In answer to Babs' comment

Hi Babs – thank you so much for all your comments.  Especially, as a matter of fact, the last one.  It really gave me pause to stop and think about things. Yes, what you describe is spot on – mindful eating, and making calories/Points secondary to eating healthy. 

It made me wonder why I am making such a big deal of this?  I guess that if one really gets the principles of IE (including the very first one – letting go of diet mentality) then one can become a “normal eater” which is the goal of everyone -  especially those of us who can’t see ourselves counting Points for the rest of our lives. 

Your comment made me ponder whether IE isn’t just the furtherance of the search for the “magic bullet” and whether I am wasting my time with it.  But, you have to know that I have been suffering the most with Principle #1.  In all honesty I opened my WW on-line page yesterday and started AGAIN.  But this time I will try to do it less manically.

The reason why I think I cannot give up IE, even if I discard Principle #1 and do it with WW, is that I still have “disordered” eating.  People think of anorexia, bulimia, bingeing, etc. as eating disorders, but there are many shades of it.  My disorder – specifically with regard to WW – is my manic need to find perfection.

By that I mean, if I make a casserole that serves four, I cannot just divide the plate into four.  I have to weigh each portion and spend so much time taking ½ tsp of one and putting it with the other to make sure the portions are absolutely even.  Or, like that stupid incident I talked about earlier where I wouldn’t buy a cracker because it was 15 calories more than a different-flavored counterpart (even though actually the Points are the same).  I become very obsessed with dieting.

IE says that the obsession is inherent in the diet itself.  I’m still struggling with the concept that the obsession is in ME (i.e., not letting go of Principle #1).  Dieting, whether or not I am successful with it, is in my comfort zone, while IE is not.  Is it not in my comfort zone because it’s not for me, or is it not in my comfort zone because I need so much more work on it? 

Insisting that IE is the only way to go is, to me, as wrong (maybe) as insisting dieting is the only way to.  This is why I am trying to “meld” the best concepts of the two into something that works for me. 

Am I making it more difficult than it needs to be (which thought came from reading your comment), or does it need (for me) to be this difficult to come through to the other side? 

I’m just so confused.