I feel a blog coming on... Day 5 magic notebook

I just read my friend Babs' journal who is also on Day 5.  I already did address Day 5 (The Magic Notebook) last week, but I didn't actually do anything about it.  I did NOT write down foods that I wanted to eat instead of eating them, so I really didn't give that lesson a chance to do its work.  I said I was going to, but I didn't.  The road being paved with good intentions and all....  However, I have to add another Boundary to my plan (which I am becoming to realize is more about behaviors and less about foods)  and that is to actually write down what it is that I want to eat that would be off my program.  Then I need to look at it, sit with it, and then make a decision whether or not I really want it.  Truly want it.

Babs suggested having a substitution list available.  However, for me personally, that is not a good idea.  The reason for that is that the food I might be wanting at the time really represents behavior, not the food itself.  If I've had a good dinner, am already in bed, teeth brushed, an hour or so to go before my head hits the pillow, and all of a sudden I start thinking about a bag of chips in the kitchen, what good does it do me to eat a bag of carrots instead?  I'm craving the chips, not because I'm hungry, I'm craving them because I want to take my mind off something - maybe I need to unwind from the day, maybe I'm anxious about something that is going to happen the next day, maybe I'm just tired or bored, or maybe it's something as innocuous as it's my habit to go into the kitchen at night and eat something crunchy.  Substituting carrots for chips does not address these issues.  If I could munch a carrot or two and close the light, leave the kitchen and go to bed, that's one thing - I'm just satisfying a need for crunch (whatever the "need" behind it) - but what I actually am doing is keeping the bad habit going.

I know that it is often suggested to substitute an activity for eating - such a jumping jacks instead of a bag of chips.  That's okay - but to me it's the same as eating the carrots.  I think it's more valuable to explore WHY I want the chips.  However, getting out of the kitchen and cleaning out a closet or a drawer is still better than eating the chips and more useful than eating carrots!

That being said, sometimes we are just out of the house, face a piece of fudge or an ice cream and want it.  Yes, reaching for an apple is a good substitute. Or sometimes we just do truly mindless eating (like picking at grapes every time we pass the fruit bowl).  So I'm acknowledging that not all cravings and situations are the same.  But for me, it's rarely that simple.  It usually is that I am needing to swallow something other than the food at hand (anger, frustration, worry, exhaustion, boredom, etc.) and a better thing than substitution (food or activity) would be to face what it is that is bothering me.  Even if I don't know what is bothering me - and even if nothing is... it's just habit that is making me eat - I need to foster the behavior of just sitting on my hands until the craving passes.Well, sitting on my hands AFTER I've written the food possibilities in my notebook.

Now that I am following my very own weight loss program, I don't have calories or points to tell me when I am out of food for the day.  It was so weird last night - I was finished eating for the day and not at all hungry. I was thinking that if I had been counting calories or points, that I would have been running everything available in my kitchen, through my head to see if I could have it.  (That's where substitutions can come in handy.) But instead, I just realized that I wasn't hungry and in no particular NEED for more food.  However, I did succumb (to habit, not hunger).  I absolutely vow right here that it will not happen again without my first going to my notebook. I think had I taken the time last night to lay out all the possibilities of what I could eat (believe me - I still have a full kitchen left over from football last week!), and put it in the notebook, I could have contemplated it all (instead of eating it all).  I could promise myself that I could have it at a later time if I wanted - and by then the urge would have passed.

So I am reliving Day 5 - The Magic Notebook - today.  ALSO - and this is HUGE news for me: Today is the day I am giving up my diet cola (TAB is my choice).  I think I will give my notebook a very busy workout the next few weeks - or months - I wish they had a diet cola patch the way they have a nicotine patch! lol

Goodbye my love, goodbye....  You were my best substitute ever...

Have a magic day!
Miriam