Returning to Day 4 of 100

Okay, whew... I'm ready to move on.  Boundaries not Diets.  I didn't post yesterday because I was overwhelmed with some decisions I had to make.  I was thinking about my "temper tantrum" with regard to WW, and realized it really wasn't a temper tantrum at all, but a very uncomfortable growth spurt and very very difficult introspection.  WHY was I uncomfortable with being on WW - was it that I don't like the program (NO), don't like the meetings or eTools (NO), that I'm lazy and don't want to do anything (NO), that I haven't lost weight with this program before (NO)????  So what was it then?

It actually was a bit of a rebellion (but not against WW specifically).  At another time, long long ago, in another blog, I talked about trusting myself to do the right thing.  I know what to eat.  I know what portions to eat it in.  I know the "healthy guidelines."  I know about water and exercise and everything else.  I have given lip service to "trusting myself" but, with deep reflection, I realized that I really have never done that.  I have used "trust myself" as an excuse to have a free-for-all with my eating.  And therefore, I have learned to NOT trust myself - it never results in weight loss or better health.

So what is the Boundaries not Diets lesson all about?  I wrote on the surface about it - but that's why I am going back to REALLY examine each day's lesson.  I can't treat this process like every other process I've gone through - reading it like a light novel or cookbook.  What it means to me (although 100 Days is meant to compliment any diet program, as is this specific lesson), is that I have to dig deep within myself and acknowledge and praise all the "diet" knowledge I have accumulated over the years, and USE it.

I know that I have to plan my meals - it's deadly to come home after an hour's commute, tired and hungry and THEN think about what there might be for dinner.  It's not even enough to have it planned - I must have it READY.  On the plate ready to be reheated is even better!  What I can do for the week is better than what I can get ready for the next day:

Here is home from the grocery store

And here is ready for the week 

And REALLY, do you think something this nutritious really has to be measured and weighed?

And REALLY, what is so hard about having this be waiting for me in the evening?

Okay - got my point?  I am in NO danger of overeating or making wrong choices if I just do what I KNOW to do.

If I'm hungry at night I still don't have to worry about too many calories or points if I stick to something like this:

A whole separate meal but still under 300 calories - okay I don't have to have the avocado and cheese, but eggs, tomatoes and some fruit will SURELY stop all-night snacking.

My Boundaries will be that I have 3-Squares a day.  I'm sorry but I like to feel full, and 6 small meals is just not going to do it for me.  HOWEVER, that being said, neither will I eat beyond the point of being satisfied.  Like today, I had a big mug of vegetable soup at lunch that filled me and I will have the rest of my lunch before going home.  I suppose that is a different way of adding up 5-6 small meals a day, but I won't look at it as 6 small meals.  I will just look at it as, if I'm no longer hungry I won't stuff myself, but if I'm hungry later, I'll finish it. 

Another Boundary will be to try to include all food groups at every meal (even if that meal is to be finished up later): protein, carb, fat.  That can be fruits, vegetables, oils or other natural fats (like avocado, for instance), any sort of protein (legumes, dairy, meat, etc.).  I know how to balance everything - I've been doing this long enough.

I'm not  sure that I need the  Boundary of  recording  my meals (and in any case, without a calorie or point "tag"). I know for SURE that if I go meal-by-meal and every single one of them are healthy (in choice and portion) that I will eat exactly what my body needs for good health (good health includes weight loss!).

I will keep the Boundary of weighing in each week.  I have already spoken with my doctor's office, and they have no problem if I come by every week to weigh in on their "official" scale.  The reason this occurred to me is that I got on my scale at home and just for the fun of it I got on three separate times within a few minutes, and each time I got a different weight.  (Digital WW scale with new batteries.)  My WW membership lapses in February, so if I don't renew, then I can't weigh in there.  Also, I think weighing in the doctor's office will make me less of a slave to the number on the scale and only an observer using it for feedback.  Weighing in at home can become obsessive (not to mention inaccurate) and weighing in at WW, for me anyway, can become PURE obsession - even to the point of making sure I'm wearing the lightest possible clothes, and not having a drop to drink or a morsel to eat before going.

I am also going to have the Boundary of actually living my OWN program - I am not going to get seduced into other programs.  I am going to make it a program in that it will NOT be a free-for-all.  It's a totally new concept, really.

I will have the Boundary of removing the punishment or reward aspect from food (thank you to everyone at the Blog to Lose chat yesterday and today) and concentrate more on looking at feelings as rewards. If I pass by the donut that I THINK I'm buying as a reward, and then feeling good about myself because I passed it up, then that good feeling, not the donut, is the reward.

Big doings.....
Miriam