Still living a day at "No matter what"

I need another day here.  I did drink all my water today (but not yesterday), and since I didn't do my bike yesterday, I figured a promise for today was empty and fraudulent - so I got on the bike before I sat down to write this entry. 

I'm going through my "I don't need WW" temper tantrum.  My monthly membership is good until February 5th, and I can renew on that day if I want to.  Price-wise it doesn't cost me anything (because I get a reimbursement from my insurance company) - I'm just having my cut and run feelings that I ALWAYS have a few weeks into a diet.  I am surprised I lasted this long! 

My daughter posted her wedding website today - she put a live countdown ticker on it.  Hmm... it's at 31 weeks now.  Where will I be in 21 weeks?  Where will I be in 11 weeks?  Where will I be 1 week before the wedding?  Just as fat as I am now? I don't want to be.  Hmmm... maybe I need to quit it with the temper tantrum and pay up so my membership stays current.

So, when I am in those moments of denial and decide I am not going to do WW and I can do it on my own I start to think of ALL the things I can eat, want to eat, and want to eat in great quantities.  I get home, open the fridge, and am faced with everything from Sunday: guacamole, hommos, fava bean salad, breads, chips, crackers, cheese.... and mashed cauliflower and chicken.  The moment of truth.  I can eat everything if I want to (and say the heck with it, or just start again on Monday), or I can do what is right for me in the moment.  I pulled out the chicken and cauliflower. 

I think between that choice, and the water, and the bike, I am ready, tomorrow, to move on to reflect on days 4-7. Of course I need to work "Do it anyway" EVERYDAY but I am ready to work the other steps.

Miriam