Merry Maid....NOT

Well - I had visions of grandeur.  I was going to clean my house.... 20 minutes on, 20 minutes off.  I made it through one wall of kitchen cabinets and was totally done for the day.  I remember when I used to do the entire kitchen and at least three more rooms before I called it quits for the day.  The sheer fatigue is what still amazes me.  I "rested" for a few hours then went out with the car to do a little shopping, but was back within an hour.  I fell asleep at 7 and woke up at 10.  OMG - it was like I had been working non-stop for hours...  (I was back asleep at 2, but woke up around 4:30 with burning medial pain - nothing to do with what I had done that day... just something that happens.)

However, that being said, I am still thinking to what I am doing now that I wasn't doing a month ago.  I totally forgot that now I drive myself to PT - and that's a huge stride.  And really, I couldn't have done what I did in the kitchen - with or without fatigue - even a couple of weeks ago.  Gives whole new meaning to the phrase "baby steps."

I was talking to my therapist about the horrible medial compartment pain I am still having.  She asked if that is where my arthritis was (affirmative!).  She said that her patients who have had arthritis in the medial compartment continue to experience pain there (even though the arthritis is gone and there is no longer bone-on-bone condition) but that eventually it goes away.  So that gave me hope - and faith that she is correct and that will be my experience too.

Speaking of hope and faith - I am a huge fan of Joel Osteen (my husband calls him my boyfriend).  Today's sermon was on talking to your mountains.  It's not enough to pray for things to get better, or to hope things get better.  You actually have to address the mountain(s) in your life and tell it that it is no longer welcome in your life. He said to actually speak to your mountains - so I am speaking to mine:  "Knee - thank you for being new, and of the best technology available.  Thank you for being cared for by a super surgeon and great physical therapists.  Thank you for supporting me when I walk and sit and bend and swim and drive and wash the kitchen cabinets. I need you to continue on your path to recovery and to get stronger and less swollen and I need you to stop screaming at me every time you might be tired or unhappy or uncomfortable.  I need you to stop being a mountain and thank you in advance for becoming a molehill."

In addition to talking to my knee I need to talk to my weight.  Joel said that when you face an addiction (and there is no way around it... I turn to food as surely as other people turn to drugs, cigarettes and alcohol) you have to speak to it and say: "The power in me is greater than the power in you."  I once read a book where the author said that every time you face down food you should say something like: "I refuse to take orders from a cookie."  I realize that part of the reason my medial compartment may be screaming at me is because it wants to get my attention to take some weight off it.  (Skinny people have knee problems too and their medial compartments may scream just as loudly... but I'm sure mine is particularly complaining because of the weight.)

When I named this blog "New Knee New Me" I wasn't just talking about the knee.  I was talking about how, in having this operation, my whole life is going to change around.  I've already taken steps by faithfully doing my exercises, and I know that I will keep up with this my whole life (I have to: "Motion is lotion" and if I don't keep up with fitness I might as well have never had the operation).  However, I have to get a handle on my eating. I am not going to play the blame game - as much as I have had healthy food available to me it hasn't been easy being home for 2 1/2 months, nor going back to work and getting used to a schedule where I have to pack food for the day AND have a healthy dinner waiting.  But, if I can wash kitchen cabinets and drive myself to physical therapy and go back to work, it's time to tackle this mountain as well.  So... I'm adding my food journey to my knee journey from here on.

Watch out world - there are going to be very few mountains still standing when I get done with you!

Have a great day!
Miriam