The beauty of easing into things

Like the proverbial putting frogs into cold water then turning up the heat - they never notice that they are boiling! LOL  That just came to mind as I was reflecting on Day 2 of the "21-day transformation challenge" from Mark Sisson's book (based on the Primal Solution).  Day 1 was doing a purge of grains, fake foods, sugared items, etc.  DONE!   Day 2 (today) is a shopping spree to restock the kitchen: DONE!  Etc.  As I am reading all the food tasks I find that I am already there, and can concentrate on the other two essential parts of the program: exercise and relaxation techniques.    Food is only part of the changes to be made.

This morning I did the recumbent bike for 10 minutes.  I figured that even *I* could manage that.  At the end of 10 minutes I would have been comfortable doing more (that is the point) but was already one foot out the door to get to work.  I will do another 10 minutes tonight.  Also, because I am at work today, I will do the four flights down and up.  After the new year I would like to increase both activities.  Also, yesterday, I parked at one place and walked to the other (Flo if you are reading this: I parked at Walgreen's and walked to Trader Joe's).  I am also making an effort not to use handicap parking, and to park further away from my destination.  There will be days that I just cannot do this (or if I do, I will have to use my cane or lean on a shopping cart) but on the good days I will go for it!  It is nice to have the placard for bad days but I will try not to use it as a matter of regular parking.  Baby steps... literally!

On the cooking front I tried several new recipes since last posting.  I made a "pizza" frittata - OMG out of this world - I am making another one tonight.  It starts with a homemade pizza sauce.  That is added to a dozen eggs, along with a bit of Parmesan and mozzarella cheeses.  Then split: Canadian bacon, pepperoni, onions, mushrooms and peppers - mix half of those in with the eggs and let it set in the pan, then move the pan to the oven.  After 10 minutes top with the other half of the mixture and top with a touch of mozzarella and bake another 10 minutes.  I got the Canadian bacon and pepperoni from Whole Foods, so it was all processed from healthy sources and with minimal ingredients. 

Then last night I made a center-cut pork loin (my first time!) rubbed with garam masala and salt - browned in a cast iron pan, then pan and all put to roast in the oven.  It was topped with an Asian pear chutney made with, of course, Asian pears (lol), onions, raisins, and a mixture of spices.  Because it was my first time making a pork loin I didn't know that I either needed a meat thermometer or could have put it in the crock pot.  It was fine for me but my husband thought it was a little dry.  Oh - and after the pork comes out of the oven you let it "rest" 20 minutes while you put sliced carrots back in the pan in the oven to roast. 

I have to say that it was the most expensive piece of meat I have ever bought (it was over $25) but when I look at what I am spending to buy top quality, I weigh that against the fact that I have not been buying ANY junk food (even "innocent" things like taco chips) or diet soda, and I have not done take-out in over two months.  I think my savings is FAR more than my expenses of shopping the way I am.  Or, at the very least, it evens out.  But in terms of evening out, the pizza frittata even with the Whole Foods pepperoni and Canadian bacon and cage-free eggs,  came to less than $2 per serving - and it was a main course!  So if I spend $30 on one dinner and $10 on another, to feed the whole family (with PLENTY of leftovers) I say, not a bad deal. 

In defense, also, of shopping at a place like Whole Foods: I have been shopping according to my shopping list.  Plenty of times I go in and things are so deeply discounted (meats, poultry AND fish) that if I were shopping "on a whim" I probably would spend less than at a conventional grocery store.  They have monthly "madness" sales (which just used to be "March Madness" but now they are year-round) along with circulars, so now that I shop there more often I will plan out according to sales.  You also can't beat the bulk sales there, along with the very inexpensive local produce they carry in season.  I suppose a lot of the discounted shopping depends upon when you hit the market, but now that I go there for my primary shopping, I can pay more attention to the sales.

Not that I have to defend shopping at Whole Foods, but I feel the need to explain myself!  It doesn't HAVE to be "Whole Paycheck" as people joke about.  Yes they have plenty of junk there (organic marshmallows are just as junky as conventional marshmallows) but if you are shopping the fresh foods there, I would name the store "Whole Health" more than I would name it "Whole Paycheck." 

Anyway!  Off to make sure I have what I need for some Christmas goodies (all Primal/Paleo) I am making!

Have a wonderful holiday, anyone celebrating the day!

Miriam

Trying not to succumb to diet mentality

First of all, let me say, that there is nothing inherently wrong with diet mentality if it makes you aware of what you are eating and helps you to make smarter choices.  The problem arises (as it does with me) when it becomes the overwhelming dictator of one's life.  And one is either good or bad depending upon whether one has followed or not followed the diet du jour.  My life has been painfully defined by my dieting attempts and I have nothing to show for it but a whacked-out metabolism and a somewhat faulty self-image.  Oh, and I'm fatter than I ever have been. 

So with that, I have been quite relieved to enter the world of no weighing/measuring/food journaling through the new way I have been eating.  However, all of a sudden I got such a strong urge to fit my new eating into conventional dieting tools.  I went to My Fitness Pal and logged my food for today - which - even including a treat in the evening - is still way below my calorie total for the day (I am sure that will be filled in, no problem!).  I even put in two recipes that I am having today and tomorrow - one is for a cookie, which comes to about 100 calories even with all its deliciousness! - and the other is for a stew using 2 1/2 pounds of beef, which, that alone, is close to 2000 calories (but per serving is less than 300). 

I guess this confirmed two things for me: I absolutely CAN trust myself to make good meal choices; and cutting out processed-type starches really does allow tons of other real food so there is no need to be hungry or worry that I will consume thousands and thousands of  calories.

However, I did learn something interesting this weekend.  As I mentioned in an earlier blog I worked very hard this Summer and Fall to break free from emotional eating and to break my addiction-like tendencies towards sugar and a myriad of processed foods (bread, potato chips, you all know what they are!).  But yesterday I made the most YUMMY gluten-free banana bread.  The entire recipe used just 3 TBS of honey and very little coconut and almond flour - just to hold it together.  OH MY...  I realized that my craziness extends not just to the ingredients that an item might have, but to the IDEA of a food.  I had just one small piece of the banana bread and I wanted it ALL - immediately.  Of course I didn't, but I did have more than the one initial piece.  I realized that something doesn't need white flour and a ton of sugar to get me going... just the IDEA of a sweet is enough to get me going!  So although calorie-wise, the banana bread really won't do much damage (well one piece of it anyway), I am not going to have any more while it is in the house. 

I think that breaking free from emotional eating is not coming to a place where nothing will ever set you off again.  I think that it is that you now have awareness of what will set you off, and you can plan accordingly.  It is the mindfulness that sets you free, not that nothing will ever trigger you again.

Miriam
p.s. What about that cookie, you ask?  More on that later! :)

Stevia hunt

Okay, so I decided if I am doing all these virtuous things like eating grass fed beef , locally grown pork products, free range chickens and eggs, organic dairy, etc., that it would behoove me to stop the other poison going into my body on a regular basis.  Yes, she says (hanging her head in shame), I have gone back to diet soda, after having it out of my repertoire for so long.  I can almost deal with that, as I drink sparkling waters to get my fizz on.  The bigger problem is my coffee and tea, both of which I have tried without artificial sweetener (or sugar) and just feel like I am drinking boiled water and nothing else.  To me the sweetener brings out the taste of the beverage much like salt brings out the natural flavor of a food.  So yesterday I went on a hunt for Stevia.

Let me say, that, I am one of the people of the universe who has sensitive receptors toward Stevia. I knew this years ago even before the science, and gave up using it.  For me Stevia leaves a licorice taste - which even though I happen to like licorice I don't like it in my coffee.  But I thought that maybe it just takes getting used to like any other new flavor.  So yesterday I went to Whole Foods... oh my goodness - there were maybe 8 different Stevia products.  What I learned is that they ALL (but one, which I bought) have additives from maltose, dextrose and agave to "natural flavorings" and fiber supplement.  I suppose these are all to either bulk up the product or take away some of the bitterness.  At the amount used, it still all comes to zero calories, but I just didn't want anything else but the Stevia.  I finally settled on Whole Foods Stevia powdered extract. 

One little canister (the size of a spice bottle) was $8.99, but the dispensing spoon it comes with is about 1/32nd of a teaspoon, if that. (I am reminded of the tiny saccharin tablets that used to fizz up in hot drinks!)  So the bottle should last much longer than any 100-package box of the other products.  Of course, I could just learn to drink my beverages without sugar! 

Anyway, last night I made some nice recipes.  I made a sausage and egg casserole - in a pie plate with 8 slices.  There were 3 slices left this morning, and I know my Vinnie didn't get into it!  I also made some marvelous chicken - very simple - just using spice blends that I made up from Practical Paleo.  I put a different blend on each piece of chicken and just baked.  If I get home early enough today I am going to roast a chicken using an herb/citrus recipe from Against All Grain.  I am just really loving my new cookbooks!  Because we are expecting snow this weekend I did my weekly grocery shopping last night and so also picked up ingredients for a chili chuck stew for Saturday, and breakfast cookies - which I am hoping will be my go-to evening snack with tea  (both also from Against All Grain).

The only other thing (well ONE of the only other things) that I have to tackle is exercise.  I had my son bring my recumbent bike upstairs to in front of one of the televisions, and I swear, if I can use Stevia, I can use the bike.  My goal is 1/2 hour moderate cycling every day. 

Oh they are showing the weekend weather... So glad I have all my cooking ingredients and don't have to leave my house this weekend!  Hope you are all safe and sound and enjoy your own weekends.

Miriam

Having to find some variety

The only thing I am having some difficulty with is finding something to eat when I just want a "little something."  Mostly I am not hungry at night (as the proteins and fats really fill me up from dinner) but I know that sometimes if I go to bed without eating I will get up during the night.  Sometimes nuts or an egg just won't do it - I WANT TOAST! lol 

I am spending this afternoon going through a couple of cookbooks to find snack-y things for when I need a really small meal but not a meal.  I do make a really nice mixture of 1 TBS flaked coconut, 1 TBS pistachio nut "meats" and 1 TBS of Macadamia nuts and maybe 1 TBS of raisins.  It is a tiny amount, but very filling.  However, I would like a few other go-to choices for the evening. 

In addition to giving my kitchen a work-over (it's really not a make-over because I am not doing anything to it structurally - at least not until I get my new counter) I also brought up my mother's china cabinet that I have had down the basement since my knee surgery in May 2011.  It is so incredibly beautiful (and completes the dining set that I have of hers) and I put in my dishes, which I love to pieces. 

So anyway, taking the dishes out of a storage cabinet allowed me now to move all my small appliances over to where the dishes were.  Then, moving around some cans to a further-away cabinet, I was able to put my spices nearer to the stove:

So all in all, a productive few days!

Anyway - off to make my grocery list!

Miriam

Good Monday morning

Afternoon actually!  I am enjoying my lasagna made with zucchini sliced very thin like lasagna noodles.  No cheese in it either - don't miss either the noodles or the cheese!  Of course, except for the fact that it is layered and almost looks like lasagna (but not, because of no cheese on top) I would have to call it a vegetable and meat casserole instead!  No matter! The flavors are wonderful and a small portion is incredibly satisfying.  I had to run out for fresh basil and it was well worth it.  I have the rest of the bunch drying as I am out of dried basil anyway.  It calls for a pound of beef and a pound of italian sausage, which I used - but I have a wonderful sausage spice blend and so next time I will use two pounds of the beef (I buy 90+% lean) and the seasoning.

Which is a perfect segue into something I am adjusting right now.  Not all calories are created equal: 100 calories from a snack pack are not the same quality as 100 calories from an apple.  HOWEVER, that being said, I will gain weight on 3000 calories and lose weight on 1500, so calories DO count!  I also am in agreement with the fact that saturated fats are not the TOTAL  villains they are made out to be.  However, I think they are not healthy in excess, and not healthy if they are from unhealthy sources (such as nitrate and chemically laden bacon).  Now keep in mind that this is my opinion and what I am most comfortable with.  I feel that some of the recipes I have been making from my Paleo cookbooks don't need as much fat as called for, or that fat can be drained after cooking. 

This thinking all ties into my feelings about not following any diet (or lifestyle) dogma, but to take the best of several things and meld it into something that is comfortable - and reasonable - for myself.  Someone asked me why I am diving into so many Paleo cookbooks if I am not following Paleo dogma.  The reason is that I looked at several gluten-free cookbooks and the majority of them either had GF substitutes for the real thing, or used other grains/legumes in abundance.  Since I am not looking for substitutes, and am staying away from grains and legumes as part of an auto-immune protocol, the GF cookbooks are not for me.

In the Paleo cookbook camp, my family has absolutely LOVED every recipe that I have made so far.  Last night I made apple shallot pork chops and  a cabbage side dish made with onions, pancetta and raisins.  I have also found that I am so incredibly comfortable with the recipes in these cookbooks because the food is whole and healthy, and the way I love to cook and eat anyway.  I do not miss grains or legumes at all (and neither does my family)! 

The only things I have had NO luck with have been my couple of tries at Paleo treats.  One was a total failure (in my eyes, although my son liked it) and last night I made a chocolate coconut macaroon.  My husband didn't think it was sweet enough (it was made with honey, not sugar) but my son did like them.  Me - I didn't care for them and actually had the whole tray hovering over the trashcan this morning, but my son stopped me.  I will hold onto them another couple of days then ditch them.

The interesting thing here is that I melted some chocolate chips to frost some of them (hoping that would add a little sweetness for my husband's liking) and of course I snitched a few chips.  OMG - I couldn't have had more than 6 of them and not only was I nauseous, but during the night I woke up with a real hungry feeling - that used to come after a night of  sugar/flour indulgence, which always wreaked havoc on my blood sugar.  I think I keep looking to see if grain and sugar free is REALLY real for me... I don't know how much more convincing it will take!

My concern right now is that I do want to lose weight.  I think that eating this way with reasonable portions will accomplish that, even if the weight loss is slow.  In early January I will repeat all my blood tests - without the statins and with this new eating path, and that will be the test regardless of what the scale says.

Dinner tonight is the leftover pork chops - which my husband, the chef, had me put back in a slow oven for about two hours... he assured me it will soften the meat to be like short ribs and not toughen it into shoe leather.  We shall see....

Miriam

Overhauling cooking = overhauling kitchen

Now that I am trying all sorts of new recipes (and putting others to bed) I find that I need better access to my spices, herbs and small appliances.  I also find that I have to clear out the old to welcome in the new.  One of my dance troupe cohorts is a wonderful organizer and after our rehearsal yesterday she listened to my kitchen needs and started me on projects.  My main feeling was that my kitchen is closing in on me - it has gotten to where there is so much out and out of place that I can't even clean it anymore.  This spills over to my dining room - which I want so much more for than is there.  I was showing her all my cabinets and she spotted an old decrepit crock pot and asked why did I have that after showing her the nice new one that I have ... I held my head in shame as I explained that there was even a third one behind the one she was seeing.  (The minute she left I took the two old crock pots down and put them for Goodwill and made the trip immediately before I would change my mind.)

So my accomplishments yesterday were to get rid of not only the crock pots but tons of other old stuff in the back of the deep cabinets that I have not used in the 20+ years that I have lived here.  Then I went through my broom closet and got rid of the hundreds of plastic bags that were stuffed into every nook and cranny (OMG I felt like someone from one of the hoarder shows) and brought those to bag recycling at the supermarket.  Then once the bags were gone I was able to move the broom and Swifter mops that were in the corner of the diningroom and put them in the broom closet - Imagine that!

Then I took all the canned goods from the cabinet over my work area, and moved those to a farther (but easily accessible) cabinet, made a trip to get spice racks (the ones that are like steps) and filled that entire cabinet with all my herbs and spices instead of the cans.  Then I have dozens of beautiful storage containers that are now empty (having gotten rid of all my assortment of grains) and moved those to the upper dead space of the cabinets, further clearing off my counter tops.

Today I am going to have my son and husband bring up the china closet that matches my dining room set (I have had it in my house for two years down the basement because I didn't see how it fit into the dining room - thank you Andrea for your wonderful visions!) - once I move my dishes to the china cabinet I will now have free space to put all my smaller appliances that were cluttering the counter tops or were stored in places that were very hard to reach.  (As I glance over to where the china cabinet is going, I'm not sure I will like it... but I won't know until it is there.)

But the best part of all this is, once I told her my hopes and dreams for my kitchen (lol - well not THAT dramatic...) turns out that her partner is a carpenter and I have already heard back from her that he will come over this week and measure for the counter that I have always wanted instead of a kitchen table!  Dreams into action... whatta concept! LOL

So anyway, it has been a productive weekend, all with an eye to a dietary lifestyle change.  I really feel that the physical change in my kitchen is so necessary to meet the change in my cooking style.

Looking forward to changes!
Miriam

Trusting the process....

Hi Everyone - just spoke with a friend (KCalla from Dotties) and worked some things out in my head with regard to this blog.  I have decided to start writing again.  After going through my summer bucket list I had a hiatus - not from working, just from writing.  I went through two very intense personal programs by Karly Randolph Pitman (Growing Human Kindness and Untangled)  which helped me help myself get to the end of my sugar addiction and for the most part, to the end of my emotional eating.  It was a long hard (and eye-opening) journey, but I've come out the tunnel and into the light and am ready to move on. Neither was easy (giving up sugar and ending emotional eating) and I acknowledge that I might only be a visitor with those two concepts, rather than a permanent resident, but I am comfortable enough where I am. If I stay long enough, I will put down new roots!

At the heels of giving up sugar (in May) I also gave up gluten in September.  I know there is a lot of hype about gluten intolerance (and indeed, if you don't have celiac disease, the jury is still out on whether or not you are actually even sensitive to gluten) but anecdotal evidence was enough to get me to try it.  Within days of no gluten, the stiffness in my hands disappeared, and I was able to get out of the car after an hour's commute and just walk... no stretching, no limping, no holding on to the car till I got my bearings.  I still do have joint pain, so I am not saying IT'S A MIRACLE!!!!!!!, but the stiffness is pretty much gone and I am so grateful for that.  Let's me hope that a reduction in my arthritis pain (at this point in many parts of my body) might be in my future.

I am also struggling with Hashimoto's disease (a thyroid autoimmune condition).  My thyroid tests are absolutely within normal range, but I still have low thyroid symptoms (not the least of which is spotty alopecia areata another autoimmune issue - probably not noticeable to anyone but me, but I do notice the spots where you can see straight through to my scalp.  If I do my hair just right, I almost don't notice!  So anyway, I have all these thyroid symptoms but my tests are normal, which led me to the book: Why Do I Still Have Thyroid Symptoms?  Working through this book, one of the things the author says is the best thing for autoimmune conditions - and specifically Hashimoto's - is to eat in a Paleo way.  (No links on that - by now EVERYONE knows what Paleo is!)  I had already given up all gluten and sugar so I figured, I might as well take the next step.

For about 2-3 weeks now, I have had no grains or legumes, and that has been the biggest change for me.  I can't say that I have been following the total "Paleo lifestyle" but I have modified a lot of what and how I have been eating, and feel MUCH better overall.  The reason I am not going Paleo (or Primal) all the way is that, one of the reasons for my success with Pitman's programs was that I had to really work hard to forgive myself for all the time and money I spent on (at least) 50 different diets. I realize now that they were attempts to care for myself, and can let the anger go.  Part of the problem was that I bought into the dogma hook-line-and-sinker of all these diets, which were proclaimed "life styles" and I refuse to do that ever again. Another thing Karly teaches is the mantra "I will no longer wage war against myself."  That means being KIND to myself.  Too much of the various dieting dogmas are just plain harsh and unkind.  Being kind means eating foods and quantities that make my body hum.  It also means being open to rejecting things that a diet-lifestyle dogma insists upon.

I don't (for now) eat grains or legumes.  I do not eat processed foods.Yes, I define processed a little more liberally than a raw food down-home farmer would, such as I will used processed ghee rather than make my own; eat canned tomatoes; use bottled spices - and if you think of it... these are ALL processed!  It's the degree to which they processed and whether there are additives in them.  I DO have caffeine, I DO have diary - but for the most part limited to 1/2 cup of organic milk for my one cappuccino a day, and my 2 tablespoons of cream for my one regular coffee. 

I have switched to a grass-fed beef and lamb, wild-caught fish, free range chicken, and any pork products without nitrates (can we say bacon? lol).  I innocently asked the guy at the Whole Foods meat counter if he had any grass fed pork.  When he stopped laughing he explained that pigs don't eat grass! LOL ... but that all the meat they carry is antibiotic free, and whatever other considerations there might be to top quality meats.  I get omega-3 free range eggs, organic dairy (when I do buy it) and organic fruits and vegetables if they are warranted. 

So in many ways I have shifted my diet and lifestyle, and I am feeling 100% better for it.  I am thoroughly enjoying all my new Paleo cookbooks: Against All Grain, Practical Paleo - which was my first book, and ALL Sarah Fragoso's Every Day Paleo books - especially her very first in the Around the World Series, on Italian Cooking.

I am still working very hard on ditching the diet mentality.  My clothes are looser and I feel terrific, but the scale isn't budging - which makes me (as recently as this morning) want to take all my new recipes, put them into some sort of recipe builder (either calories or WW Points) and start weighing and measuring everything that goes into my mouth.  I had to take a step back and realize that I have to trust the process, and, more importantly, trust myself.  I remember one of my blogs from AGES ago where I said that all I want to do is learn to trust myself and to listen to my body.  I am still there.  The difference is that I feel now that I have the tools to see it through.

I know - as Babs has said for herself - that blogging really keeps me grounded in the process.  So here I am, back again - but with a REAL new me to go with that new knee! 

Miriam

Is it the end of summer already?

I know that the first day of Fall is not until September 22, but working in academia, today signals the end of summer.  Students back to school - between school buses, move-in day for college students, and people coming back from vacation, this morning's commute took over 1 1/2 hours.   The end of summer, indeed....

I am happy to say that I accomplished my summer bucket list!  I took that horseback riding lesson, and enjoyed kayaking so much that I am now the proud owner of my very own pink life jacket!  I also enjoyed every summer day as I promised I would.  Yet, still and all, I feel as though it passed in a blink of an eye - was there even a summer this year? 

When I was lamenting that winter is tomorrow, a friend asked me - what about the Fall?  Honestly, this time of year had always been my favorite until those 1 1/2 hour commutes started taking place in the ice and the snow.  Then all I could feel at Labor Day was dread at the looming winter.

Perhaps I need an autumn bucket list so that I can mindfully enjoy this season instead of being so upset that Summer is over and Winter is on the horizon.

Last year at this time I was in Italy, looking forward to the wedding (anniversary is tomorrow!) with nary a thought of winter.  Well, I can't hop, skip and jump to Italy so I will have to think of something else!  Any suggestions?

Anyway - happy day after Labor Day, and I wish you all a wonderful September....

Miriam

p.s. Not everything on the bucket list, though.  We didn't get any day trips in - maybe next year, Flo!

Reclaiming my life

I did go for my kayaking lesson.  Then went again with a friend. And then again alone. And bought a season pass and am signing up for some of the scheduled guided tours (one is pictured above, of Boston Harbor).  As I was paddling on the Charles River yesterday I realized why no track or treadmill could take the place of my love of walking outdoors, and which I  no longer do to the extent or speed that I used to (in spite of many dedicated efforts).  Being outdoors in nature, in the elements, is really what I love - the vehicle for it (walking or kayaking) is beside the point! 

What I hope to get out of the kayaking experience - beside the exercise it provides... and believe me, it does: and I am SO hungry when I get off the water that I know I am truly working and expending calories... is the ability to reclaim my life.  I am doing this on many levels.

One is the pure physical level - it's good to be out working my body, proving to myself that I am not an old washed-up woman with bad knees and too much girth and too much fatigue and a need to sit in a recliner and watch TV believing that this is only safe "sport" allowed that doesn't hurt me. 

One is on a mental level - no TV, no music, no noise, no chatter and clatter of a gym or a mall (for walking).  I tried so hard to quiet my mind on the river yesterday, but I had so much internal chatter going on. I know it will take practice to quiet my mind. I wish I could start my day with this, but the facilities do not open until late in the morning. However, at either end of the day I need to quiet my mind and the endless chatter: In the morning it would help to  to not be thinking about the upcoming day and all the worries and concerns it might bring but at the other end of the day, it helps to let  everything go. Eventually I hope to quiet my mind and just learn to be present in the moment, which leads me to another level of reclaiming my life:

A spiritual level. My hope for this experience is to make this a moving meditation - where I eventually think of nothing but the rhythm of the paddling and the fleeting thoughts about the beauty of the nature I am traversing. 

Working these three levels through kayaking - physical, mental and spiritual - is a beautiful synergistic relationship with the work I am doing with Karly Pitman's work that I wrote about in previous posts.  Right now I am doing deep work in the chapter on "Acceptance" and as I worked on it this morning, I had so many light bulbs illuminating my mind I almost needed sunglasses just to think.  Although I have given "lip service" to not defining myself by my weight or eating habits, it never really gelled until this morning: Trusting myself to be on the water myself, being strong, being balanced, taking the initiative to do this, following through - these qualities define me, not that I am 50 pounds overweight.  That I am a wonderful mother, wife and friend - these define me, not that I sometimes binge at night.  That I am a hard worker, a good teacher, and take pride in my home - these define me, not that I sometimes don't make good food decisions. 

What I have been looking for in food isn't there at all.  What I have been looking for has been to fill some non-physical hunger. The hunger has been to find who I really am.  These qualities above, that DO define me, these are who I am.  Not cookies, candy, extra helpings, night time eating, senseless bingeing.  I feel I am ready to reclaim my life.  I am ready to be on the water. 

Miriam

I may never wear pink again!

What sort of kicked off this summer's bucket list is when I went out of my comfort zone and bought blue nail polish.  I think I may have talked about the experience in an earlier blog, but as I look at my nails today - after my horseback riding lesson and before my kayak lesson tomorrow - I realized really and truly what a big thing it is for me not to be wearing pink (or shades of pink/red) polish.  I also didn't realize that switching to the blue polish would kick off an entire summer of adventures - I didn't know then that I would be riding a horse or a kayak!

At the beginning of the summer I had a doctor's appointment and was telling him that I really wanted to make some changes this summer - not just the "usual" like drinking more water, exercising, etc. - but personality changes.  He said - "I see you have already started."  I asked what he meant, and he pointed to my nail polish (both on toes and fingers).  I had to laugh then and I had to laugh now.  The blue polish was really a harbinger of coming out of my comfort zone, wasn't it? I am getting a mani-pedi before the weekend and I am so worried I won't get the exact blue/greens (both of them Essie summer colors ) that I want that I am bringing my own polish!

Meanwhile - on the eating front - I have migrated back to mostly a South Beach way of eating.  I find that I feel best and do best when I stay away from processed carbs and sugar - which I have known forever, but it's so easy to eat this way during the summer with the bounty of fruits and vegetables and simple grilled proteins.  I don't feel like I am dieting at all, and it really does go hand-in-hand with the intuitive eating program that I was immersed in last summer.

Anyway - I will check in after my kayak lesson tomorrow - I am so pumped!

Miriam

First thing off the Bucket List

I did it!  I had my first horseback riding lesson.  First of all, let me say - I had a wonderful time and I don't know why it took me so long to try it! :)  My husband had a wonderful time too and on the way home said how we MUST do it again.  Not only did he love the horseback riding, but he loved that we spent time together out of the house, away from daily chores and obligations.  I had a Belgian draft horse that everyone who went by asked - "Oh, don't you love her? It's like sitting on a sofa."  All I wanted to answer was: "Boy you must have some really odd uncomfortable furniture!" LOL - But really, it was comfortable sitting on her, and I was able to get on and off unaided.

At first I was so scared of falling off.  I think that if I wasn't worried about protecting my knees I would have relaxed a bit, even at the prospect of falling off.  I told the instructor I just wanted a big-girl's pony ride, and that I didn't want her to let go of the lead (my husband was on his own almost from the beginning - but the instructor said that for some reason guys are a natural at this - they are all genetically cowboys, I guess).  I did get as far as an almost trot (she called it jogging) and I did learn to post (standing up and down in the saddle so you just aren't bouncing on the horse's back).  I was so proud of myself - really - and that alone made it all worthwhile.  The instructor let go of the lead once, and I was so scared (because I was afraid I still didn't have control over the horse) that I told her to hold on again, but she took a "lunge lead" which allowed her to control the horse but she could do it standing further away, so I was responsible for steering the horse.  Oh, by the way, my horse's name was Belle (and hubby's horse was Bart). 

I wasn't sore that evening or even the next morning, but by Saturday night I was starting to feel it, but the soreness passed quickly - and my knees and quads (actively used in the posting) didn't hurt at all!  Maybe I'm not as decrepit as I think I am! I wish it wasn't such an expensive hobby, because I would have signed up immediately for another lesson.  We did say, however, that it would be a perfect activity for my birthday weekend (in September). 

Anyway - just wanted to report in!  My next activity is a kayak lesson this Thursday evening.  I'm already sad that the summer is coming to a close (I know, I know - it's not even August, but when I measure the summer in weekends left before school starts, we are talking only 5....) but I'm happy that I have taken wonderful advantage of it!

Miriam

Yikes! Dog Days of Summer

We are in our official third heatwave of the summer.  Yep - temperatures over 90 for a minimum of 3 days in a row.  Wouldn't be so bad, I guess, if I had an air conditioned house.  Unfortunately I do not.  I have one window AC in a little bedroom which I sleep/eat/live in for the summer, just waving to the rest of my family in passing while I get something out of the fridge. 

Whenever I read articles that ask, is it easier for you to diet in the summer or the winter, I always answer (without thinking too much about it) "Pshaw... how can anything compare to fresh summer fruit and the desire to drink water?"  Alas... I got an aha moment last night when I realized that this is not true at all.  It has been so hot in my kitchen, that despite my desires (and available ingredients) to cook, I just cannot.  I have been eating salads with WW entrees for every lunch and then whatever there is for dinner.  Even my new egg discovery I couldn't bare to make this morning (the house thermostat said it was already 85 degrees at 6AM and I'm sure it was hotter than that in the kitchen) - I went to my old standby of Laughing Cow cheese on Wasa crackers - which I really do enjoy, they had just fallen out of favor since I started making my egg sandwiches.  I think I will try to make the eggs tonight for dinner if I can stand in the kitchen for more than 3 minutes.

I am not succumbing to take-out and fast food, although not having a satisfying dinner is prompting me to look for "something else" in the evening, in spite of my prominent crowing about how the work I am doing is cutting down on even my thoughts of eating after dinner.  However, I get to the kitchen and there is nothing, so that takes care of that.

I swear if I still had my cot in the office (I had brought one in for my first few months after knee surgery so that I could nap at lunch if I had taken even a small dose of a narcotic pain killer after arriving in the office) I would not even go home tonight.  I would whip a second WW entree out of the freezer, set up my cot, and call it a night.  I am so sad to think that my friends might not be able to visit this year - I said that if we are coming out of, going into, or being in, a heatwave the visit is off because everyone would be too miserable to leave their bedrooms - even with the pool and the lovely shaded deck with the fans on.

Okay so this officially ends any desire to retire to Florida or other points hot. 

Stay cool.
Miriam

p.s. I looked ahead to next Friday (which is my horseback riding excursion) - thank heavens... it's predicted to be ONLY in the high 80s!

'Tis what 'tis

Saw a new knee doctor yesterday.  I actually love the doctor who did my surgery but I was miffed at his staff so took my records elsewhere.  I'm glad I didn't burn any bridges because I think I will going back to him.  Meanwhile I did get some questions answered.  My initial concern was that I needed a PT referral because my surgical knee feels so tight.  Doctor told me that my knee has a fabulous range of motion, but what I am feeling (and what is common) is a sensation of tightness.  I can't describe it any way other than my kneecap feels like a ball made out of tight rubber bands.  He said that I would be disappointed with PT because there is nothing that can be done about the sensation if the range of motion is already at a really good stage.  Also, the sensitivity (god forbid I bang my knee on something) and the stinging that I sometimes get are also within normal range.  I can accept all that - I just needed reassurance.

With regard to the other knee, it is whimpering right now to be replaced, but I'm not ready.  I'm waiting to accrue enough time off so I can take 3-4 months off like I did with my other knee, so maybe two summers from now if I can wait that long.  Meanwhile I got a nice new soft brace for it that should help if I have any serious walking to do. 

So meanwhile for lunch, I'm having a WW frozen dinner.  They've made some improvement in their products but I warn you not to get the pot roast dinner.  I'm surprised but the meat portion of it is decent - really does taste like pot roast, but I don't like the gravy or vegetables. (I don't know what possessed me to buy a meat entree!)  I made a huge salad for myself last night to bring today but it was just too darn hot to prepare anything for the protein portion of my lunch.  I think next time I'll take the time in the kitchen even if I'm sweating bullets!

Boston is in its third official heatwave of the summer.  Remind me again how much I dislike the winter? Instead of going into the pool the minute I walked through the door last night I headed to the bedroom and turned on the one window AC that we have in the house.  I must have relaxed just a little too much because I was up at 4:30 this morning and couldn't go back to sleep.  No matter, came in to work super early and got a lot done.  Which pays off at the other end because I have to leave early for a dentist appointment!

Stay cool everyone!
Miriam

The end of the week came so fast!

Well I did speak at the Selectmen's meeting on Tuesday night. The reasoning behind the odd-even parking was explained to me, and I agree that it can't be taken on a street-by-street basis, and some streets in the town are too narrow for emergency vehicles to get through, were there to be cars parked on both sides of the road.  Meanwhile, we will continue to park in front of our house (and in the wrong direction) and play the odds that another ticket won't be forthcoming.  In any case, beginning January 2014, we will be on the correct side of the street!

I saw my doctor this morning and had a long - non-scolding - talk about my blood test results.  For now I refuse to take a statin drug.  He agreed to let me try fish oil twice a day and diet with less meat - including chicken -  and see where my numbers are two months from now.  I concede that if the cholesterol counts are too high that I will take a statin (my father died from heart disease and stroke, and at a rather early age, so that's why my own doctor is so concerned about me - even though my numbers are not astronomical, they are still a concern because of family history) - BUT a different brand, and half the dosage. My blood pressure was perfect, but I didn't have the nerve to tell him that I had also stopped taking - on my own decision - blood pressure medication, which was never prescribed for blood pressure, anyway (but rather something else non-recurring, that they thought the blood pressure medication could - and did - help).  So right now I am a supplement-only, prescription drug-free gal.

Speaking of drug-free - I am also blow dryer and curling iron free!  I have ventured into letting my hair dry naturally.  It has a soft wave bordering on curl, and if I use just the right product it can look nice - and not frizzy - all day long.  But the best curl comes from after I've been in the pool, so I actually have filled a bottle of (chlorinated) pool water and spritz my hair in the morning with it.  I know I know... but hey - it brightens the highlights in my hair, makes a nice soft curl, and I use a leave-in conditioner every day.  So what's the harm?  Maybe there is a way to combine chlorinated water with conditioner, bottle it, and become a millionaire!

This weekend my brother is coming up from Florida to visit my mother on her 97th (!) birthday.  Afterwards we (he, my other brother, perhaps spouses, and myself) are going out to lunch at the British Beer Company.  They have a lot of really lovely healthy menu choices, so I am going to try not to be swayed by the (probably) 2000-calorie burger!  Other than lunch out, and the usual housework and laundry, I'm free as a bird this weekend (I just had to check my calendar to make sure!) and even though I don't take work home with me, I am hoping to get through one paper I am editing (if I can't finish it this afternoon).  I have one waiting for me next week, and another one coming in tonight, so it's best I finish up with the one at hand.  I am so grateful that I do this work!

I'm also intensely doing Karly Pitman's program, and have been working on "Acceptance" for about a month now.  I have to tell you, nothing I have done up to now has provided such a strong breakthrough in the eating-disorder work that I have been doing for years now.  For this entire past week I have not even thought of food after dinner, and I have no desire at all to eat anything but what I have planned and what is in front of me -- not even seconds!  She explains night-time eating (and general bingeing) in such a way that now that I have that insight I find that what I eat really provides everything I need - both energy-wise and emotional-wise.  It's nothing I haven't heard before but she puts it in such a way, and her workbook is so intensely wonderful (but is only good if you actually use it) that for the first time I can see my stressors just floating by and not attaching themselves to me in a way that makes me hungry or craving anything.  The weirdest thing is that I don't even THINK about food when I'm not hungry, instead of the usual hunt through the kitchen at night to see what there is.  The three steps before "Acceptance" have been "Grounding", "Nurturing" and "Flowing".  I worked through each one of those (about 3-4 weeks each) but "Acceptance" is the one that has really touched my heart.  So anyway, another plan this weekend is to do some work in the workbook - I have to take small chunks at a time, they are so powerful and meaningful. 

I hope it's nice weather as I also want to enjoy the pool.  Gotta keep my hair curly, you know!

Miriam. 

Circling July 26

Made my appointment for my horseback riding lesson!  The owner was kind enough to extend the lesson so we would have to go down only once.  I heard from a friend that I will have muscles and joints that I didn't even know were in my body and suggested I not go for the full two hours.  The owner said that part of the time will be grooming the horses, so the entire time is not spent on the horse, but she booked 1 1/2 hours which she said would provide plenty of riding time.  I'm so excited!  Just to be on a horse makes it worth while even though I'm giving up 1/2 hour of what I paid for.  She was also kind enough to schedule it so we would be on the road before rush hour begins.

I was in sort of a funk today and got absolutely nothing done at my desk.  I think it might just be that I was tired.  I laid down on the floor and slept for about 1/2 hour before my husband's phone call woke me up.  I feel much better now, but I'm not going to do the editing as I have to be absolutely in the zone to do my best mental work.  I also had a tummy ache which is very unusual for me, so maybe something was just going through my system.  I'm going to take it easy tonight (I am going to speak at the Selectman's meeting about the stupid parking laws, but it's early and I will only be there about 1/2 hour, if that) and hope for a better day tomorrow. I promised a paper back to an author by the end of the week so I am going to absolutely bury myself in it tomorrow.

Okay so I discovered the best homemade fast food breakfast (which I am actually having for dinner tonight):
1 small container of egg substitute (now normally I am no fan of egg substitute because of all the chemicals to make them look yellow PLUS "flavorings" and other probably not-good-for-you ingredients) BUT they come in little 2-serving containers, and right now I'm just looking for easy (not that cracking two fresh eggs isn't easy... hmm... I am being lazy aren't I?).  Then I dice up a little green pepper and onion, and dice up about 6 slices of turkey pepperoni, and saute that mixture up in a small frying pan.  I take the veggie/pepperoni mixture and mix it with the container of egg, and put it all into a microwave omelet form and voila - a perfectly round egg to go into little pita pockets.  Regarding that omelet form - last year "one minute muffins" were all the rage and I cooked mine in that also.

I'm trying to eat a little upside down - the King, Prince, Pauper design.  It's probably why I am so hungry in the morning, but that's okay.  I find that if I eat lighter at night I feel better all around the next day.

Of course it doesn't help that there is left over rib eye steak and a massive sweet potato in the fridge, but I think I will wrap that up for lunch tomorrow and know that I have something yummy waiting for me with my lunch salad.

Anyway - if you are near a Walmart and like "fast food" egg sandwiches it's worth a trip to pick up that cooking gadget.

Miriam

Wow - something that had NOT been on my list! lol

So my son-in-law has a Jeep.  On Mother's Day he took the top off which was fine - it was like a convertible.  But on Saturday we went out on the road with NO DOORS!  Even with seat belts it can be a little scary taking sharp corners so finally - since he couldn't take the screaming any more (although I think he enjoyed it!) - he would just yell out "Turn coming up!"  We had a wonderful time but I'm still recovering from heat exhaustion.  We went house hunting and all but one of the houses was vacant, meaning not even so much as an open window in the close-to-100 degree heat, then getting into the car in the sun with no AC.  I eventually figured out that if I let my leg hang out it increased the breeze - my daughter chastised me because everyone could see my underwear (I was wearing a dress) but I figured for the split-second someone passed us their brain wouldn't register seeing my underwear - hey - at least I was wearing it (hmm... making going commando should be on the summer bucket list)!  

I've been in the pool every day - especially since going back and reading the first blog post I wrote while I was recovering from total knee replacement.  I laughed when I read my story of how I just walked right into the water with my crutches and all my clothes on.  My intention was only to dangle my toes in the water, but I couldn't help myself and went all the way in.  Reading that reminded me that when the weather is hot, the place to be is in the pool. I even went into the pool this morning before work - every summer... around the last day of August I ask myself why I haven't done that every day.  So this time I'm ahead of the ball, and now I have the whole months of July AND August to enjoy the pool - followed by breakfast out on the deck.  I may never go to work....

But, what I SHOULD add to my summer bucket list is reading lessons.  I thought the horseback lessons I had signed up for were in Marlborough (next to where I live) but instead that are in Middleborough - more than an hour away.  No matter... I'm trying to reach them to see if I can take one 2-hour lesson instead of 2 1-hour lessons.  No way I'm driving down there twice!  Hopefully they will understand and let me do it that way.

My water aerobics class starts tonight.  I have to go straight from work and won't be getting home until after 8, so I packed a PB sandwich and a banana to have before class.  If I'm still hungry when I get home I have wonderful leftovers from our BBQ dinner last night.

Well - have a great day and enjoy your Monday!

Miriam

Adding another thing on my summer list

Well I wouldn't have thought this would be on the list but I am going to speak at the Town Meeting on Tuesday night.  We have a government run by selectmen (i.e., no mayor) and something so ridiculous happened a few weeks ago I just have to get to the bottom of it.  Our town has odd/even year parking.  Meaning, this is an odd-numbered year, but because I live in an even-numbered house, I cannot park in front of my house.  This is a year-round policy, but I truly thought it was a November-May (or some other similar 6-month policy that ran the winter months) issue.  Imagine my surprise when there was a ticket on the car - AND a second charge for parking in the wrong direction (mind you, we have a narrow residential street, but because it is not one-way, there is technically a right side and a left side).  I have been living here for 25 years - and I know FOR A FACT - that it was because the trash guy was having a bad day and called the cops just to make himself heard.  He probably wanted to pull the truck down one side and up the other, and although he would encounter cars on the "odd" side he didn't want to deal with cars on the "even" side.  Why should I pay for someone's bad mood?  I paid the ticket just to get it out of my hair, but I'm not dropping the issue.  Now that I think of it I should have appealed the ticket, not complain about it after the fact.  Oh well, better late than never...  So I spoke to my neighbor across the street and she was absolutely appalled.  I am sure if I need signatures to change the law I will have no trouble getting them!

I'm getting used to my glasses.  I stopped on the way home to have the nose pieces changed to something shorter and softer.  It helped a bit, but then it made the bridge a little too heavy.  I rode home with a wad of tissue under the bridge - but I am getting used to the weight (these glasses are heavier than what I had previously).  Every time I think about the comfort factor I think about breaking in a new pair of shoes - especially if you've been wearing sandals or going barefoot all summer!  It's the same thing.  I know that the glasses are a good fit - I just have to get used to them.  The prescription is much stronger and that is giving me some problems at the computer, but the optician said just to outright rest my eyes if I need to, not switch to the old glasses.  He said that the brain needs time to acclimate to the new prescription and if I switch between the two I'll never get used to the new one.  Makes sense.

I am taking Friday off so that it will increase my chances of doing nothing between this afternoon and going back to work Monday morning.  Besides, it's going to be 90 degrees from today clear through to Monday so it's best not to knock myself out.

OH! LOL!  Just got a notice from the boss that the BIG boss has okay'd staff to leave at 2PM today.  Good to know since it is now 2:20.  LOLOL  I'll take it!

So with that I wish you all a wonderful 4th of July and "see" you next week if not a couple of times over the weekend.

Miriam

Just a quickie

Just a quickie today.  I picked up new glasses on my way home yesterday.  I am still getting used to them - they are a stronger prescription and, under the best of circumstances it takes a while to adjust to a new progressive prescription, but I get horribly car sick and have a vertigo condition - so my getting used to them might really stretch the envelope.  I don't want to take breaks with my old glasses and instead am just closing and resting my eyes periodically.   I opted for new frames and they are similar enough to the old ones that not one single person even noticed I had new glasses (but different enough so I don't feel I wasted my money)!  (Sandy - I had to take a second look at your new profile picture - they are sort of like yours but with different ornamentation on the corners.)

I looked at the temps ahead for this week - just lovely if you are spending the week at the beach (90 degrees and sunny through the weekend) but a little too hot to live in a house with no air conditioning (I swear it's more difficult after spending the day in an ac'd office and car).  However, miracle of miracles, the pool is clean and ready to go.  It's freezing cold though, so the most I will do is dip my toes - and mostly to shoo the ducks away.  Their stays are shorter and shorter as their little duck brains process the fact that they shouldn't be swimming in a chlorinated pond - even though it is their own private resort.  Vinnie also chases them off in the morning although I notice that he ignores them more and more, and is probably seeing the wisdom in Tiki's habit of pretending they are not there.

Anyway, I've hit my limit of staring at this computer screen.

Stay cool!
Miriam

 

The first of a new month on a Monday - how lovely

Boy, the weekend got away from me!  I did my grocery shopping, laundry, my last class for the season, tons of cleaning, and company yesterday afternoon.  So what else is new?  I am thinking of taking Friday off (tacking it on to having Thursday off), just to have a day of doing nothing - which, I am sure, is a futile plan...

I was telling my daughter how my bucket list is horseback-riding lessons, kayacking, and rock climbing (safely at the gym).  Just once for each, mind you, but doing them all this summer.  She looked at me with tears in her eyes (honest!) and said, you aren't dying are you?  I had to clarify that it was my bucket list before summer dies away! lol

I'm trying a few new recipes this week to start the month off.  I have a split chicken marinating in a tahini-based dressing - my husband promised to grill for me before he leaves for work so that it is ready for dinner.  Then, from my Italian Slow Cooker cookbook I made a tomato sauce with red wine yesterday, and tomorrow will make (from the same cookbook) a "Big Italian Meatball" with the sauce.  Then from my GI diet book (which was headed for Goodwill but I fished it out to see if there were any good recipes) I am making a chili recipe (crock pot also).  These should be plenty to get through the week.

I went through a (short) period of just cooking on the fly but found that didn't work for me at all.  I came home hungry, nothing prepared, and making poor choices all through the evening.  Even if I had something ready to cook, if it wasn't done and ready to go on the plate, it didn't get cooked or eaten.  I found that even with not dieting, being prepared is still the best way for me to go. 

Karly Randolph Pitman calls it "grounding" and I am so grateful to her for showing me that no apology is necessary to acknowledge that planning and cooking ahead is what I need to stay healthy and less crazed in the food department.  I had a friend who made fun of all the planning, grocery shopping and cooking that I did on a weekend to get through the upcoming week.  She intimated that something was really wrong with me to be so obsessed with this planning (she, on the other hand, picked up a pizza on the way home from work).  I felt bad about my "style" for a while and really did think something was wrong with me.  But, when I read Karly's take on it, I realize that no apology or explanation is necessary.  It is what makes my life run smoothly and contributes to my well being - both mentally and physically.

So anyway - chicken is on the grill (hopefully), sauce is made, two slow cooker recipes ready in the wings, and my bucket list at my side.  The new month is off to a good start!

Miriam

A small kind gesture can set the day

It's funny how some small kindness can make you smile the rest of the day.  I am an award-winning parallel parker.  Unless you live in the city you don't know what it is to park in a space 2 inches smaller than your car, with tons of traffic being held up while you make the maneuver.  My mother taught me well and I can sometimes get into a tiny space with one move back and one move forward.  And I do it without touching the car in either front or back.  But I do get nervous when there is a person sitting in the car in front or back.  So this morning I started my parking maneuver and the guy who was in the space behind me, and who had already gotten out of his car, came back and moved to the empty space behind him so that I would have plenty of room to park.  I thought that was so kind of him and told him so.  I wore a smile the rest of the morning.  I even noticed a dumpster in my parking lot and thought "how pretty" - it was brand new - not a scratch or a dent, and a shiny beautiful teal.  I had never seen such a beautiful dumpster - lol. 

This followed my morning doctor's appointment. He said just a 25-pound loss will probably bring my sugar to normal numbers as well as bring my cholesterol down.  He said to stay away from anything made from white flour.  This is already something I know and do. Most of what he said was of the "been there done that" variety of advice, but this time around I am really scared.  So that will make a difference.

My special thing today is that I am stopping at Bed Bath and Beyond and getting a Yonanas machine.  I saw this last summer and I think even before that it was the rage at WW meetings.  I'm just in the mood for something new.  I was going to get a crock pot but decided the two I have work just fine, even though they don't have the neat warming stage at the end of cooking time to use if I'm not home.  But, with a little planning (like leaving instructions for my husband) I can have it finished just at the right time and not over- or under-cooked.  The real reason I decided against getting one is that I looked on Amazon and they have so many to choose from I got dizzy looking at them and reading reviews.  There is only one Yonanas so I'm goin' for it.

Speaking of special things I was telling my doctor about my summer plans (to do at least one enjoyable thing each day, even if it's being a little late in the morning because I decided to enjoy a cup of coffee at home instead of from a to-go cup on the road) and he said that is probably more important for my health than any medication.  He was quite impressed :).

Okay - I am going to purchase blueberries and strawberries and maybe a cantaloupe to throw into the freezer when I get home.  I figured as long as I am making my frozen fruits with mostly low-calorie highly anti-oxidant berries that I will glean health as well as pleasure!  Apparently if you add yogurt it comes out more like flavored frozen yogurt, so that's good to know - but I will be happy with a nice bowl of fruit sorbet!

M

Found the best website ever!

As if I don't have enough recipes and enough websites to keep me occupied ... but... I have to share that I found the best website ever!  It is called The Yummy Life.  I never ever have any cereal products for breakfast because I am always hungry before I've even finished my morning commute.  However, she had a steel-cut oatmeal slow cooker recipe that intrigued me and sent me straightaway to Trader Joe's to pick up steel-cut oatmeal.  I had my husband start the crock pot at around midnight and the most delightful breakfast was awaiting me this morning.  I was not even hungry for lunch at lunchtime!  Anyway - I started looking around her site and the recipes are fantastic.  I have been inspired to stop at Bed Bath and Beyond this afternoon to pick up a programmable crock pot that she recommends.  I have been shopping for a new crock pot for ages, but there are so many to choose from that I just never knew where to plunk down my money.  Actually I have a small one in which I made the oatmeal, but I am getting a new larger one anyway.  The oatmeal I made was apple-cinnamon but she has a cranberry eggnog one that I can't wait to try as soon as the eggnog starts appearing on grocery shelves!

So anyway - why was I searching for oatmeal in the first place?  As I wrote yesterday, I got my blood test results back and they are less than stellar.  On the Mayo Clinic website (that I posted yesterday) they indicated that eating oatmeal is a good place to start, hence the search for oatmeal recipes.  My daughter is also trying to get me to understand how to use Pinterest so I have been pinning recipes and websites. Another summer project....I don't have enough to do to waste my time....but I'm feeling a renewed interest in new healthy recipes, so it's all good. 

Hubby got the pool cover off - and the water isn't nearly as bad as it was last year.  We can at least see the steps, which is a good sign.  I told him to keep up with the chlorine and to make sure to put in stabilizer, otherwise the water can "turn" in a heartbeat.  The ducks haven't come since the cover has been off - which is odd, since they usually don't give up the ghost until at least 2 weeks into chlorinating and running the pool.  My new cat Vinnie I think is doing a pretty decent job of patrolling the pool, but even he sometimes ignores the ducks - it's a losing battle...  The pool was filled with hundreds (if not thousands) of tadpoles and toads but last night things were much quieter so I think the toads have started to fly the coop, so to speak.  Poor tadpoles, though. 

Anyway - if you have time browse around that website - it really is wonderful!

Miriam

Summer Continued

I am beginning to think that I should stop the count (Day 4, Day 5, etc.) - it already has me stressed!  Why, I do not know, but I always get tense counting things.  I play a game with my daughter - it's like Boggle but on-line it's called Scramble.  It's a timed game and I actually hyperventilate when I'm counted down by one minute.  When I started my sugar-free program and was about three weeks into it (keeping a calendar that each day I would mark "SF" as proof that I had been sugar-free) I was listening to the accompanying CD and she said, "Please do not mark on a calendar every day you have been sugar free."  LOL - was she speaking to me?  I stopped immediately.  The premise was to guard against black&white, all-or-nothing, thinking.  Boy was she right, but I'm just that sort of person.  So anyway, I need to acknowledge every glorious day of summer but as of today I'm not counting. All it will do is get me anxious about how summer is moving along and how I may (or may not) be moving along with it. 

Okay, so as long as we are talking about numbers, the results of yesterday's blood test are starting to come in (some take more than a day to be calculated).  What has come in so far is that my cholesterol and LDL have both significantly gone up since my tests 6 months ago.  I took myself off my statin drug after reading so many negative studies (my bad - I didn't even bother to discuss it with my doctor).  I have horrible horrible leg cramps - and not just the calf - I get them in my shin, in my quad, hamstring - and they are so bad, my leg still aches the next day.  Since going off my statin I haven't gotten a single leg cramp.  I have to find a way to naturally lower my cholesterol so that I don't have to go back to that drug.  On the other hand my HDL went up and my triglycerides plummeted, so I know that my dietary changes have made some dent in what I am trying to accomplish.  My daughter, the expert on these things, said that in addition to dietary changes, increased exercise will also affect cholesterol counts (I know it helps with insulin resistance as well).  My glucose, already a bit high, is exactly the same as it was 6 months ago.

She has given me two sites to explore - based on research and not gimmicks - that I will share here with you:

The mayo clinic website.

And also the HSPH nutrition source.

I am sure there is no information on either website that I haven't already come across and read, but with my daughter's email to me:

"i love you too!  so be healthy so you live forever and i never have to be without you!", I will take a fresh look.  

Add reading those websites to my summer projects list... but no counting how long it takes me!

Miriam 

4th day of summer

OMG - we are breaking records here.  I'm not much one for heat, so I already have a headache brewing... Not gonna talk myself into it, though.  Started my morning with lab work.  They changed up the system so that even though the lab opens at 8 and I was there around 8:10 I did not get seen until almost 9.  Maybe someone didn't come in on time... I don't know.  But add that to roads being paved, and I got in at 10:30 even though I had left my house before 8.  Sigh...  However, the upside is that, because I didn't have my full breakfast/beverages before leaving I made it in without wetting my pants... too much. LOL

I have my bag packed for a swim at the gym but the pool doesn't open until 5, and I think I want to head home immediately.  I didn't want to go at lunch since I got in so late.  I know... I know... already with the excuses and it's only Day 4.  But no, seriously - I'm dying to get home to my unairconditioned house so that I can slap wet towels on my arms and sit in front of the fan and bitch and moan how the night is so long and so hot.  Hmm... maybe I will rethink the gym.  Actually I would have gone this morning since I was up so early, but I had to hang around for the lab to open.  I might just go for a walk on the track - I don't even have to change for that and my iPod is all fired up!

Speaking of the iPod I want to do a commercial announcement for something I just bought: It's by URGE BASICS and it's called a Flash Tube Charger.  You charge it on your computer and it holds a charge so you can plug your dead devices into it.  It immediately zapped a charge into my iPod this morning (which was dead when I got to the lab, but fully charged by the time I got out).  I bought four of them to give as gifts this year, but I think I am keeping a second one for myself so I will always have one charged and handy. 

I have just a feeling of overwhelm lately, which is what started me on my summer projects - so much to do, so little time.  But it's more than that.  I have a yearning for a simpler time.  I was thinking back to my apartment in Brooklyn when my children were just babies.  Of course at THAT time I was overwhelmed with being a new mother, living on one income, hoping to move, etc., but as I look back now I see how simple those days were.  If I had known then what I know now about how delicious being a stay-at-home mom could be, I would have appreciated and enjoyed it even more than I did.  Of course, when I'm 80, and overwhelmed with whatever overwhelms 80-year olds I will look back to now and wish for the simpler times of today! LOL  I don't know... I'm not exactly in a funk, but I feel like I am free-floating with no idea where to land. 

I think this is, in part, what motivated me to do summer projects...   I want the simple times of summer... Again with the doing instead of being.  Oh I've got it ... maybe on the way home I will swing by Walden Pond and just hang out there for a while -maybe being there will help me contemplate more than my belly button.   I just called and they are at capacity for the day but will reopen at 4PM.

I have my bathing suit, flip flops and towel with me anyway ... I've got a plan!!!!

Miriam