Anyone who knows me knows that I LOVE to stay home. I would have no problem with retirement or working from home. HOWEVER... when I am saying to myself that I wish I had my car (it's committed elsewhere until August 1st) and I am SO ready to go to my office (despite the 100 degree weather and the fact that I have a beautiful pool) then even *I* know it's time to move on.
I said to someone today that I felt like taking off my leg and banging it against a tree. Oh my - where did that come from? I think I'm just feeling restless and tired of not feeling "normal." Almost as soon as I finish exercising my knee is tight again... I've been reading (a lot) that the swelling and stiffness can go on for upwards of a year - which I knew... but that doesn't make me any less tired of it all. I also know that I still don't regret doing this - not even for one moment. I love that the pain from the arthritis is no longer there, and that I'm not dragging my right leg anymore, or holding on to things even to stand. So it's a little tight... I'm a little restless. I'm sure I'll get over it and be dreaming back to the days when I was sitting home ALL day long doing NOTHING.
To my friends who are worried that I am doing too much. DON"T WORRY. That is not the case. I am NOT pushing myself beyond reasonable limits with my exercises. And all my excursions out of the house, collectively, are equivalent to the walking I should be doing every day. It just sounds like a lot because it's so miraculous that after such a surgery I am up and about so much. Remember - not only was it major surgery (in terms of length and intricacy) but they took my BONES out for goodness sakes. Granted... they were replaced... but still... and that's what I have to remember whenever I doubt my progress.
I'm feeling a little anxious - nothing to do with what is going on with ME, but because I am home I have plenty of time to "dwell." And that's all part of the restlessness. Thank heavens it hasn't dipped into depression, something extremely common several weeks into this recovery. In addition to the depression, which thank heavens I have been spared, it is also common not to sleep well for at least the first three months following surgery. I was happy to read that because then I realized that I was "normal" with that, which was good to know. Instead of BATTLING fatigue and restlessness I will just try to go with the flow... take it at face value - that it's not any different from anything else that other post-surgical TKR patients are going through. It's not me.... it's IT.
Now that I'm out of the acute stages I'm on to the mundane.... which is a good thing!
Miriam
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