Doing the challenge vicariously

I realized that I've been off on my own challenge tangents for a while, but I have been reading Babs' blog which recently explored the "Fullness Scale" and Beth's blog, which recently explored "Savoring."

I have a problem with savoring.  Sometimes I can't wait to eat something that I've looked forward to, and as much as I want to slow it down I gobble it all up - quickly!  I tried the exercise with a very unlikely candidate - a gefilte fish loaf (don't say "yuck" - I would even order it at the finest restaurants - one of the best recipes I've ever made!).  One slice is enough for a small meal or an appetizer - two slices are absolutely filling.  (I came to this by doing the fullness scale exercises. I was surprised that so little was so filling!)

Since it's not something I am going to make too often (it is out of my way - and expensive - to get the gefilte fish needed for this particular recipe) and also it is SO special I don't want to tire of it, I am slowly working my way slowly through the loaf (two slices tonight for dinner finishes it).  I found that with this, even though I savored and ate it SO slowly and was full when I was done, I was so sad when it was finished.  Something tells me this is the wrong reaction.  I should have been delighted that I enjoyed a meal so much - and that it lasted so long.

Why is there such emotion involved with a meal?  Why can't I just eat, enjoy, and go on with my activities?  I don't want to eat just for fuel - what would be sad is to remove all pleasure from foods and eating.  That's not my goal.  My goal is to savor, realize that I really don't need more, and then just acknowledge that I enjoyed the meal.  And move on.

I actually was very "good" this week (I lost another pound!) but I want to be good without the struggle, and without all the importance that I place on food.  I've tried to break away a little bit by not obsessing so much with planning, shopping and cooking (within reason - I still believe strongly that "If you fail to plan you plan to fail" - so I'm not looking to get home and not have a clue what is for dinner... just saying I don't have to plan out seven days - 21 meals plus snacks - all in one day).

On the knee front - I took my first tumble last night.  I was trying (for the first time) to go up my outside steps with no railing "step-over-step" and tripped.  I had that split-second slow-motion experience when I could decide HOW I wanted to fall, so rather than fall on my knee, which I thought would shatter it, I fell to my side into the rose-bush.  Thorns, mulch and dirt aside, I was none the worse for wear.  LOL  It was like the first dent in a new car.  Once it happens and is over with, it's not so scary to think you'll have another scratch.

Was 90 degrees here yesterday... glad it cooled down though - not quite ready for summer!
Miriam