Summertime Summertime Sum-Sum-Summertime

Well I have not been hibernating for six months, but rather, have been going through a long, long journey.  And seeing as though tomorrow is the first day of summer, it's time to come out the other side.

I was doing some deep work with Marianne Williamson's "A Course in Weight Loss" which she fashioned after her experience with "A Course in Miracles."  It was some very very deep self-introspection, along with very heart-wrenching work - the surface of which was not even touched in my personal nutritional counseling sessions last summer.  I came out from this journey truly ready to tackle other issues.

And with that, I was ready to work on Karly Randolph Pitman's "Overcoming Sugar Addiction" - which has brought me so far ahead of where I ever was in any other weight loss journey.  The sugar is really beside the point - what I have accomplished is the point, not the least of which has been to forgive myself and to not see myself as broken and never able to be fixed. 

In addition to weight/eating issues (but still part of the whole self-acceptance "theme") is that I have had an extremely difficult time accepting that I am 60 years old.  I know the wisdom of being grateful that I have reached this age, as so many do not.  It has not, however, stopped me from thinking that my life is 2/3-3/4 over.  (And actually, I could be hit by a bus on the way home, meaning it could easily be 100% over...)  But anyway - I just don't want to go to my grave (tomorrow or 20 years from now) telling myself that I didn't do everything I could to break out of this prison I have put myself into. 

Morbid, I know.  But it has spurred me on to find new motivation and momentum to live my healthiest life possible.  I am learning so much about myself from Karly's program - sugar issues aside - and am now on the acceptance chapter.  I think this will help me more with coming to terms with being 60 than even my weight issues.  I am just loving this program and cannot recommend it highly enough.  She has another program called "Untangled" and I wish I had bought that one instead -- I think it incorporates many of the concepts of the "Sugar" program but covers more ground.  Anyway ... This is my project and I'm loving it.

So anyway - SUMMERTIME:  I realized that tomorrow is the first day of summer, and I refuse to let it pass me by too quickly.  I am going to make every day count.  EVERY day.  First of all, I am almost totally out of credit card debt, so by the first day of Fall I vouch to have only my mortgage payment (and of course utilities and day-to-day expenses) to pay.  My car and my husband's car are so old that we might not make it to September without needing to take on a car loan payment, but I am hopeful.  With a little bit of mindfulness, the last of my credit cards should be paid off by the end of the summer - including that extra $3000 ticket to Italy last September.

The next thing I am going to do this summer is to take day trips with my hubby, perhaps even staying over a few times on a Friday night, as long as we can be home by 3PM on Saturday when he needs to go to work. Flo - if you are reading this - I always admire that you and Don do so many day trips, and I hope to take a page from your book.  You have inspired me!  No reason we can't go to Sturbridge Village on a nice Friday afternoon!

The next thing I am going to do every day is to either walk or swim (or both) and to also use the hot tub at the fitness center at least twice a week.  The hot tub is so good for my mind, let alone my body.  One of the lessons in Karly's Sugar program is to learn the art of flowing.  I find that being in the hot tub just letting the bubbles and water flow over me, helps to dislodge a lot of tension and unused energy that gets stopped up in my body (which often leads to my nighttime eating).

Last, but not least, is that I am going to make a mindful effort every day to eat healthy.  I do eat healthy anyway, so it's not the healthy part that I'm working on, it's the mindfulness.  I want to pay better attention (I already do pay attention but it's not quality attention) to my hunger and fullness signals.  Now that I am not counting anything I don't have to be a member of the clean-plate club, finishing everything that I am "entitled" to.  I have to learn the concept of what saran wrap is for - I can put away what I am eating and actually finish it later -- if I want to!

I used to blog daily which I really enjoyed. I do separate very personal and deep journaling for the programs that I have been doing, but I miss the "chit-chat" open nature of the blog. So starting tomorrow (today, actually) I am going to chronicle each day of summer, and see what I have done towards the goals I have set for myself.  One goal, here and now, is to not do anything towards any goal if that's what I feel like that day!  However, I have to acknowledge that so that I stay mindful and in the present. 

Anyway - happy to be back... lesson that I learned:  No matter how dark and long the tunnel, you always come out the other other end (otherwise it would just be a tube with a bottom!).

WELCOME SUMMER!
Miriam