from breathing the vapor of indoor hot tubs. Wow - I had better not go to the gym today... (Of course, where I go is super-duper clean and sanitized... but we are talking about the air here...)
But I'm SO stiff so I half-heartedly started doing my stretches in the office -- maybe just to prove to myself that I know how to do them... not necessarily prove that I will do them. But the clock is ticking and I know I have to do SOMETHING to move my body today. So I went for my mile walk - I am happy to report that I did it without stopping and resting, and did it in close to a 1/2 hour. (This brings it to a sad starting point of a 2MPH walk - but I have to take into account where I'm coming from (0MPH walking!) and not where I used to be long long ago - 5MPH walks without breaking a sweat).
Okay so while I'm walking I'm thinking. I really do LOVE to walk. Always has been my most favorite form of exercise - ever. Then I thought over Sandy's blog (http://washdryandfold.blogspot.com) where she wrote about getting a new bike and finding that A does NOT equal B, meaning that riding outside on a real bike does not even resemble riding indoors on a recumbent bike. So I'm thinking that if I really want to get back to walking I need to walk outdoors - treadmill and indoor clay-track walking is NOT the same. It might work for cardio, but they really don't work your body the way outdoor walking does. I love swimming but it's the same thing - it does not translate to the same fitness that walking does (in my opinion - I have nothing to back this up). I took it up primarily because it was the only thing left to me before my surgery - I was in so much pain with anything else. But, if for walking, all I have to do is put on a pair of sneaks and head out the door isn't that so much easier than changing for the pool, getting all wet, then needing another 1/2 hour (at least) before I'm ready to go back to work again? Okay so walking wins in the EASY category. The hard part is just DOING it.
But I'm really torn on the hot tub. It's the same level of difficulty as swimming (the changing, showering, dressing, etc.) but it brings, for me, better results than land stretching. However, I think that's because I LIKE the hot tub so it's more "fun" to do my stretching in it. But if I'm going to walk and not swim - what is the point to get wet for just 20 minutes and have all the hassle?
I think it's just like picking a diet. (And, God help me - I'm back to counting calories... but it's quite an eye opener - I'm using http://www.myfitnesspal.com - and it tracks nutrients as well as calories - there are 530mg in ONE tablespoon of my vinegar and 520mg in two wedges of lite Laughing Cow cheese...a snack bag of Lite Cape Cod chips has only 80!) You just have to pick one and make up your mind to do it and see it through.
I don't think there is anything wrong with changing things up but I would like to stick to something long enough to give it a fair try. Bouncing around (diets or exercise) to find the easiest, least "painful" is going to get me no where.
Here's to walking, land stretching, and calorie counting.... THIS week anyway!
Miriam
Friday, September 23, 2011
What a week's life throws at you
So I almost posted on Monday a blog with the title "The Natives are Restless" saying that it was a bright sunny day and when I got on the Mass Pike East to go to work I was craving going West instead, just to have a drive and go no where in particular; that being cooped up all summer was getting the best of me and I needed to travel.
Well... omg... we got a call in the middle of the night (Tuesday 2AM) from Lebanon to say that my husband's father was in surgery for a brain bleed/stroke and they didn't know if he was going to make it. My husband and I stayed up the rest of the night and at about 5AM left the house to make a round trip to NYC to get his passport renewed at the Lebanese Consulate. Talk about going WEST on the Mass Pike... I threw together some snacks (I popped three mini-bags of popcorn, packed fruit, soda, and threw in a wedge of fritatta that I had made for Sunday's breakfast) and off we went. Let's just say it was not a good day for an excursion - President Obama was at the UN, which meant not only was traffic and parking worse than usual, but His Majesty, the Lebanese Consul was at the UN and there was no one to sign off on a passport. After much heated debate and argument about whether the Lebanese government should shut down because of the President's visit, my husband got someone to sign off on a 1-day pass to enter the country with the proviso that he would get a passport there within 24 hours of landing...
We made the round-trip - in the rain - and were home by about 4PM. That took care of my restlessness - I had forgotten how much I hate going West (maybe not West in general, but going through NYC traffic... OUCH). THEN on the way home I had to make reservations for my husband and son to fly out to Lebanon the next day. Wednesday morning I got up and realized the suitcases we had, had seen better days so off I was luggage shopping... then to the bank - TWICE... then to TJMaxx and Marshalls and CVS for last minute things they needed... then to the cleaners... you get the picture. By the time I saw the two of them off my right knee was swollen 4" bigger than the left knee. It's STILL swollen.
Part of it was the length of time in the car and the in-and-out of it. We were careful to try to stop every 1 1/2 hours so I could get out and walk, but a few times it wasn't possible because of the traffic and the rain. Then the next day - with so many errands to run I added to the problem. But it wasn't just the in and out of errands, it was the force of walking so fast to get where I had to go. It would have almost been back to normal in that regard, if the swelling didn't take over.
I almost cried this morning. As I got out of my car at work and had to hobble into the office. My knee hadn't felt this bad ... well... since surgery... And tomorrow my belly dance classes start. LAST Friday at this time I was all ready for them and not worried at all. Today is a different story. I'm not worried in the sense that I am going to hurt myself and do any damage... I'm just upset that I'm not feeling my best. My students are very accepting of my situation and will let me "direct traffic" rather than do all the dance steps at the head of the class. I even have enlisted some of my advanced students to help with the beginners in case I am not able to show them what I need to.
Boy - when it rains it pours... but at least the native is no longer restless.
Miriam
Well... omg... we got a call in the middle of the night (Tuesday 2AM) from Lebanon to say that my husband's father was in surgery for a brain bleed/stroke and they didn't know if he was going to make it. My husband and I stayed up the rest of the night and at about 5AM left the house to make a round trip to NYC to get his passport renewed at the Lebanese Consulate. Talk about going WEST on the Mass Pike... I threw together some snacks (I popped three mini-bags of popcorn, packed fruit, soda, and threw in a wedge of fritatta that I had made for Sunday's breakfast) and off we went. Let's just say it was not a good day for an excursion - President Obama was at the UN, which meant not only was traffic and parking worse than usual, but His Majesty, the Lebanese Consul was at the UN and there was no one to sign off on a passport. After much heated debate and argument about whether the Lebanese government should shut down because of the President's visit, my husband got someone to sign off on a 1-day pass to enter the country with the proviso that he would get a passport there within 24 hours of landing...
We made the round-trip - in the rain - and were home by about 4PM. That took care of my restlessness - I had forgotten how much I hate going West (maybe not West in general, but going through NYC traffic... OUCH). THEN on the way home I had to make reservations for my husband and son to fly out to Lebanon the next day. Wednesday morning I got up and realized the suitcases we had, had seen better days so off I was luggage shopping... then to the bank - TWICE... then to TJMaxx and Marshalls and CVS for last minute things they needed... then to the cleaners... you get the picture. By the time I saw the two of them off my right knee was swollen 4" bigger than the left knee. It's STILL swollen.
Part of it was the length of time in the car and the in-and-out of it. We were careful to try to stop every 1 1/2 hours so I could get out and walk, but a few times it wasn't possible because of the traffic and the rain. Then the next day - with so many errands to run I added to the problem. But it wasn't just the in and out of errands, it was the force of walking so fast to get where I had to go. It would have almost been back to normal in that regard, if the swelling didn't take over.
I almost cried this morning. As I got out of my car at work and had to hobble into the office. My knee hadn't felt this bad ... well... since surgery... And tomorrow my belly dance classes start. LAST Friday at this time I was all ready for them and not worried at all. Today is a different story. I'm not worried in the sense that I am going to hurt myself and do any damage... I'm just upset that I'm not feeling my best. My students are very accepting of my situation and will let me "direct traffic" rather than do all the dance steps at the head of the class. I even have enlisted some of my advanced students to help with the beginners in case I am not able to show them what I need to.
Boy - when it rains it pours... but at least the native is no longer restless.
Miriam
Sunday, September 18, 2011
a REAL lazy Sunday
I have a very bad cold today and have felt like doing absolutely nothing. My knee is so tight that I promised myself I will at least do my stair lunges and a bit of the bike before the day is over. Even though it's not likely to happen I have this fear in my mind that if I skip my "stuff" for more than a day all of a sudden it's all going to snap back to my ROM (range of motion) that I had before my manipulation. I know logically that I probably won't even lose a degree - except from stiffness but that won't be a true loss of degree - but I still can't shake the fear.
I remember a couple of months ago when my therapist wrote across my exercise sheet "CONQUER THE FEAR." She was talking about the fear of doing something because of pain, but now I am suffering a different fear. Maybe it comes from being discharged from physical therapy and being on my own. The fear is that I won't progress and that I will go backwards. I know that it can happen with people who do not faithfully do their exercises and stretches at the very beginning of recovery, and that now missing a day or two because of a cold is not going to send me back to week 5 of my recovery... it's irrational, I know.
It's just so daunting. When I had my rotator cuff surgery, once I was done with PT I was done. I didn't slip back because I didn't do specific exercises and stretches. I actually did NOTHING once I finished PT and now I would never even know anything was wrong with my shoulder. But I don't think the knee is going to be like that. I think I will always have to be vigilant. And that scares me. I'm not a particularly vigilant person or I wouldn't have been in this predicament in the first place.
I know my weight had a lot to do with my arthritis, as well as my lack of dedicated exercise that would have strengthened the muscles that would have aided the knee in doing its work. Even thin people who exercise have osteoarthritis, and bone-on-bone, so I can't totally beat myself up for my condition. I'm just saying that as active as I am trying to be (and than you all for your kudos on that) it's still not natural and not something I enjoy more than sitting in my recliner and watching TV.
Oh boy... is this a pity-party day or what? I know it's because I'm feeling under the weather. But with my defenses down, I speak the truth.... I only hope the weather this week is bright and sunny because I sure don't need any extra aches and pains... lol
Miriam
I remember a couple of months ago when my therapist wrote across my exercise sheet "CONQUER THE FEAR." She was talking about the fear of doing something because of pain, but now I am suffering a different fear. Maybe it comes from being discharged from physical therapy and being on my own. The fear is that I won't progress and that I will go backwards. I know that it can happen with people who do not faithfully do their exercises and stretches at the very beginning of recovery, and that now missing a day or two because of a cold is not going to send me back to week 5 of my recovery... it's irrational, I know.
It's just so daunting. When I had my rotator cuff surgery, once I was done with PT I was done. I didn't slip back because I didn't do specific exercises and stretches. I actually did NOTHING once I finished PT and now I would never even know anything was wrong with my shoulder. But I don't think the knee is going to be like that. I think I will always have to be vigilant. And that scares me. I'm not a particularly vigilant person or I wouldn't have been in this predicament in the first place.
I know my weight had a lot to do with my arthritis, as well as my lack of dedicated exercise that would have strengthened the muscles that would have aided the knee in doing its work. Even thin people who exercise have osteoarthritis, and bone-on-bone, so I can't totally beat myself up for my condition. I'm just saying that as active as I am trying to be (and than you all for your kudos on that) it's still not natural and not something I enjoy more than sitting in my recliner and watching TV.
Oh boy... is this a pity-party day or what? I know it's because I'm feeling under the weather. But with my defenses down, I speak the truth.... I only hope the weather this week is bright and sunny because I sure don't need any extra aches and pains... lol
Miriam
Thursday, September 15, 2011
A New Exercise Challenge
My physical therapist gave me the okay to do the nautilus weights but even though I asked, I'm not sure I want to take those on (at least for my legs). I know too many people with knee replacements who have forever doomed their recovery because they did weights - it might just be because they did them too soon. But, in any case, I will wait until November when I see my doctor. However, I was looking for something new.
Today when I was in the pool I noticed a woman swimming against the current in the lazy river. OMG - I can barely WALK against the current. So anyway, I gave it a try. It's like one of those "Endless Pool" commercials where you swim for hours and don't go anywhere. I managed once around, with manual help getting around the corners. I was so out of breath from the one lap I thought I would faint. I didn't dare try another one because I didn't know what stress it would cause my knee. But - I'm smitten - lol. When I go to the pool I am going to add one lap against the current, and add as I am able to.
The other reason I didn't push it too much today is that I am mildly uncomfortable. We have pending rain and I am sure that is it, as much as anything physical that I might have done to overwork my knee. The therapist said this is one of the things that will probably always be with me. Before my replacement my knees ached when it was going to rain, but I was hoping I was done for with the new knee. I'm not sure it's the knee itself that aches (it's only metal and plastic) - it is probably the muscle, nerves and skeleton surrounding it. I got out of the gym and I was grabbing onto anything until I got to my car. I looked up at the handicap ramp into my building and I might as well have been looking up Mt. Everest. Everyone has good and bad days - it just seems that mine are either REALLY good (like yesterday - I walked that mile without needing to rest!) or REALLY bad - although I hate to use the word bad... more like uncomfortable and daunting.
I have been faithfully on WW Points Plus since Saturday. I had been counting calories but while doing so I also added up the PP against the calories and found that day in and day out I was eating exactly 29 PP - so I figured might as well. I have an on-line membership until October 9th so I've been using it to track and find recipes. I have also been sugar free, and processed white flour free, as was my original plan. So, all in all, it's been a successful week, so far.
In terms of exercise, I think twice a week at the pool is plenty (Tuesday and Thursday) and then I will walk M-W-F, and next Saturday my belly dance classes start - I am on my feet for 2 1/2 hours straight with those, so that's enough exercise for the day (and we always start with a really good stretch). Gee.... do you think I can take Sunday off??????
Miriam
The other reason I didn't push it too much today is that I am mildly uncomfortable. We have pending rain and I am sure that is it, as much as anything physical that I might have done to overwork my knee. The therapist said this is one of the things that will probably always be with me. Before my replacement my knees ached when it was going to rain, but I was hoping I was done for with the new knee. I'm not sure it's the knee itself that aches (it's only metal and plastic) - it is probably the muscle, nerves and skeleton surrounding it. I got out of the gym and I was grabbing onto anything until I got to my car. I looked up at the handicap ramp into my building and I might as well have been looking up Mt. Everest. Everyone has good and bad days - it just seems that mine are either REALLY good (like yesterday - I walked that mile without needing to rest!) or REALLY bad - although I hate to use the word bad... more like uncomfortable and daunting.
I have been faithfully on WW Points Plus since Saturday. I had been counting calories but while doing so I also added up the PP against the calories and found that day in and day out I was eating exactly 29 PP - so I figured might as well. I have an on-line membership until October 9th so I've been using it to track and find recipes. I have also been sugar free, and processed white flour free, as was my original plan. So, all in all, it's been a successful week, so far.
In terms of exercise, I think twice a week at the pool is plenty (Tuesday and Thursday) and then I will walk M-W-F, and next Saturday my belly dance classes start - I am on my feet for 2 1/2 hours straight with those, so that's enough exercise for the day (and we always start with a really good stretch). Gee.... do you think I can take Sunday off??????
Miriam
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
It's in the cards
Today I was looking on the Weight Watchers website and there is a four-page spread on Disney World AND fantastic links that I wish I had when I was there last time (including the bus schedule from Downtown Disney to Seaworld).
One of the big things was the amount that you walk while at Disney:
So this is right in keeping with my goals to be able to walk three miles. I swear the day I walk 3 miles I am booking my trip - even if it overlaps with my daughter's wedding!
This morning I did the hot tub and pool before work. It was so great to get it out of the way - but it still took me over an hour to get into the city - even at the early hour. I was glad to have it off my plate because then I was able to visit my mother at lunch. She is the happiest I've seen her. She was moved to an Alzheimer's unit on Monday. My brother, sister-in-law and I went in on Sunday to bring her personal items and to hang pictures and to make it homey. She said she likes her new "apartment" (it is the identical room/bed that she had before but on a different floor). They have activities like clipping coupons and making shopping lists so she will be right in her element. They also adjusted her medication so she is no hallucinating about her car in the garage or the baby carriages in the room next door. I hope that from here, even though her condition is deteriorating, that it only gets better....
My knee has been "zinging" like crazy - I think the nerves are growing back. There's a spot where the doctor peels back the skin to do the surgery and it can either stay numb forever, or "zing" like it is doing today - which is a GOOD thing. I think it was all my walking yesterday, and my swimming this morning that is doing it. I must be bringing in good circulation by doing all that movement.
All good.
Miriam
One of the big things was the amount that you walk while at Disney:
| 1 | Walk. The average guest logs 5 to 6 miles a day — probably without even realizing it! Check this chart for the typical distance between popular areas. |
| Path (Point A to B) | Distance (miles) |
|---|---|
| BoardWalk Resort in Epcot area to Disney’s Hollywood Studios | 0.9* |
| Around Barefoot Bay at Caribbean Beach Resort in Epcot area | 1.4 |
| Magic Kingdom entrance to Space Mountain | 0.5 |
| Animal Kingdom entrance to Safari | 0.9 |
| Around World Showcase Lagoon (Epcot international pavilions that surround the water, including Canada, United Kingdom, France, Morocco, Japan, The American Adventure, Italy, Germany, China, Norway and Mexico) | 1.2 |
So this is right in keeping with my goals to be able to walk three miles. I swear the day I walk 3 miles I am booking my trip - even if it overlaps with my daughter's wedding!
This morning I did the hot tub and pool before work. It was so great to get it out of the way - but it still took me over an hour to get into the city - even at the early hour. I was glad to have it off my plate because then I was able to visit my mother at lunch. She is the happiest I've seen her. She was moved to an Alzheimer's unit on Monday. My brother, sister-in-law and I went in on Sunday to bring her personal items and to hang pictures and to make it homey. She said she likes her new "apartment" (it is the identical room/bed that she had before but on a different floor). They have activities like clipping coupons and making shopping lists so she will be right in her element. They also adjusted her medication so she is no hallucinating about her car in the garage or the baby carriages in the room next door. I hope that from here, even though her condition is deteriorating, that it only gets better....
My knee has been "zinging" like crazy - I think the nerves are growing back. There's a spot where the doctor peels back the skin to do the surgery and it can either stay numb forever, or "zing" like it is doing today - which is a GOOD thing. I think it was all my walking yesterday, and my swimming this morning that is doing it. I must be bringing in good circulation by doing all that movement.
All good.
Miriam
Monday, September 12, 2011
Training for Disney
The Princess half-marathon you ask? I wish! I actually wanted to do that about two years before my knee replacement and my doctor said that if I attempted it they would have to bring me back in a wheel chair and schedule surgery for BOTH knees.
I went for my first full 1-mile walk this afternoon. Took well over an hour with all the stops I had to make to sit down and rest my body. I put it that way because in a cardio sense, I was crawling like a snail so there was no exertion, but my body was killing me - my quads, glutes, knees, back - everything. While I was walking I said I have been having this all wrong in terms of going to Disney.
First let me say, that Disney is my most favorite place to visit, and I have no argument against it calling itself "The Happiest Place on Earth." I have been to Europe, the Middle East, and many many US states - including Hawaii which is absolutely gorgeous, and Canada, and I'm sorry, friends - but there is NO where else I would rather be than Walt Disney World. So - that being said, let me just say that I am practically pining away with thoughts of going. I had to cancel a trip at Christmas, 2009 because I had just had rotator-cuff surgery on December 1st, and the trip was scheduled for the 13th. Then now my knee surgery.
I was thinking - oh when I lose weight that will be my reward. When I am back from my daughter's wedding (in Italy, no less) then I will save money and vacation time for my trip to Disney, etc. Well boy, did I have an eye-opener today about 1/4 way into my walk.
It has nothing to do with money, time off, rewards, etc. It has to do with - can I walk three miles without having to stop and call the paramedics? Granted, last time I went I used the old-lady scooter around Epcot and it made a HUGE difference in how I enjoyed that park, but the other parks (Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom) are not conducive to those scooters. As it is, I got dirty looks when using the scooter in Epcot - and those "roadways/streets" are as wide as 2-3 lane roads! With the tightness of the other parks I couldn't see myself scootering around.
So - call it a reward if you will, for all the hard work it is going to take, but the issue isn't money saved or weight lost. It's can I walk? Can I endure a day on my feet without pain and the ensuing whimpering? I just wouldn't enjoy myself - no matter HOW happy WDW is, if I was in any fraction of the discomfort I was in just with this one mile today.
I know it has to get better (well... only if I keep it up). So I am now officially in training for a trip to Disney. It won't hurt, either, that my daughter's wedding is in September of next year and it will be nice to be in shape for that too! :)
Miriam
I went for my first full 1-mile walk this afternoon. Took well over an hour with all the stops I had to make to sit down and rest my body. I put it that way because in a cardio sense, I was crawling like a snail so there was no exertion, but my body was killing me - my quads, glutes, knees, back - everything. While I was walking I said I have been having this all wrong in terms of going to Disney.
First let me say, that Disney is my most favorite place to visit, and I have no argument against it calling itself "The Happiest Place on Earth." I have been to Europe, the Middle East, and many many US states - including Hawaii which is absolutely gorgeous, and Canada, and I'm sorry, friends - but there is NO where else I would rather be than Walt Disney World. So - that being said, let me just say that I am practically pining away with thoughts of going. I had to cancel a trip at Christmas, 2009 because I had just had rotator-cuff surgery on December 1st, and the trip was scheduled for the 13th. Then now my knee surgery.
I was thinking - oh when I lose weight that will be my reward. When I am back from my daughter's wedding (in Italy, no less) then I will save money and vacation time for my trip to Disney, etc. Well boy, did I have an eye-opener today about 1/4 way into my walk.
It has nothing to do with money, time off, rewards, etc. It has to do with - can I walk three miles without having to stop and call the paramedics? Granted, last time I went I used the old-lady scooter around Epcot and it made a HUGE difference in how I enjoyed that park, but the other parks (Magic Kingdom and Animal Kingdom) are not conducive to those scooters. As it is, I got dirty looks when using the scooter in Epcot - and those "roadways/streets" are as wide as 2-3 lane roads! With the tightness of the other parks I couldn't see myself scootering around.
So - call it a reward if you will, for all the hard work it is going to take, but the issue isn't money saved or weight lost. It's can I walk? Can I endure a day on my feet without pain and the ensuing whimpering? I just wouldn't enjoy myself - no matter HOW happy WDW is, if I was in any fraction of the discomfort I was in just with this one mile today.
I know it has to get better (well... only if I keep it up). So I am now officially in training for a trip to Disney. It won't hurt, either, that my daughter's wedding is in September of next year and it will be nice to be in shape for that too! :)
Miriam
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Good Saturday afternoon
I've had a couple of tough days with BOTH knees. First of all, on Wednesday night I had to take out the ice and ice before bed - which I haven't done in ages. The knee remained swollen on Thursday. When I went to physical therapy I was telling her that I can't imagine what I did to it - and her answer was "Do you know how rainy it's been?" So I guess even with a new joint I'm going to be sensitive to changes in the weather (which they told me months ago but didn't know I would have the swelling too!) for a long while.
My husband came to PT and learned how to do the stretch outs for my quads. He learned two different ones that work on different areas - something I cannot do on or to myself. I'm so grateful that his attentiveness to my needs has continued way beyond the acute recovery stage. I am very lucky!
The other reason I think my knees are bothering me is that I have been thinking for a long time that I am sensitive to sugar and that it is an inflammatory in my body that affects all my joints, but particularly my knees. The connection was made this week because after the funeral I went to my cousin's house and of course there was a huge spread of every pastry, cake, and cookie imaginable. I ate them. Then a day later I went back to her house - to face the same spread but all new things. I ate them. I really OD'd on sugar which I haven't done in a long time. It's also been a long time since BOTH knees hurt so much. (Okay some of it could have been the rain, but I know the sugar played some part.
In my healthier way of eating (all of about five days not including the sugar OD) I have been feeling much better sticking mostly to fruits, legumes and vegetables. So, I'm trying to pay more attention to what I'm eating - not just how much. I know from being a career dieter that processed sugars and flours (read: candies, cookies, cakes, pastries, etc.) send me in a downward spiral. I am one of those people who CANNOT have just a bite, or eat in moderation. I have always been most successful when I have cut these foods out of my eating plans. Now that I see that it also affects the pain level in my knees, it's all the more reason to pay attention.
Back to the knees, got the confirmation that the knee will be tight and somewhat swollen for a LONG time to come... that's why they give it a year before you can say you are really yourself. I also learned a new way to walk - the worst of it has been my fear that I am going to fall because my knee still "buckles." The therapist demonstrated the difference between leading with your head (and maybe looking down), and leading with your chest. I changed my posture several times, paid very close attention to my knees, and could absolutely feel a difference in them. It's this difference that causes the buckling, and if I am very conscious of walking upright I should greatly reduce any chance of buckling and falling.
Going over later today to decorate my mom's new room in the Alzheimer's unit (they are moving her in on Monday). With the new resolve to just stay sugar free and no other "rules" than that, I should ward off a lot of damage that I usually do with emotional eating. After all... pizza crust has sugar (never mind the flour!) and so does the sauce! And even fast food fries are brushed with dextrose when they come from the warehouse. The breading on onion rings has flour AND sugar... lol... I could go on...
Have a good weekend.
Miriam
My husband came to PT and learned how to do the stretch outs for my quads. He learned two different ones that work on different areas - something I cannot do on or to myself. I'm so grateful that his attentiveness to my needs has continued way beyond the acute recovery stage. I am very lucky!
The other reason I think my knees are bothering me is that I have been thinking for a long time that I am sensitive to sugar and that it is an inflammatory in my body that affects all my joints, but particularly my knees. The connection was made this week because after the funeral I went to my cousin's house and of course there was a huge spread of every pastry, cake, and cookie imaginable. I ate them. Then a day later I went back to her house - to face the same spread but all new things. I ate them. I really OD'd on sugar which I haven't done in a long time. It's also been a long time since BOTH knees hurt so much. (Okay some of it could have been the rain, but I know the sugar played some part.
In my healthier way of eating (all of about five days not including the sugar OD) I have been feeling much better sticking mostly to fruits, legumes and vegetables. So, I'm trying to pay more attention to what I'm eating - not just how much. I know from being a career dieter that processed sugars and flours (read: candies, cookies, cakes, pastries, etc.) send me in a downward spiral. I am one of those people who CANNOT have just a bite, or eat in moderation. I have always been most successful when I have cut these foods out of my eating plans. Now that I see that it also affects the pain level in my knees, it's all the more reason to pay attention.
Back to the knees, got the confirmation that the knee will be tight and somewhat swollen for a LONG time to come... that's why they give it a year before you can say you are really yourself. I also learned a new way to walk - the worst of it has been my fear that I am going to fall because my knee still "buckles." The therapist demonstrated the difference between leading with your head (and maybe looking down), and leading with your chest. I changed my posture several times, paid very close attention to my knees, and could absolutely feel a difference in them. It's this difference that causes the buckling, and if I am very conscious of walking upright I should greatly reduce any chance of buckling and falling.
Going over later today to decorate my mom's new room in the Alzheimer's unit (they are moving her in on Monday). With the new resolve to just stay sugar free and no other "rules" than that, I should ward off a lot of damage that I usually do with emotional eating. After all... pizza crust has sugar (never mind the flour!) and so does the sauce! And even fast food fries are brushed with dextrose when they come from the warehouse. The breading on onion rings has flour AND sugar... lol... I could go on...
Have a good weekend.
Miriam
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Still mighty chilly
You know the H-E-D-H-S freezing over from the post prior to this one? I was going to work this morning with the intention of using the aquatics center before work. I started out running early, but landed up running late because of a HUGE "NSV" - it is trash day and no one remembered to take things out last night. So before going to work *I* brought out all the recycling from the house to the recycling crate outside and brought it to the curb. Then I went upstairs into the house and brought out the trash to the trash can and brought that to the curb. Then I went upstairs AGAIN and brought out all my stuff for work. I had to laugh because it was the first time I'd had trash duty since before my surgery! I suppose.... a YIPPEE is in order.
Okay so I'm running late but my body is craving my stretches in the hot tub. All the way in I'm trying to talk myself out of this because I will have less than even 45 minutes to use the water because not only am I running late, but because of the later time, the traffic is worse. I'm running everything through my head over and over. I finally decided that no matter how the day unfolds I need to do my stretches. I also know that I will not do them on land. I tell myself that if I only use the hot tub and don't swim then I can shower from the neck down and not have to do my hair (a plus) but I will miss my favorite swimming time (a negative). I'm arguing with myself for at least 2 miles. My car automatically turns itself onto the street where I need to park - I don't know how it did that, but it did, and I found myself in the only open space in front of the door.
I go in and am totally in bliss as a lower myself into the hot tub. It took me a full half-hour to stretch, leaving me five minutes before the aquatics area closes. They blew the whistle to give the five minute warning and I took what I could get and went into the pool for a nice cool down (with no swimming).
As it turns out I had a lunch-time staff meeting that I had forgotten about, so it is so perfect that I went this morning when I did. I think I really am going to make a commitment to go in the mornings instead of at lunch (because I also need my lunch hour free in order to visit my mother when I can). I am also going to make sure that the trash and recycling are brought to the curb the night before pickup!
Food-wise, I have been enjoying lighter eating. I had my usual laughing cow cheese with cucumber slices on Wasa crackers and a coffee for breakfast. For lunch I had tuna and light mayo, a LOVELY salad, and fruit salad for lunch. On the way home I was so hungry but talked myself into waiting until I got home to eat (no easy feat since I had to make one stop to get a headlight replaced, and a second stop to get a tire replaced). I made turkey meatballs with light and chunky spaghetti sauce, over whole wheat pasta. I'm due another fruit before the day is out, and if I really "need" it I will make some hot air popcorn.
So, all in all, a good healthy day!
Miriam
Okay so I'm running late but my body is craving my stretches in the hot tub. All the way in I'm trying to talk myself out of this because I will have less than even 45 minutes to use the water because not only am I running late, but because of the later time, the traffic is worse. I'm running everything through my head over and over. I finally decided that no matter how the day unfolds I need to do my stretches. I also know that I will not do them on land. I tell myself that if I only use the hot tub and don't swim then I can shower from the neck down and not have to do my hair (a plus) but I will miss my favorite swimming time (a negative). I'm arguing with myself for at least 2 miles. My car automatically turns itself onto the street where I need to park - I don't know how it did that, but it did, and I found myself in the only open space in front of the door.
I go in and am totally in bliss as a lower myself into the hot tub. It took me a full half-hour to stretch, leaving me five minutes before the aquatics area closes. They blew the whistle to give the five minute warning and I took what I could get and went into the pool for a nice cool down (with no swimming).
As it turns out I had a lunch-time staff meeting that I had forgotten about, so it is so perfect that I went this morning when I did. I think I really am going to make a commitment to go in the mornings instead of at lunch (because I also need my lunch hour free in order to visit my mother when I can). I am also going to make sure that the trash and recycling are brought to the curb the night before pickup!
Food-wise, I have been enjoying lighter eating. I had my usual laughing cow cheese with cucumber slices on Wasa crackers and a coffee for breakfast. For lunch I had tuna and light mayo, a LOVELY salad, and fruit salad for lunch. On the way home I was so hungry but talked myself into waiting until I got home to eat (no easy feat since I had to make one stop to get a headlight replaced, and a second stop to get a tire replaced). I made turkey meatballs with light and chunky spaghetti sauce, over whole wheat pasta. I'm due another fruit before the day is out, and if I really "need" it I will make some hot air popcorn.
So, all in all, a good healthy day!
Miriam
Monday, September 5, 2011
REALLY new knee new me!
Okay so - H-E-double hockey sticks has finally frozen over. I got into the car and on my day OFF, I drove the entire commute to where I work (an hour each way - even without traffic!) to go to the gym. The whole weekend I was longing for the hot tub and the pool. But not just to be in them - I was DYING to do my stretches and swim and feel good (and drink my water - which is SO easy when I'm sitting in the 104 degree hot tub). I just don't feel like doing the stretches on land - they feel SO good in the hot water. So I was 1/2 hour in the tub stretching, then swam 10 full laps (the most I've done since before surgery), and decompressed my knee for 3 minutes (that's just hanging in the deep water, letting your joints open up). I could have swum much longer but I remember when I first went into the pool during my recovery and things felt so good I way over did it and paid the piper the next day. My plan is to swim 10 laps this week, then increase by 2 laps every week until I am back to my mile of swimming (I can't remember how many laps - I have to look it up but I think it's about 30 or so).
So not only has H-E-D-H-S (see above! lol) frozen over but I think I saw some pigs flying overhead several times today. As I was sitting last night running food choices through my head last night (and again this morning) I felt such a great sadness mingled with HUGE confusion because - although my weight didn't waiver an ounce the entire three months I was sitting home with my tush glued to the recliner - I GAINED six pounds since starting officially dieting a few weeks ago (after immediately losing those same six pounds). Dieting just drives me up a wall (and over and down the other side, through five fields, across the lake, and up and down 1/2 dozen more walls).
I always felt that, since I am a career diet (mom dropped me off at a WW meeting when I was 16 years old to give THAT diet a try) I absolutely know what to eat and how much to eat. Further, I have a fairly healthy lifestyle (well, for where I am right now with my limited exercise) that it's just insane that I yo-yo and cycle through the same 10 pounds. We don't eat processed foods, I barely have any junk in the house (*I* don't buy it but my husband might come home with cookies and chips), I know all about portion size, etc. But - and especially with the stress I have been under lately - I eat beyond dinner, and I am susceptible to emotional eating (remember the pizza, onion ring and chips post a few back???) and I eat at night. - it might not even be junk just more of whatever I have eaten during the day.
So I feel I've had a big turn-around with the help of two chat friends just today. This turn around perfectly matches my turn around in terms of doing my exercises. First of all, Jenn turned me on to the following site:
http://www.wheatfreemeatfree.com/. I am not committed to be a vegetarian, but I have been thinking so much about it lately - especially since my most favorite recipes are vegetarian and I have naturally been weaning myself off red meat. The site is so fantastic I immediately made the split pea soup and the red cabbage salad. The second help was that I was talking to my chat friend Trish, and telling her my hardest time is at night, and she suggested that I actually have something ready for the evening. So I dusted off my hot-air popcorn maker, and took out my container of organic kernels that had been hiding in the far recesses of my cabinet.
I think that if I'm feeling better physically it will be easier to eat smart. And, if I'm eating smart it will be easier to keep up with my exercises. My other tactic is that I am going to try to have a substantial hot soup ready (or at least available) so that's what I can have when I walk through the door from work. None of those clear broths - but something like I just made (split pea) or lentil or bean soup. Better yet, if I could have dinner ready then I really have a chance... Also, in spite of having lunch just before going into the pool, I was ready for the after-pool hunger: I was armed with apples and diet Snapple!
I think I might be getting a handle on this....:)
Miriam
So not only has H-E-D-H-S (see above! lol) frozen over but I think I saw some pigs flying overhead several times today. As I was sitting last night running food choices through my head last night (and again this morning) I felt such a great sadness mingled with HUGE confusion because - although my weight didn't waiver an ounce the entire three months I was sitting home with my tush glued to the recliner - I GAINED six pounds since starting officially dieting a few weeks ago (after immediately losing those same six pounds). Dieting just drives me up a wall (and over and down the other side, through five fields, across the lake, and up and down 1/2 dozen more walls).
I always felt that, since I am a career diet (mom dropped me off at a WW meeting when I was 16 years old to give THAT diet a try) I absolutely know what to eat and how much to eat. Further, I have a fairly healthy lifestyle (well, for where I am right now with my limited exercise) that it's just insane that I yo-yo and cycle through the same 10 pounds. We don't eat processed foods, I barely have any junk in the house (*I* don't buy it but my husband might come home with cookies and chips), I know all about portion size, etc. But - and especially with the stress I have been under lately - I eat beyond dinner, and I am susceptible to emotional eating (remember the pizza, onion ring and chips post a few back???) and I eat at night. - it might not even be junk just more of whatever I have eaten during the day.
So I feel I've had a big turn-around with the help of two chat friends just today. This turn around perfectly matches my turn around in terms of doing my exercises. First of all, Jenn turned me on to the following site:
http://www.wheatfreemeatfree.com/. I am not committed to be a vegetarian, but I have been thinking so much about it lately - especially since my most favorite recipes are vegetarian and I have naturally been weaning myself off red meat. The site is so fantastic I immediately made the split pea soup and the red cabbage salad. The second help was that I was talking to my chat friend Trish, and telling her my hardest time is at night, and she suggested that I actually have something ready for the evening. So I dusted off my hot-air popcorn maker, and took out my container of organic kernels that had been hiding in the far recesses of my cabinet.
I think that if I'm feeling better physically it will be easier to eat smart. And, if I'm eating smart it will be easier to keep up with my exercises. My other tactic is that I am going to try to have a substantial hot soup ready (or at least available) so that's what I can have when I walk through the door from work. None of those clear broths - but something like I just made (split pea) or lentil or bean soup. Better yet, if I could have dinner ready then I really have a chance... Also, in spite of having lunch just before going into the pool, I was ready for the after-pool hunger: I was armed with apples and diet Snapple!
I think I might be getting a handle on this....:)
Miriam
Thursday, September 1, 2011
The fog is clearing....
After scaring myself with that "driven" eating behavior I have been doing well the past couple of days. I also have worked out some hunger triggers that, if I plan well enough, won't send me into a downward spiral. For instance, I realized that I MUST have a snack before going to the gym and also have something ready in the car for afterward. I also have to have something before leaving work and heading home. And I also know that peanut butter and whole grains hold me well - so today before leaving work I am going to have Wasa bread crackers (a whole grain thick, hard "cracker") with freshly ground almond butter and a touch of Polaner's All Fruit. I also have a bottle of water in the car that was frozen solid this morning, but should be the perfect temp this afternoon.
I also tried a different tact with the gym. Instead of going at my lunch hour (where I am so hungry before and after), I went before work right after breakfast. It was PERFECT! I also am in a nice routine now - I started with 20 minutes of serious stretching in the hot tub, then swam in the "big girl" pool, keeping up with the other swimmers in the lane (since surgery I had been doing my laps in the recreation pool which is short and shallow). I was so stiff after my stretches in the tub (which really surprised me - I would think everything would be nice and loose - but I think what happened is that things got swollen) - but after the swim in the cool pool, things felt better. I am just going to trust the process and not worry that I am doing something wrong - because I know I am not!
A little further contemplation about life today. My aunt (my mother's almost 100-year-old) sister died in her sleep during the night. We know it was coming, and I am glad she went peacefully, but between that loss and what is going on with my mother I figured I can take either of two roads: (1) I can not take the best care of myself because... what the heck? it's all going to be coming to an end anyway.... OR (2) I can take the best care of myself and have every minute on this earth be as healthy as I can make it. I think I'll pick #2, thank you. Especially - I think of my mother who is in excellent health. What would my life be like if, in addition to her Alzheimer's disease, she was also sick - needing a wheelchair, needing medication, being in pain, etc. I don't want that for my children if I can help it. I'm grateful that my mother took such good care of herself. She cannot help what is happening to her mind, but at least she didn't burden herself or others with poor physical health.
So - it's stretches, swimming, walking, and healthy eating for me! (And as clear a mind as possible!) Thank you for your comments on my last blog - sometimes cyber-hugs feel as warm and caring as in-person ones.
Miriam
I also tried a different tact with the gym. Instead of going at my lunch hour (where I am so hungry before and after), I went before work right after breakfast. It was PERFECT! I also am in a nice routine now - I started with 20 minutes of serious stretching in the hot tub, then swam in the "big girl" pool, keeping up with the other swimmers in the lane (since surgery I had been doing my laps in the recreation pool which is short and shallow). I was so stiff after my stretches in the tub (which really surprised me - I would think everything would be nice and loose - but I think what happened is that things got swollen) - but after the swim in the cool pool, things felt better. I am just going to trust the process and not worry that I am doing something wrong - because I know I am not!
A little further contemplation about life today. My aunt (my mother's almost 100-year-old) sister died in her sleep during the night. We know it was coming, and I am glad she went peacefully, but between that loss and what is going on with my mother I figured I can take either of two roads: (1) I can not take the best care of myself because... what the heck? it's all going to be coming to an end anyway.... OR (2) I can take the best care of myself and have every minute on this earth be as healthy as I can make it. I think I'll pick #2, thank you. Especially - I think of my mother who is in excellent health. What would my life be like if, in addition to her Alzheimer's disease, she was also sick - needing a wheelchair, needing medication, being in pain, etc. I don't want that for my children if I can help it. I'm grateful that my mother took such good care of herself. She cannot help what is happening to her mind, but at least she didn't burden herself or others with poor physical health.
So - it's stretches, swimming, walking, and healthy eating for me! (And as clear a mind as possible!) Thank you for your comments on my last blog - sometimes cyber-hugs feel as warm and caring as in-person ones.
Miriam
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