Yesterday I spoke of stepping stones and using your mistakes to lift you to higher ground. When I read this quote yesterday, it brought the same feelings. I know my issues are a mix of genetics, environment, lifestyle (including foods, exercise, sleep, etc.) but I have been moving away from feeling it is ALL my fault. Why does another person, larger than I am, who gorges on transfats and doesn't eat a lick of vegetables have no issues at all with heart disease or diabetes or auto-immune function? I am not quite comfortable in the mantra "It's not your fault, it's not your fault" because deep down I feel it is - however, I am learning more about genetics and predispositions to various diseases. Yes, I might have genetic markers that predispose me to certain illnesses (and so it is not my fault) and I was raised in a lifestyle of pastries, fat-laden and calorie-laden foods (again, not my fault) and I was raised to turn to food in times of distress because as a little child that is all that I knew to soothe me (again, not my fault).
If, after all I know now, I continue to have bad habits then the continuation of my illnesses is my fault. So, my friends, the buck stops here. I am not blaming anyone - as Maya Angelou says, "When you know better you do better" - my parents raised me with love which equals fried latkes, strudel, challah, for example. And I raised my children with love which meant the latest flavor of Hamburger Helper and Entemann's cupcakes - a different frosting for every holiday. I don't blame my parents, and the time has come to not blame myself. Now I know better and I will do better.
In the book I am reading, The Paleo Approach: Reverse Autoimmune Disease and Heal your Body by Sarah Ballantyne, the author relates how "Six different doctors, in five different cities, over eight years, and not one of them mentioned that my disease was autoimmune in nature." Do we blame the doctors? Maybe yes, maybe no. But I am not wasting my time with blame and resentment. Valuable time was wasted, but I can start now to reverse this and heal myself. When I was told I have Hashimoto's Disease the doctor said "Oh well, we'll watch it and when your thyroid starts reacting to it we will put you on medication." The fact that inflammation was never mentioned for any of my heart-related problems makes me angry - my very life could have depended upon this information. Never mind my arthritis. When another doctor looked at an MRI of my back and announced "Well, Miriam, your middle name should be Arthritis" why didn't he instead say, "Well, Miriam, your middle name should be Inflammation" and start me at least 2 years earlier on a path that would reduce it?
I can be angry and stew or I can look at it and repeat a popular Buddhist saying: When the student is ready the teacher will appear. Maybe I wouldn't have been ready anyway even if all the doctors did tell me this years ago. Who is to say? Actually I did hear of Paleo years ago and maybe I just wasn't ready. (But I stick to my story that NONE of the conventional doctors EVER said anything to me - not just that I did not hear it!)
Anyway - to truly follow the lifestyle I must eat organ meats. I can live with chopped liver and am going to pick up a pound of chicken liver from pasture-raised organic chickens on the way home today. Poor chickens. A topic for another day, but I do agree with the various traditions of saying a prayer over the slaughtered animals. I have never said grace over a meal but I have started to do that. Not so much a generic "Thank you for the food we are about to receive" but to give thanks to the animals in my personal food chain...
Miriam
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