No ... not a swim dip. Not a sour cream dip. Not a Dairy Queen dip. Sigh... a motivation dip. For the same reason it's not a good idea to lose weight only for a special occasion, it's not a good idea to do PT just to grab the gold ring at a doctor's appointment. After my superlative high yesterday I was so down and unmotivated today. Really made me think of when I was in my first 5K race and told myself that the next day I would just rest. Then maybe another day... till I was no longer in racing shape. Or when I lost enough weight to fit into my wedding gown and then promptly gained about 30 pounds my first year of marriage.
Knowing that I could go backwards within a few days I did all my exercises. It didn't help that it was chilly today and I couldn't use the pool, but I did extra land exercises. I also tried out some of my belly dance moves. I'm starting to get very anxious about starting my classes again in September. My more advanced students said they would help with the beginner class (where I have to do the most dancing because it's the most demonstration) so that helped my anxiety a little bit. For the more advanced students, they are very good about letting me "direct traffic" after just a short demo of what I need them to do. They have been with me all through my arthritic years so they are used to my not being the most active teacher on the block.
So anyway I did just a few of a few moves and figured out what was safe and what is not yet safe. I think I am going to put that on hold until maybe mid-way through my August PT. Then I will have the therapist work with me through the drills I need to do for class. I'll have to accept wherever I am come September...
A Blue Cross/Blue Shield rep called me this afternoon (a service provided by BC/BS for post-surgical clients) and said I sound remarkably cheerful and upbeat. I told her that this was elective surgery and it would make no sense to be angry and upset about my situation. I chose this and I knew what I was in for. I am in pain more than I would like to be - and it's not necessarily limited to my knee - it includes my hip, shin, ankle and butt. My knee is swollen and hot. I'm tired of being cooped up. (Even though I have permission to drive, we are talking with just starting with short trips around the block - not on a main road yet - I'm not confident about the speed of my leg to go from brake to accelerator, or the strength needed for a quick braking motion. I gather most people just hop into the car and go, but I'm a little more cautious.) But through it all I'm not down or depressed... but have to admit I'm a little dipped.
I think that if I wasn't concerned about going back to work in two weeks and didn't have to worry about my classes in September I might be on a more even keel. But I can't hide from life just because I've had a knee replacement. And the other side of the coin is that maybe I am better off because I do have goals - they keep me grounded. I need to keep up with PT - even just for the "simple" things like learning to walk without a limp or going up and down stairs. I am going to talk to my therapist tomorrow about a home PT plan. As I said I have so many exercises now to pick and choose from I want to make sure I don't pick all desserts!
.....just as long as I don't double dip Ill be fine!
Miriam
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