Well, it killed me to do it because I have been eating Paleo for so many months now, but I made a wonderful white rice and black bean pilaf to have last night. I had my fish soup (absolutely wonderful) with a little rice for dinner but about 8 I was looking for something else and didn't want my shake just yet. So I went ahead and made the pilaf.
I have three concerns at this point:
1) This is throwing me into a diet mentality which I tried so hard to break out of. Even though the point of the detox is not weight loss (and this was quite freeing at the beginning) I have started to think about things - like "Should I really be having this rice?" "How many extra calories is it when I could have just done without it?" "The nutritional information on the shakes says it is only 145 calories... but is it?"
2) I am starting to covet things that I have learned to walk away from... the chips, the bagels, the candy, the bread. The deprivation mindset is seeping in.
3) My friend last night said I am doing so well because I have my eye on the prize. But right now I am thinking, "What prize?" For all this limited eating I have NOT lost weight, I do not feel miraculous changes like boundless energy or no aches and pains. I know that the healing is internal and I might not be feeling anything on the outside. I understand that.
I am not getting discouraged (I had nothing to look forward to in a concrete way so there is nothing to be disappointed about). And, since I have come this far it would be just plain stupid not to see it through. I am not even blue about it as I was in the earlier phase. I don't know how I feel about it, actually. If I had dropped 10 pounds then I would tell anyone to go for it! But because the benefits are not yet showing themselves it is hard for me to answer anything but "Okay" when someone asks "How's it going?".
I am constipated again. Sort of begs the question of how this is supposed to cleanse you if everything is jammed up? I am eating a lot of fruits and vegetables, but probably still not as many as I would eat if I were not doing this. I had already cut out grains but at least I was having seeds and nuts and nut flours and flax seed meal before. So I know there has been a dip in fiber.
Anyway - just to honestly report: The gun-ho exhilaration has passed but I am no where giving up on it. Sort of like the exhilaration of falling in love and making a wedding... then the drudgery of marriage sets in. Not bad, but not the falling-in-love phase either! LOL No reason to give up on that... or this!
Miriam
Interesting as I've also been feeling less than enthusiastic regarding my own program, Miriam. I think there really is a "honeymoon phase" when one starts something new or re-starts any eating lifestyle, and since we often want instant gratification, when it doesn't happen, that feeling of deflation just naturally sets in. Shouldn't the "prize" be the long terms results - especially in regard to better health, rather than a number on a scale?Regarding numbers on a scale, I find that I lose inches (or body shape begins to shift) before I see actual results on a scale when I truly pay attention to what I eat, etc. Maybe what it really comes down to is do you truly trust the doctor who has set you on this new course in your life?
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