Where did the time go? I am at day 27

Almost finished!  I think I must have miscounted somewhere along the way because I am at day 27 today and tomorrow is THE END.  

I had one near miss, one collision and one fatality this weekend.

The near miss was that yesterday was Sunday morning, I was so desperate for my relaxation "ritual" so I poured a cup of coffee, added my creamer, Splenda and Starbucks flavoring.  I put it to my lips and took a small sip.  I looked at it and said - what would be the point... and poured it down the sink.

The collision was that yesterday was our Passover Seder.  I made a chicken dish that I couldn't eat (because there was sesame and sugar in the sauce).  With all the recipes and cooking I do you would think I would have made something "safe" but all I could think about was how I was going to have my cousin's wonderful brisket.  I don't know how many of you are familiar with the goings-on at a Passover seder but from appetizers to desserts probably no less than two dozen different foods hit the table.  I had NOTHING but the steamed string beans that I brought (I did have a shake on the way there so I was sure to not be hungry!) and two pieces of brisket.  As I raised the fork to my mouth my husband quietly said, "I thought you are not supposed to be eating beef."  I didn't even THINK of that ... all that was on my mind was NOT eating the chicken!  Let's just say I savored every single bite of that brisket - guilt free, knowing that there probably was little damage done since I had eaten NOTHING else from the meal.  (Side note:  I was extremely gassy all night which has not happened since starting the detox... which either means that the beef FINALLY got things going or that my stomach was complaining about having it added back... the two might be one and the same! I will ask the dietitian tomorrow.)

The fatality was those darn cookies after I was already ready for bed.  However, I did not have a huge binge.  Just a few.  But I also had a small amount (I swear) of chocolate covered raisins.  In one of the programs I have worked with this past year, the teacher says "Of course you eat at night.  You are so exhausted from being good all day."  You would think after being good all day I would have stopped myself.  But I just had a little bit (HONEST) and didn't feel bad about myself.  I wonder what the dietitian will say tomorrow - if she follows the 80/20 rule - or even 90/10.  If I had outright allergies I would be stupid to put myself in harms way, but I am curious whether there will be a little leeway once I get started on normal eating.  

The thing of it is, once I am off detox and can go back to my full Paleo cooking I am pretty sure that I won't be having (too many) lapses into sugar and flour because I will be so much more satisfied during the day.  I won't be fighting to stay on a restricted program.  I am actually very proud of myself.  I can count on one hand the number of times I went off the program (three being yesterday and a fourth when I had that horrible binge last week).  Other than that I have been true to the program - even way better than the 90/10 rule would be.  I had someone compliment me today on sticking to the program.  I am happy to say I basked in the compliment of the 90% instead of bringing up the 10% and hanging my head!  That in itself is an accomplishment.  

Tonight I am going to take out some of my favorite Paleo cookbooks and bring them to my appointment.  I am hoping that I can go back to full Paleo eating, with restrictions only on the worse of the offenders (eggs and honey... unfortunately very important...).  I am sure I will have to restrict the full sensitivity food list but I am hoping that we are talking moderation and not total cutting out.  We shall see...

Miriam