So last night I was REALLY blue and feeling sorry for myself. I told myself that I would have to share that with you today so you don't think it's all roses with this detox. I was missing my coffee and my soda. I was missing my beef and onions and tomatoes and vinegar so that I can enjoy salads - lemon juice just doesn't do it for me I really tried....(vinegar is allowed but the doctor wants to balance out the PH of my body so none allowed during this period). Nothing that I could eat appealed to me for dinner. I treated myself to a sea bass, and although the fish guy did take off the head, tail and scales and took out the guts, he left the fish relatively whole. I thought it would be fileted so that I could enjoy it with the stuffing I made. I did bake the fish, then threw it out. I was afraid that I would never want to eat again. (LOL - Poor me poor me...) I thought about people who are so hopeful and excited about getting gastric bypass surgery, and how depressed they really must feel when they no longer can eat what they love in quantities they enjoy.
So blue....
I don't think my pity-party had to do with my food limitations. I think it had to do with lack of hunger. I have never really experienced that before. Even when I got home from surgery (several times in the past decade) I couldn't wait to eat - no pain or pain medication stopped my appetite. I was always ready to eat. Yesterday I had my shake after PT (around 5) and I got home with absolutely no appetite or hunger feelings at all (that probably had more to do with my throwing the fish out than the fact that I was disappointed it was not fileted).
So that ended Day 8.
Today is a new day! I had my shake for breakfast on the way to work, along with some avocado and my supplements. I was worried there is not enough fat in the shake for the fat soluble vitamins I take. About 11 I had an apple. At 12:30 I had my fish chowder - which is actually VERY good! - and also some roast cauliflower and 1/2 of a sweet potato. I will have fruit and a second shake in the late afternoon, then maybe the third shake for dinner. I don't even want anything until 7 or 8. If I am hungry later I will have fruit again.
I like having a "big" lunch (haha - what I just described was BIG? not by olden-day standards! LOL) and don't mind not having dinner. I think tonight I will make a soup - maybe escarole and white bean or maybe something with lentils for tomorrow's lunch. It's not that I am fished out, but I need some better variety.
I am feeling less blue today. Last night's mood came out of nowhere. (I am sure it had a source in something but I am ready to let it go.) I will drink more tea, think about coffee less. Today I took a hot to-go cup of tea with me in the car... that sort of helped.
Looking at the calendar I can see I am almost a third of the way through this. It really isn't bad in terms of what I can eat and how much I can eat if I wanted... it is just an adjustment to not being hungry (if I were even that darned fish would have looked good last night!).
How am I feeling? I noticed that I don't want to go to sleep at night instead of praying for it to be 10PM soon. (If I sleep any earlier I wake up after an hour and then am up for several.) Instead I look and I have to force myself to stop what I am doing and go to sleep so I will have enough ZZZs to get me through the next day. So I suppose I can say I notice I have more energy. That's good! It's a start!
Miriam
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