a REAL lazy Sunday

I have a very bad cold today and have felt like doing absolutely nothing.  My knee is so tight that I promised myself I will at least do my stair lunges and a bit of the bike before the day is over.  Even though it's not likely to happen I have this fear in my mind that if I skip my "stuff" for more than a day all of a sudden it's all going to snap back to my ROM (range of motion) that I had before my manipulation.  I know logically that I probably won't even lose a degree - except from stiffness but that won't be a true loss of degree - but I still can't shake the fear.

I remember a couple of months ago when my therapist wrote across my exercise sheet "CONQUER THE FEAR."  She was talking about the fear of doing something because of pain, but now I am suffering a different fear.  Maybe it comes from being discharged from physical therapy and being on my own. The fear is that I won't progress and that I will go backwards.  I know that it can happen with people who do not faithfully do their exercises and stretches at the very beginning of recovery, and that now missing a day or two because of a cold is not going to send me back to week 5 of my recovery... it's irrational, I know. 

It's just so daunting.  When I had my rotator cuff surgery, once I was done with PT I was done.  I didn't slip back because I didn't do specific exercises and stretches.  I actually did NOTHING once I finished PT and now I would never even know anything was wrong with my shoulder.  But I don't think the knee is going to be like that.  I think I will always have to be vigilant.  And that scares me.  I'm not a particularly vigilant person or I wouldn't have been in this predicament in the first place.

I know my weight had a lot to do with my arthritis, as well as my lack of dedicated exercise that would have strengthened the muscles that would have aided the knee in doing its work.  Even thin people who exercise have osteoarthritis, and bone-on-bone, so I can't totally beat myself up for my condition.  I'm just saying that as active as I am trying to be (and than you all for your kudos on that) it's still not natural and not something I enjoy more than sitting in my recliner and watching TV.

Oh boy... is this a pity-party day or what?  I know it's because I'm feeling under the weather.  But with my defenses down, I speak the truth....  I only hope the weather this week is bright and sunny because I sure don't need any extra aches and pains... lol

Miriam