What law says I need to eat a sandwich?

What I say to myself:  I am not dieting. I am enjoying life and eating healthy.  I'm sitting with that for now - and am entirely mixed.  First, I feel really calm. But I also feel really scared.  If someday I really want a burger and fries (don't know why that one meal popped into my mind) how will I ever leave any of it on my plate even if I'm already full?  I'm scared and sad.  But calm and happy.  Go figure all those emotions just from not dieting for a few days!   

So I came home for dinner the other night - late - and nothing was prepared.  (Those of you who know me... how often does that happen? lol) I had ingredients to make dinner but so wasn't in the mood to cook and I was really hungry besides.  I opened the fridge and looked through it and I did have "deli" and all of a sudden I realized I could really go for the nice Virginia shaved ham I had gotten the day before.  I started to make a sandwich and stopped.  What law says I can only have ham in a sandwich?  I didn't want a sandwich.  I got a SMALL plate (even that's new for me), took a small amount of ham, a small amount of buffalo deli chicken, 1 bag of 100 calorie chips, a few pretzels, opened a can of baked beans and took maybe 1/2 a cup, and a pickle.  VOILA!  Exactly what I wanted.  Everything that appealed to me at that moment.  Reasonable portions.  I ate slowly, savored, and did not look for food the rest of the night (I bet if I had that sandwich I would have). 

Evelyn Tribole, one of the founders of IE, says: "Unconditional permission to eat is not about choosing to overeat. It's about staying connected to the eating experience - taste, satisfaction, satiety."    The plate I made for dinner (and normally a plate like that would just be the appetizer portion of a binge) hit all three qualities: taste, satisfaction and satiety. 

I'm going into the city today and will be having dinner out.  I have no idea where we are going. No idea what I will eat.  No idea what I will be in the mood for.  I cannot remember the last time I EVER went to a restaurant without checking the nutritional information on line - or even, once, I called the restaurant (that didn't have the info on line, but did have its menu) and pretended to have some awful thing wrong with me and made them go to the corporate chef (it was a chain) and ask the portion sizes and ingredients of what looked like it might have been the lowest Points item on the menu.  They actually did, and called me back, and I figured the Points before going to the restaurant.  (That's when I had an inkling that I really needed to stop dieting, just for my sanity.)  This is such a new experience for me - go wherever, eat whatever... maybe not even finish!  Especially not finish if I'm "satisfied" - OMG maybe even only get an appetizer.  I have to tell you - this is really scary stuff.  But because I like adventures it's sort of fun too.

Miriam