A scary glimpse into my truth

I had a very frightening glimpse into the truth of MY addiction.  I had written that I had some candy on Monday night, but then got rid of the rest of it.  OMG - today is the first day that the crawling-up-the-walls cravings have subsided.  I'm talking about the feeling of being a caged animal hurdling myself into the bars, with the desire to get my hands on more candy.  I went down to the office where I had put the candy and had some.  Then had THREE ice creams at night.  THEN yesterday stopped for a Wendy's hamburg and french fries (did you know Wendy's french fries are made with sugar?) on the way home AND that wasn't enough so I bought a container of hot and sour soup.  THEN I went to CVS to get more candy - I put it on the register and if it had been buy one get one (as I thought) I would have bought two full-sized candy bars.  They were buy 2, get 1, and I knew I would eat all three before getting home (and I tried to imagine how sick I would be) so I put them back and walked out.  We are also talking white bread and butter (which I haven't had for months). This wasn't a case of a nose-dive because of the "I blew it" phenomenon.  This was a deep craving that was absolutely making me scream inside.  That is addiction. 

I always gave a half-scoffing laugh at "oh I'm addicted to carbs" - but after this extremely frightening experience, I can say really and truly, I must stay away.  Not all carbs, and not all sugar all the time.  But the pure sugar experience is a path that I cannot go down again.  To rid my body of the cravings, the only thing that works is Phase 1 of the South Beach Diet.  I am not "diet hopping" again, but I know this will rid my body of simple-carb cravings.  I plan to do it for the full two weeks; more if I still am dreaming of donuts and candy and white bread with butter.

On the knee front:  My brother started PT for his own knees.  He was in such agony with the exercises, that his therapist cut him back to 1 set of 12 stretches every OTHER day (instead of two sets of 12 every day).  Interesting - now that I heard this from him, I've confirmed that I was overdoing it in the stretching.  That's hard to believe because you would think that it would be the exercises other than stretching that could hurt you if you do too much.  I am looking forward to getting back on some schedule next week.  Maybe a very mild walking and stretching regime - every OTHER day!

Breakfast:   Garden Vegetable egg beaters with fat-free American cheese, sliced cucumbers

Lunch:  HUGE salad with olive oil and vinegar and sliced turkey breast, and walnuts
Snack: Chicken chunks and Trader Joe's red pepper and artichoke tapenade (no sugar)
Dinner: grilled chicken, salad, steamed green beans and broccoli
Snack: Fat Free mocha ricotta 

I am going to do some serious introspection these next two weeks and really reflect upon what happened.

Miriam