"a period or bout, usually brief, of excessive indulgence, as in eating, drinking alcoholic beverages, etc.; spree." I had to think about Babs' comment yesterday about how with WW we are allowed weekly points for "excessive indulgence" but I guess for me what a binge means is not how much food I've eaten (and whether I have calories or Points for it, or whether it was controlled and not "that much"), but rather, the behavior behind it. So maybe I need to say "I've had binge behavior." And even though it is controlled, whereas binges are conjured up to be wildly out of control, if I am eating something NOT in response to hunger, or the fact that it just tastes good, then it is what I would define- for me - as a binge.
And this is why I originally sought the help of a nutritionist-counselor. I wanted to get behind why I needed to continually dive into my extra points (using the 49 several times over) to the point that for every pound lost, I gained it back. And, except for very rare occasions where I could feel a "binge" coming on early in the day, these "sprees" always happened at night.
I think part of it is that sometimes I really was hungry - either from not eating enough during the day or from eating enough (in terms of Points or calories) but not eating the right foods (we all know a candy bar doesn't satiate as much as the same amount of calories in a steak!). And I don't find fault with that. I'm talking when hunger has nothing to do with it, or the social context (i.e., at a restaurant or a party) has nothing to do with it. But that it's pure emotion - the food is filling some sort of need.
What I find with IE is that we are encouraged to sit with our feelings until we either sort them through, resolve them, or have them come to a point where they are not so intense that they drive us to food. The problem I was having with dieting (and specifically with WW because of the extra weekly points allowed) is that I would eat if I had the Points available, masking the emotions - and then what did I do when, having not learned to sit with the emotions, when I didn't have any more Points available to me? Because I had no coping skills (other than eating to provide distraction) I would eat - and this is what I define as my binge.
So my definition of a binge (as controlled as it might be in terms of eating only 500 calories instead of 1500 calories) is eating to mask emotions. I would not necessarily define a binge as eating too much because it's there (restaurant, party, second helpings) - it's the running to the cabinets, refrigerator, or even going out to buy binge-y foods. It's eating outside a meal (although eating too much at a meal I wouldn't define as a binge). I'm not talking about outside a meal being "I'm in the mood for some ice cream, I think I'll have a bowl." I'm talking about outside a meal being "It's 10 o'clock, I'm bored, alone, anxious, OMG the only thing in the house that is "naughty" is that ice cream in the freezer - let me grab it while no one is looking and eat it - actually finish it (and I'll buy more tomorrow so no one knows it's missing) in about 5 minutes." That, to me, is a binge outside a meal. If I had my extra Points (or calories) to do it, then I would never get to the bottom of why I do it.
And that, is why I say IE is much more difficult than dieting. I could white knuckle staying within my Points or calories by sheer will (for a while) but then what? If I have learned nothing, then what do I do the next time when my defenses are down and my knuckles are aching?
Miriam
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