Putting things in perspective

I totally enjoyed the exchange of comments in my last blog.  Thanks for comments, feedback, suggestions and encouragement.

I saw my doctor yesterday - he's a DO (Doctor of Osteopathy), and so views surgery for anything, as a very last resort.  (Besides, he's the director of the local Spaulding Rehabilitation hospital so his lean is towards rehab not surgery.)  Apparently I have very bad degenerative and arthritic issues in my back. I will be having an MRI next week to figure out the next course of action.  Probably injections to make physical therapy tolerable.  However, I am cortisone immune (cortisone has never helped me in any area of my body) so I might just opt for some medication to ease discomfort.  Unless the MRI shows severe narrowing of the canals where the nerves run, I don't think surgery is an immediate option.  Besides, I'm not "going there" so it doesn't matter even if it is an option.

The doctor said that I have to own and accept that arthritis is my "thing."  I told him that I can put that into perspective because it just so happens, that my appointment was directly after I attended the memorial service for my cousin (we are less than two months apart) who died on Saturday due to pancreatic cancer.  A friend, who had survived a horrible car accident in which her fiance was killed, did teach me the lesson that I do not have to apologize for my pain (because another person's is worse and we feel guilty for complaining).  So, keeping in mind that there are people with far worse fates than mine, I still have to say... this sucks!  I stopped at Bed Bath & Beyond yesterday to get a package of various-sized jar openers because I can't hold my hand around a jar tightly enough to open it; I put away (temporarily) my new Garmin Forerunner because I can't walk now without being in pain (I thought that walking through the pain would enable me to stall how soon it sets in - instead it comes on me more quickly); and I am grateful for the short break from my belly dance classes so that I can rest my hip (which has bursitis and is aggravated by the way I carry myself because of the spine issues).

OMG - don't take me wrong - this is NOT a pity party.  I am listing all the ailments because I want to share that I am not giving up. I cannot help what is going on in my back and, alas, I might not even be able to make it better, but that does not mean that I have to give up on everything, eat uncontrollably and sit like a slug in the recliner all day.  If anything, I am even more motivated to do what I can do to find a healthy way of living and eating.  Sort of like the serenity prayer.  There's plenty that I cannot change and have to accept.  But there are things that I do not have to accept and can change.  And I think I have the wisdom to know the difference.  Eating the last of what is left in the Twinkie warehouse will NOT make my arthritis go away.  Eating healthy and anti-inflammatory foods might make it feel better.  Sitting will NOT -- in the long run -- make the arthritis pain any less, but keeping in motion (in the right way) might help "oil the joints" and will make me feel better.  

So anyway - my pain isn't any less because someone is suffering more.  My pain is my pain and I will be damned if let it stop me from living the healthiest life I can.

Miriam